[ Nai has been here at least a day or two, and one way or another Vash has convinced both Wolfwood and his brother that it's a good idea to have him stay in the little mushroom house Wolfwood and he call home with their little dragon. Vash has made it a point to bug his brother about eating and drinking as much as he can, to no real effect thusfar.
Why he thinks the two bags full of snacks and drinks is going to make any difference is a mystery to likely anyone who knows the situation. It doesn't stop him though, because like Nai, Vash is just as stubborn and unwilling to deviate from his chosen path. Said path just happens to be to keep his brother alive by feeding him.
He steps inside, ducking through the door to settle his gaze on a sight that's still strange but not unwelcome. ]
...Nai, I brought some things for you to try. [ He holds up the bags, full of convenient snacks, sweet and salty. ] There's got to be something here you'll like.
[ It's gentle prodding but there's something very steely and stubborn in Vash's voice as he holds out one bag for Nai to investigate. ]
( it's been β¦ an adjustment, to say the very least of it; it's one thing to be in such close proximity with his brother again, something like an unsettling ( and unbidden ) sense of longing wedging itself in the center of his chest at just being able to have something so seemingly normal with him again, but to include the one he'd had such high hopes for contributing to his cause β
yeah, to say it's been an adjustment is putting it taco bell mildly, and that isn't even pausing to take into consideration that he's still getting used to being effectively human.
vash has been pestering him to eat, to drink, to sleep like he's supposed to and it should come as no surprise to anyone involved that he's leaning hard in the opposite direction out of sheer spite. he's never needed to eat, or drink, or sleep and he's not about to start now, regardless of how adamant his body is about reminding him that he isn't the same independent he'd been before he'd taken a laser directly to the face.
when vash comes in, nai is wrapped up in the only article of clothing he has to his name ( not to mention the only article of clothing he's ever really worn, but that's neither here nor there ), looking slightly less than the hooded villain he'd made himself out to be previously but still just a liiiittle like senator palpatine with the way he's huddled up, all but curled in on himself in a vain attempt to fight off the pains in his abdomen that he refuses to acknowledge as hunger pains.
but. ruh roh. he knows that tone when he hears it β this isn't going to be easy. )
You're never going to stop your pestering, are you? ( he cares about your wellbeing, you crotchknuckle.
[ No, he's not. Not so long as they're stuck here, together, with the need to eat, drink and sleep. Vash has adjusted easily enough, he's always tended to do those things just because he wanted to. He knew this was going to be rough for Nai, one way or another.
He watches his brother in all his hooded, hermity glory, his lips set in a almost neutral frown. He looks down at the bag and lifts it up to fish through it, trying to find something that might suit his brother's tastes.
Not that he has the first clue what that might be.
So what he fishes out is something that looks suspiciously like some kind of honey bun. He opens up the package, the plastic crinkling a little as he does so. He plops down the bag and moves to climb onto the couch, crawling into Nai's personal space like some sort of uncoordinated gazelle. He holds out the package as he leans in, one hand on the back of the couch while the other holds the treat out.
Like he's trying to feed a feral dog. ]
So. Eat. [ he pauses, waggling the honeybun. ]please
(no. of course he hadn't been expecting anything else out of him, but he had to ask anyway.
vash has always been β¦ adaptive, to be sure, rolling with things as they come at him where nai himself has always been a little too set in his ways, steadfast in his own beliefs and already older than his years when he'd only had one to have tucked under his belt. he hadn't thought this whole situation would be difficult to acclimate to β he still doesn't β even if he's beginning to understand the meaning of the phrase hunger pains.
stupid human body. he doesn't think he's ever been so disgusted by anything before.
( and your brother doesn't know what his tastes are either, vash. you'll be going on this adventure hand in hand. so to speak. )
he eyes him warily as he clamors onto the couch ( uncoordinated gazelle indeed, but it's β¦ undeniably endearing, in a way ) gaze shifting between the other's own bright blue eyes and what he holds out in front of him, the latter of which smells almost too sweet, but that doesn't stop his stomach from giving a lurch at the notion that an answer to the hunger pains problem is mere inches away from his face.
he sniffs, and it's meant to be in derision but the scent of the pastry only proves to make his mouth water. and he hates it.
stupid, traitorous human body.) No. ( a pause. ) β¦ Thank you. ( at least he's being polite ( ??? ) about it? )
Nai. You HAVE to eat! Why do you have to be so stubborn? You're not going to survive if you don't eat! This place MAKES you different!
[ He's not in Nai's lap, not yet, his reach still awkward. He looks down and back though despite not moving the honeybun any further away, almost like he's contemplating it to get closer. ]
I don't want to make you eat it, Nai but I will if I have to.
[ A bold statement, but a little bit of brotherly violence is worth keeping Knives alive, if that's what it'll take. As he says this he swings one long leg over Knive's waist, however that works, fully intending on settling his full weight on wherever he's managing to sit. ]
One bite. Try it.
[ No please this time. He is clearly not taking even a polite no. ]
I've been all right so far, haven't I? ( 'fine' being a very β¦ speculative term, to be perfectly honest, because those hunger pains are really beginning to get to him and sooner or later he's going to end up passing out from the weakness that comes from being this bloody stubborn about something as normal as eating.
normal for humans, he would say. and he is not.
he's probably going to stick to that line of thought for the duration of his stay in this place, never quite learning better, but. stubborn is as stubborn does.
( that isn't how the saying goes, but nobody here needs to know that. )
his eyes narrow as vash closes the distance between them, what little there is to begin with and especially with what comes out of his mouth next β )Will you? ( he actually laughs, but it doesn't last very long. more a bark of laughter than anything else. ) That sounds a little less passive than you usually are.
( nai can't really sink any further into the couch than he has already, but when his brother swings his leg over his waist he does his level best, even if there is no denying that the space between them is negligible.
his expression doesn't change, mouth set in a firm line, eyes almost like chips of ice. ) I don't need it.
It's for your own good. [ Doesn't this sound familiar? ] You'll die if you don't eat, Nai!
For once, just listen to me! [ There's an edge of panic in his voice, just faintly there at the outer reaches of what he says, despite the way the words are practically growled out of him.
He doesn't want to shove the thing in his brother's face, and he's pretty sure it's not going to get into Nai's mouth unless he makes a point of helping things along. So, with his left hand he reaches down to try and pry his brother's mouth open. Stupidly, likely, considering it's the more vulnerable one of his appendages.
He probably should have used his prosthetic for this. ]
( hm. sure does sound a little bit familiar. where might we have heard that before β¦ )
I'm not dead yet. ( he gives back matter-of-factly, resolute in his stubbornness. but you should have seen that coming, honestly. ) It is not going to be the end of the world if I don't eat β¦ whatever that is.
( never mind that his mouth is still watering, because it does smell good, but at this point he's just holding on out of spite. again, that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.
but. oh, yeah, critical error on your part for not choosing to use the prosthetic to try to get his mouth open; the thought of biting immediately filters up to the forefront of his mind, but he tries to keep his jaw clamped shut for the meantime, because he isn't the one that thinks of biting and goes through with it without flipping through any other options.
doesn't mean it isn't going to happen, though. for now, please enjoy trying to pry open the viper's jaw. or something. )
Not yet but I can tell something's wrong! You've got bags under your eyes.
[ He sets the honeybun down on his brother's chest because why not, and lifts both hands up to try and pry open his mouth. It's really not working out for him despite his best efforts so.... the prosthetic hand lifts and he presses his brother's nostrils closed.
Knives may be able to deny that he has to eat, but there's only so much time he can manage to hold his breath for before he's going to realize he has to do something gross like breathing. ]
Just open up and EAT IT! [ The end of the sentence is growled low, much in the way he's spoken to at least one or two people before when his temper has really just been peeled away. ]
( joke's on you, vash. those bags would be under his eyes regardless, because he was born tired of everything and it's just a little more noticeable when he has to do things like actually sleep. and eat.
but he would argue that eating isn't conducive to under-eye bags. what does he know.
oh, but what have we here β
are we playing dirty, vash?
there's a strangled sort of grunt that sticks in the back of his throat when those prosthetic fingers pinch his nose closed, and pale brows furrow so tightly that they meet at the apex of his forehead, above eyes that narrow so quickly that he might as well have gone cross-eyed.
this is going nowhere fast, and while it remains painfully obvious that neither of them are going to give an inch unless they have no choice, that absolutely does not mean that nai isn't going to use everything to his advantage, even if there isn't much of one to begin with. if those flesh-and-blood fingers are still anywhere near his mouth when he opens it to take a breath?
they are one hundred percent going to get snapped at. probably more than once. )
[ Vash isn't quick enough to move his hand out of the way. Nai's teeth sink into skin not once, but twice and it's all Vash can do to pull his hand out of his brother's mouth with nothing more than a shout. It doesn't look like Nai's broken the skin, but that's definitely going to leave a mark. ]
You BIT me?!
[ He hooks one arm slightly and slugs Nai in the side with his fist, just below the ribs. This stupid asshole just doesn't GET IT. He's going to DIE if he doesn't eat, or at least drink something. Vash glances from the honeybun to the bag and then to his brother again, the scowl on his face pretty severe for him. ]
What's WRONG with you Nai?! It's not going to kill you to try!! You're already weak!
( vash. this really is an overreaction on your part, don't you see that? he is not going to die right this very second if you don't get some food into him. he's pretty sure, anyway. he's held out well enough up to now, though the jury's out on how long he'll be able to continue holding up this farce.
he didn't even β ) It wasn't that hard. ( there's an oomph for his troubles when the slug to his ribs comes, a grunt and nothing more. ) Don't you know better than to put anything vital near a predator's mouth? ( lol like you're in any position to call yourself a predator, knife.
he still sounds so eerily calm for how his brother is trying to manhandle food into his mouth; he sounds bored, actually, until you're already weak comes out of him and he growls around a sound that emerges as more of a snarl than it doesn't, and he heaves himself up so quickly and so sharply that he sends them both rolling. whether or not they go over the back of the couch is anyone's guess. )
I'm not weak! I never had to eat before this, and I shouldn't have to now just becauseβ
( because he's basically human. the words are lingering there at the forefront of his mind, but he refuses to say them. he will not.)
[ Op, there they go, clear over the couch, and onto the floor. The couch comes WITH them, toppling over to slam onto the ground as the brothers roll away, Vash landing on top with his hips straddling Nai, and somehow, the honeybun STILL in one of his hands. If he wants his brother to eat it, he's not going to let it get nasty on the floor.
Vash doesn't even seem bothered by the tumble, despite being no more or less human than his brother right now in this moment. His expression is angry though, angry simmering full of concern and frustration. After all of this THAT'S what he's concerned about?
It's fine, he'll finish that unfinished sentence for him. ]
Because you're as good as human?
[ The words are practically growled, a tone of voice he doesn't use often. Only when he's frustrated, desperate, and determined. ]
I'm not going to let you wither away because you're too stubborn to see that you're wrong!
( at least it's just the two of them in the mushroom for now β he's not about to explain why they're rolling around on the ground, not only because it's no one's business but theirs, but. there really is no good explanation for it other than they're just plain caught up in being full stupid. check back later.
don't you dare finish that sentence for him, vash β
except of course he does, and as distracted ( and maybe just a little bit winded for having sent them tumbling ) as he is by his brother's weight straddling his hips, those words are enough to bring a stunted sort of snarl from the very back of his throat. matching his brother's tone vibration for vibration.
he knows he's serious, but he's not about to give up, even though he has long since realized his continued resistance is futile.
you have no idea how hard it is not to make a borg joke right now. damn everything.)
How would you feel? ( he asks very suddenly, through mostly-gritted teeth, like even this much is coming too close to agreeing with you're as good as human.) If you'd never had to eat, never had to sleep, and were told that such things made you arguably perfect? ( his followers, the plant worshippers, anyway β¦ some of them would trip over themselves to tell master knives just how perfect he was.
it was sickening, sometimes, but. there was no denying that independents were supposed to be the embodiment of perfection. at least after all the conditioning he's been through, without seeing it as such. )
And then you wake up. And you hurt. And you're tired. And there had never been any reason to warn you against it, so you had no idea what to expect. But. ( he pauses, and he realizes that his hands have come to rest against vash's thighs of their own accord. ) It made you feel less like yourself than you've ever felt.
[ Maybe Knives hadn't meant it the way Vash takes it (or maybe he did.) But Vash softens a little, his expression shifting to something far less desperate and angry. It's something worried in a different way, something gentle and quick to rebut. But there's something else too, like an old wound has had its scab scratched off and reopened. He's quick to look away, his hands settling on his brother's shoulders as he fixes his gaze somewhere else while he makes a grand effort to hide the turmoil in his chest. ]
I guess I wouldn't know what it's like to be perfect. [ It's basically muttered under his breath, aimed away from Knives as he sets his shoulders stubbornly. When he looks back, he's managed to shove the hurt he's caused himself back into the deepest reaches of his mind. Instead, he leans down towards his brother, his hands lifting to settle at either side of his head, fingers curling over his ears as he presses his forehead to Knives' own, like he's done so many times with the tanks their sisters are in. ]
You're still you, Nai. You're still my brother. You're still...
( the instant the words are out of his mouth he regrets letting them slip up in the first place; of course vash wouldn't know what that is like, being an independent but still so close to being human even without any of his inherent plant properties being taken away from him upon his arrival here.
it makes his stomach churn, his chest ache when his brother looks away from him and he's reaching for him even before vash moves himself, before they're forehead to forehead nai is smoothing his own hands over the other's sides, up until he can curl them both around either side of his neck, breath caught in the back of his throat in the sort of apology there aren't the correct words for. )
That's not what I meant, Vash, I'mβ I'm sorry, that isn't what I meant at all.
( forehead to forehead now, he dares to brush their noses together in the smallest, if not entirely subtle nuzzle. ) Rem always said you were exactly as you were meant to be, and that's true. And now β¦ we're the same. ( he pauses, and nuzzles again, boldly. )
[ It's hard to swallow the shock of an apology coming from his brother, let alone the gentle way he's touching him now when they were just bickering and flailing and fighting a moment ago. It makes Vash's breath catch in his throat, his frame stilling almost like a deer caught in headlights.
It's like a spell, the way their noses brush together and Knives repeats words that had worked to soothe his anxieties about not being good enough from their childhood. It's hard not to turn into the touch, the nuzzling. ]
You're not any different than you were, Nai. You're still my brother.
( it had shocked him, too, how easily the apology had come out of him, and even though he has yet to give his apologies for everything else he'll end up giving them over for in the future, this is a very, very small step in the right direction. isn't it?
( they're not fighting anymore, that much is worth saying it's a step in the right direction. )
he takes a moment to breathe β he's getting used to things like that, the sort of things that are autonomous for most others, like the beat of his heart at the center of his chest that seems to sync up with vash's now that they're this close. the fingers pressed lightly to either side of his brother's neck pick up the steady thrum of his pulse ( thump, thump, thump, thump ), and exhales slowly into the minimal space between them. )
At least that can't be taken away from me. ( yes, that's what really matters, and with those words out of his mouth, it's as if nothing else really does.)
[ He doesn't have a hand on his brother's pulse point, but he can swear he can hear Nai's heart slow down with his own now that they aren't wrestling for control or dominance or to make a point. Vash exhales a breath through his nose. What's said though, almost makes Vash's own heart stop.
It's so bitter, and—he thinks— scared, that he turns his head to return the nuzzle from before. Just a small, comforting touch, his hands shifting to drag through the shorn short portion of his brother's hair. It's probably too much, this kind of affection, and he stops soon after he does it. ]
( rip that poor honey bun, wherever it ended up once they'd stopped their fumbling and rolling about.
he is a bit calmer, now, much more so than he had been before, and it may have a little bit to do with vash's weight bearing down on him; like a weighted blanket, almost, a comforting thing that might remind him of when they were much, much younger and would curl up together while rem read them a story before bed.
well. before vash turned in. and nai had watched him sleep, sometimes, when they were that young. because a part of him had wondered what it felt like β and now that he has no choice but to find out, that part of him has filtered back to the surface, willing him to take that chance to find out.
there's a small sound that catches just behind his teeth when the affection of his brother's hands in his hair stops β it's a whine, really, but he'll deny any and all allegations to as much β and he follows it with a sigh. something knowing, but just a bit melancholy. )
There's nothing that exists that can break the bond of blood, little brother. ( vash might have reeled himself in with his open affection, but nai lifts a hand to stroke long fingers over the curve of his cheek, the bridge of his nose, the arch of an eyebrow. ) But I do appreciate the sentiment.
[ If Vash notices the whine (he does) he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he watches his brother with a likely unervingly hard to read expression, the lines of his face flat as he stares down at Knives with almost uncharacteristic intensity. It seems to soften as his brother's fingers brush over the features of his face, and eventually Vash lets out a sigh that's almost like an inflatable pool toy being deflated. ]
I don't want to lose you either, you know. It's not like I wanted anything like that.
[ He clenches his fists a little, the action repeated again and again, like he's looking for something to do with his hands. ]
That's why I'm trying to help. But you're so stubborn and you never listen to me.
[ It's practically petulant. Sure he probably could have gone about this in a better way, but it's the thought that counts right? ... honestly, the both of them could do to learn that the method of getting somewhere does, in fact, matter. ]
( nai has seen that kind of intensity in his brother, unbeknownst to him; it almost unnerves him here, tentative as their beginnings have been without vash knowing everything about the point in their timeline nai had come from β but at least it's familiar, something he can hold onto even though he's trying not to let things escalate further.
( where had the honeybun gone, anyway? if vash is flexing the fingers of both hands as he is, that means it's gone missing in action, and it's probably rolled under the couch they've just rolled over the back of themselves and lost itself to whatever dust bunnies that have made a home for themselves underneath.
rest in fuzz, you little debbie reject. )
nai sighs, a quiet thing in the back of his throat and reaches for his brother's hands, takes them in his own and rubs the pads of his thumbs over the backs of his knuckles. he's not sure what else he can try to do to appease him, not right in this particular moment, but he thinks about the other snacks he'd brought back, and wonders if the bag he'd left is still somewhere amongst the couch cushions. )
You never listen to me, either, you know. ( he says it to be funny, as a joke, and he hopes vash takes it as such. ) β¦ Where did your bag of snacks go?
( maybe. he'll actually try something. if you don't try to force feed him. )
[ That's the problem isn't it. That both of them talk but neither of them listen, too wrapped up in their own perspectives and trauma to really hear what the other is saying. To understand each other. ]
I guess that's something we need to work on. [ There's a frown on his features and if his eyes look a little wet, they don't. That's no one's business. His gaze is fixed on the thumbs dragging over his knuckles and Vash thinks distantly that it's been such a long time since he and his brother had shared gentle touches like this, like the ones to his face only a little while ago. It's a little lopsided, Knives being the one to offer the soothing touches while Vash had been the one to practically send them tumbling over the ground with desperate aggression and something akin to guilt tugs at the deepest point of his stomach.
Until Knives speaks again and he blinks, looking up from their hands to look for the sack of snacks with a straightened back like a meerkat looking out for predators. ]
( learning how to listen is something they both need to work on, isn't it? maybe they need to seek out some couples' therapy, or something.
( last narration checked, toji freaking fushiguro had the title of therapist held pretty steadfast. whether or not he's any good at it is anyone's guess, considering the source. )
i guess that's something we need to work on.
he's right, and he should say it again; even if his brother's eyes don't look just a little bit wet ( they absolutely do, but no one is about to call him out on it, at least not right now ), he reaches to brush the pads of both thumbs just beneath them anyway, the soft sort of motion he might have gone through when they were still very young and very new and someone had a nightmare they didn't want to talk about. )
I suppose it is. ( he says quietly, just as soft as his touch to the delicate skin just above his cheekbones, and he follows vash's gaze toward the table with a small sigh accompanied with a tap to one bony hip. ) Up. ( it's all he offers at first, and then: ) Let's β¦ see what else you've brought back with you. ( he's going to try something, all right?
Vash isn't looking at Nai when he touches his thumbs to his face, but he does freeze in the moment, muscles slowly relaxing as the pads of his brothers thumbs try to wipe away tears that only really threatened to fall, but never did. It's weirdly familiar and somehow makes his chest ache a little, his gaze flicking to look back down at Knives with an awed confusion.
It might take him a long time to get used to touches like this, gentle and intimate in a way that's only between two people who have known each other all their lives. He almost misses the tap to his hip or the request one would toss casually at a pet rather than a sibling—but he doesn't complain, and instead he moves as asked, pulling himself up to his feet to right the couch before doing anything else.
Like he's still processing what his brother's said. Once he DOES however, he blinks at Knives, his expression carefully neutral. ]
( and there's the joke. we'll just leave it right where it is.
they're still so new at this β at least, going back as far as when they were children, and physical touch and intimacy was easy for them β and this may have started as a silly fight over an oversaturated, sugary confection, but he really is trying to get a foothold in knowing where they can go from here.
he doesn't want to move, not really, when this sort of thing feels so much more normal than it should with how estranged they've been, but. he had bid vash up, and it's his own fault for mourning the loss of his body heat and the weight of him against him when he finally extracts himself from their tangle of limbs and sets the couch upright again.
nai sits up, folding his legs beneath him in a way that makes it seem like he floats upward rather than β¦ well, executes any movement that resembles that of a human, huffs out a soft noise of ascent and nods. )
Perhaps something a bit less tooth-rottingly sweet? ( he's well aware of whom he's speaking to, but he has to try, right? )
[ Anyone else might have been bothered or weirded out by the strange way Nai manages to stand, but Vash pays it no mind, it's just normal Nai things. He's always been graceful (when he's not slamming through windows). ]
It's mostly junk food, actually. Sorry. [ He lifts a hand to brush through his hair, frowning as he reaches over to grab the bag with one hand. The other is quick to start rooting around, his lower lip jutting out in an exaggerated pout. In hindsight, if he wanted his brother to eat, maybe he shouldn't have bought things with his own tastes in mind. ]
I should have looked for better options.
[ He does, however pull out a bottle of water. That much, at least, he was sure to get. He holds that out, the food items inside the bag a jumbled mess. ]
( look, there is no graceful way to slam through a window, all right? especially when you're chasing after your brother that won't share the interdimensional nuke cube.
in vash's defense, how could he have bought things with nai's tastes in mind, when he's never had a need to figure out what his tastes are before now? of course it stands to reason that no one could ever have the kind of sweet tooth his twin does, and he's going to realize quickly enough that he prefers savory things instead, but. he doesn't know what he likes, or what he doesn't like, other than he's pretty sure that honey bun might have killed him. how can something that's supposed to be edible smell that sweet? it just doesn't seem plausible. or edible.
nai comes to pick through the bag a bit for himself,seeing nothing that seems even remotely appealing, even to his underdeveloped palate, but he does take the bottle of water without complaint. plants do need water, you know.
he pointedly takes a small sip while maintaining direct eye contact with his brother, re-caps the bottle and sets it back down on the table. ) Happy? ( and perhaps after a moment too long of lingering silence, he adds to the very end of that question: ) You were only concerned with getting me to eat β¦ not exactly what I was going to eat. Right? ( he shakes his head. )
I'll go with you next time.
Edited (adding stuff don't worry about it) 2024-01-03 21:01 (UTC)
[ Water isn't food, but it's a step up from nothing. So Vash does his best to school the hint of disappointment from his face. Nai maintains eye contact but Vash doesn't, his head turning to the side.
He should give his brother credit. Instead of being a little shit he offers Nai a softer expression, silent gratitude. In the same breath he makes his next suggestion: ]
We can go now. [ There's got to be something at one of the shops that you'll eat. He turns, stepping to look around the both of them for a moment. He grimaces at the mess they've made and immediately starts to straighten things up a little. Maybe it's nervous energy or something else that he's working off but he doesn't want to stare at his brother while he waits for his answer. ]
( water isn't food, no, but it is something to all plant-life, isn't it? a-hyuck β
( no, we aren't sorry for that and no, we aren't taking it back. you're going to have to deal with it. )
he notes the way his brother doesn't maintain eye contact, eventually turning his own gaze downward toward the table's surface and its contents, at least until vash speaks up again. he takes that silent gratitude for what it is and stows it away for some time in the future when he thinks he might need that softness. for whatever reason.
he doesn't speak up again until they've managed to make the place look like it hadn't just staved off some kind of world war, the couch back in its rightful place and everything else assuming some sort of order.
then, he breathes out a sigh. ) Now? ( almost like a small child having been told it's time to do something it does not want to do, but he had said he would go with him β¦ so. )
All right, now. But no more sweets. ( a beat of a pause, and then: ) β¦ Please.
( surely neither of them had thought such an innocent game with an equally innocent premise would have seen them ending up like this; the argument is, perhaps, a little less surprising given that their first real spat since nai's arrival had been over a honey bun, but even he is a bit taken aback by how things had escalated. and so quickly.
maybe he shouldn't have pushed this far, maybe he should have held himself back from putting them into this very precarious situation β but that's the whole of it. it feels like he's been holding himself back from this for years, decades, a century and some change and it still hadn't ended well for them back then, had it? had it? with his own greed and loathing of humanity bringing his own demise down around his head like the proverbial ton of bricks.
vash pulls away β not far, just enough to take in a breath and he should do that, too, maybe β and it might not be far but it's still too much so for his liking, arms tightening around him fractionally of their own volition but then he makes himself loosen them. just a bit, just a little, because this is so tentative and he doesn't want to see his brother skittering to put some distance between them.
his face is buried against his neck, and nai's hands start to smooth over the notches of his spine in what he hopes is some kind of soothing way, something he might have done when they were both much, much younger.
the tip of his nose brushes almost absently against the soft patch of skin just beneath vash's ear, another kiss pressed to the beat of his pulse. ) Why? (thump, thump, thump, steady and sure beneath the pressure of his lips. ) What do you have to be sorry for?
[ He doesn't want to talk. He STILL doesn't want to think. It would have been so much easier if Nai had just accepted the apology without clarification. Vash wouldn't have to try and untangle the threads of thought and emotions currently doing their best to knot together indecipherably. Vash swallows back words, his head shaking in the negative just a little as his arms tighten again and he pulls just that much closer like if he lets go he's going to wake up on the floor alone. ]
Everything. [ The chasm that's been put between the two of them for so many years, every choice that's helped push them both further apart. This, right now. Tentative and terrifying and rocketing over boundaries and lines that he's not so sure should have been crossed for more reasons than his thoughts can sort. And yet, he makes no effort to move, to disengage from the hold they have on each other. Instead, he's pressed so close that the word is spoken against the skin of Nai's neck, his nose buried against skin like he's seeking to overwhelm his senses with the scent of citrus and aloe, something so familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time.
Nai's hands drag over the curve of his spine and Vash exhales a rough breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in. It's almost a sob, but not quite, just a rough exhale that ends with his mouth mirroring the kiss placed to his own neck. When those hands climb up higher, Vash finally finds the strength to push himself up, his own hands moving to settle on his brother's shoulders as he lifts his gaze to level a careful glance his way, searching, looking, seeking out something but not being able to ask, not wanting to ask. ]
( it's knives who should be apologizing, not vash. not by a long shot; all the things he's done since he'd crashed the ships, all the bloodshed and heartache and everything he tells himself he's done for the sake of bringing them back together, of making vash understand that they should never have been separated in the first place.
the boundaries, the lines they're crossing are those upheld by humans, he thinks. he understands that siblings don't generally share this kind of closeness, this kind of intimacy but he can't very well deny that it feels good, that it feels right holding his brother in his arms like this, as close as they've ever been with the beat of his heart mirrored by vash's own. it feels like this is the only way it should ever be between them, no space left for jesus for anything but the undeniable pull that makes them both into magnets.
pulled into each other's orbit.
vash raises his head to look at him again, eyes bright, wide, open and innocent and nai wants to kiss his eyelids, the highest points of his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose. he wants to kiss his everything, he thinks, and it still wouldn't be enough. )
I'm sorry, too. (for the last hundred years.
the plants, your stupid humans, all of it.
i just wanted you with me.
he raises one hand to smooth the pad of his thumb over his brother's bottom lip, leaning in to place another tentative kiss against the line of his mouth. soft, searching. asking for permission. )
[ He's almost certain he would never have heard an apology from Nai. He's never thought he was wrong, not once. To hear it come from his brother's lips gets a shocked exhale punched from Vash's lungs, and an all new set of tears threaten to well up in the corners of his eyes.
It doesn't fix anything, it doesn't take back what was done, or the pain and lives that were lost. But it's like a door without a handle in the wall between them suddenly has something to grip. It's a starting line, and Vash is certain because its Nai he can forgive him, he already has, he's willing to do whatever it takes if it means that maybe they can find some common ground. Maybe they can start to mend the gap between them.
I missed you.
There's an air of confusion on his face when that thumb brushes over his lip, but he only has a moment before Nai leans in with that tentative kiss. Maybe it's the uncertainty of it that has Vash lift a hand up to touch the side of Nai's face, to brush his thumb over the curve of his cheek. There's a moment, then two as Vash's thoughts tumble through his stupid addled brain and he exhales again.
Okay. The way he nods his head is subtle, the barest movement as he leans into the kiss, their lips pressing together again, half-lidded eyes slipping fully shut. He's the one who pushes for more this time, parting his lips to swipe his tongue past Nai's, even as he rises up on his knees to get a little bit of height. ]
( an apology like that is never going to be enough to mend what's been stretched between them for so long β but it's a start. nai has never felt he was in the wrong before, not when he crashed the ships, not when he appeared to show no remorse at rem having been a casualty, not in his ruthless journey to find vash and bring him back to him once and for all.
but things change, don't they? at the very least β¦ he's never quite thought himself incapable of changing on a certain level, only that it wasn't all that necessary, because there was nothing about him that needed changing in the first place.
part of the human condition, he doesn't realize, is knowing when you're the one at fault and not being afraid to acknowledge it. to own it. but maybe that's what happening here, and maybe this place is going to end up being good for both of them.
i missed you more than you'll ever know.
my vash.
and when his brother is the one to push forward this time, when he rises up to gain some height and licks into his mouth there's a sound that filters up from the very back of nai's throat that he can't quite tamp down, something almost-pained but wanting, teeth grazing over vash's tongue without really realizing he's putting the pressure against soft, warm muscle.
the way heat settles low in the bottom of his stomach as he reaches up with both hands to tangle pale fingers in golden hair should be embarrassing, but. it's just the two of them. there doesn't need to be any of that. )
[ It's hard to maintain his self-deprecating when every time the mask slips in front of anyone and it shows he gets called out relentlessly. By Nicholas, by the friends he's managed to gather despite himself. It's harder still now that he's been given a moment to relax, a chance to think about things he wants for himself, despite still struggling with allowing any of it. Maybe this is one of those times where he's desperately clawing towards something he wants but doesn't really know what to do or where to go with it.
Right now, though, he's ok with it. This feels so much better than fighting with Nai, better than arguing and talking in circles or watching people around them die because of squabbling and his own inability to act. Vash's thoughts race, almost losing focus on the feeling of his mouth on Nai, up until the teeth on his tongue pull him back from his thoughts and the fingers in his hair yank a hum past his lips, nearly lost in the way he immediately tugs the kiss deeper. There's no blood but he's quick to retaliate given the chance, teeth catching on Nai's lower lip and biting down.
Another kiss is quickly peppered thereafter, almost like an immediate apology, a walking back of the pain he's just inflicted. ]
Nai.
[ It's muttered, hummed a little, a gentle chiding almost. Again, neither one of them has ever been good at words, at least when it comes to talking to each other, so now isn't going to be any different, especially when Vash isn't sure he trusts himself to use his words the right way. Instead, he follows up with a small smile and a brush of his nose against Nai's own. ]
( you have always kind of worn your heart on your sleeve, vash, that much isn't exactly news; but the longer he finds himself here, the more he thinks he might actually have to be grateful for the people he's taken to keeping the company of. he might not have met very many of him, homebodied recluse that he has a tendency to be even on the best of days, but β¦ that's just the thing of it. vash needs people, whether he chooses to realize it for himself or not.
and he doubly needs people who can call him out on all of that self-deprecation when he needs to hear it.
as for what he wants; in this very moment, nai would give him anything within his power to do so, and if it just happens to be the warmth of his own body pressed against his, of his kisses, his presence, it's definitely within his wheelhouse to do as much.
the sound out of him that comes from the bite to his lip isn't one of pain, more surprise than anything else laced with β¦ something else entirely, something that brings a light flush to the very tips of his ears and the rise of his cheekbones, made so much more noticeable with how pale he is in comparison to his twin brother, and you won't say a word about it if you know better, vash. don't call him out on blushing just from a lip bite.
( please. please call him out on blushing just from a lip bite. )
his heart sings at the sound of his name out of vash's mouth, like that, and he returns the bump of nose against nose and a quick, teasing nip in retaliation because he'll never find himself above being a little shit in return for his brother's antics.
absently, one of his hands slips warm fingers beneath the edge of the other's shirt, almost tickling across the skin of his lower belly, testing, but still asking for permission. ) Vash β¦ ( against his mouth, followed by an increasingly heated kiss. )
[ It's a statement of awe, but the lopsided grin that flickers over his lips is definitely a little more shit-eating than he means to let slip. As if that wasn't enough one of his prosthetic fingers is lifted to trace over the shell of Nai's ear, over the pale and blushed skin, following the color over Nai's cheek. He's certainly taking his time to point it out, taking any new opportunity to be playful in a way he's not been able to be since they were children.
And oh, its so easy to sink right back into heated kisses that increasingly leave him breathless, the beat of his heart racing in a way that he's only recently, rarely, experienced. But then— ]
Wait. [ A wave of panic rises from his stomach, washing out the warmth that had been tentatively swirling there moments before. It pulls Vash out of the most recent kiss, his own cheeks dusted red even though his expression is now an alarmed grimace. ]
...You don't want to. [ Fingers twitch at Nai's shoulder for a moment before they move, his hand flicking down to tug at the hem of his shirt. He sinks back down, the first step in retreating as he turns his head away, the angle of it making it hard to see where he's looking thanks to the weird semi-reflective properties of his glasses.] I'm not...
[ He spares a quick glance out of the corner of his eyes at his brother, his perfect, pale, ideal example of what an Independent can be. There's not a single scar, wound, patch of marred skin that Vash regrets, but he knows what they look like. He's seen the reaction people have had to his body the rare instances that he's let someone see. But Nai? Maybe it's better if he never sees, better if it's left as an uncomfortable partial unknown. ]
I am not. ( and this is what it's come to, is it β¦ being bullied by your crybaby little brother. in all fairness, he deserves more than that just for the sake of being who he is, but coming from vash β¦ it makes that flush deepen, just a little bit, but don't you dare say a damned thing about it!
the coolness of his prosthetic fingers feels nice against his heated skin, though, there is no denying that; it's been said before that nai has always felt as though he ran too cool to liken his body to that of a human's, and he isn't sure whether it's because of how he's changed in this place or the simple fact that vash is as close as he is, and he's soaking up his warmth in turn. but it feels like he might just burn up from the inside out, and if he's perfectly honest, he'd be okay with that.
but then vash is pulling away, putting distance between them and it might not be much, but nai hates it. he might not fully comprehend the state of his brother's body, old scars and new ones alike mapping him out with all the things he's let the humans do to him for the sake of trying to help them, and while he wouldn't blame him for being self-conscious over such a thing, he can't help but to think β )
Not what?
( he murmurs quietly, reaching up almost as an afterthought to pluck his glasses from the bridge of his nose and set them aside, hopefully not to end up lost or broken; his eyes are so much brighter without the tinted lenses in the way, and nai brings both of his hands back up to either side of his brother's face, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones, expression as soft as it's never been before this. ) Perfect?
Yes, you are.
( but he doesn't press forward, not yet, even as he's kissing him again with nothing but the heated pres of his lips and the slick slide of his tongue, a silent plea of trust me lingering in between every beat of his heart behind his ribs. )
[ There's so much to be said about the way Nai looks at him, the expression on his face something so new and different and startling that Vash is motionless when his proverbial safety blanket is pulled away from his face. He blinks once, then twice, so unused to looking at the world without his sunglasses. The hands on his face do a little to quell the panic swirling in his stomach.
Any protest he had ready is lost immediately the moment Nai's lips are back on his. Vash hesitates, hands settled on his brother's chest for a moment like he's going to push away, going to retreat and escape back to his room— but he doesn't. It takes a moment, but as the kiss lingers and Vash slips into it his tense posture relaxes, the palms of his hands sliding up over muscle and the line of Nai's clavicle, and over his shoulders to loop together. His body leans in, arching against Nai's lap, the upset crease of his brow slowly unpinching.
When he takes a moment to breathe, lips barely parted enough to do so, his eyes stay half lidded. It might have been wordless, but maybe between the two of them it's almost second nature to understand the meaning in wordless gestures. ]
Okay. [ Tenative as it is, he'll give Nai the trust he seems to be pleading for. ]
( he's always thought his brother to be a thing of beauty, even when they were younger and still had rem to fuss over them for things like birthday parties; he's always been a silly boy, goofy in a way that nai himself can't relate to but the blue of his eyes, the almost golden tint to his skin, the way his smiles never fail to make even the darkest spaces so much brighter β
and when he looks at him now, wide-eyed and unsure of what he's supposed to expect from a brother that had, up to now, only gone in search of vengeance for all the things he'd lost he wants nothing but to reassure him. bring him in and keep him close and remind him that it's all right, everything is going to be all right and they can finally pick their pieces back up and work on gluing them back together.
vash says okay, and it's the only incentive he'll ever need to keep moving forward; one hand slips back down to the hem of his shirt, fingers curling over the rise of a hipbone possessively for a moment, letting blunt fingernails drag over the sharp bump of bone beneath warm skin just to see what kind of reaction it might get him. he's being soft, gentle, yes β because vash deserves that much β but there's a possessiveness in him that can't be watered down. not when he has the object of his affection quite literally in his lap.
his other hand smooths back around to the base of his spine, gently kneading at the bottommost vertebra there and then boldly sliding down to the curve of his ass, encouraging him to arch against him again as he seeks to suck on his tongue. )
[ When they were younger, barely a year or so old, Nai was ever-present in his life, in a way that even Rem wasn't. It's undeniable that Vash loved...LOVES Rem, but Nai was a grounding presence, a presence that he constantly gravitated towards no matter what. He learned piano for Nai on some level back then, an unconscious effort to deepen the bond that he would ever have with one other person in the universe. He realizes as he sits where he is, pressed to his brother's body, that perhaps they'd rubberband back together no matter what they did, inevitable.
It had been painful to run. Terrifying to sever a connection that ran so deep. But he'd done it, and he'd done it to protect people he knew would wind up hurt because of them. Because of the anger he'd seen in his brother's eyes. But as he looks now, he sees none of that, only a face that looks far more similar to a boy he remembers all too clearly from those days on the ship, the stars in the background.
It makes his chest warm in a completely different way than the Nai is touching him warms him. Wandering hands feel scalding -- a sensation that Vash is certain is his own reaction to touch rather than the temperature of Nai's hands. It's a one-two punch when nails dig into skin and another hand drags over his ass and it's all that he can do to temper the moan that tumbles into Nai's mouth as a result.
Mismatched hands shoot up to tangle in bright blond hair, and this time they pull, and they pull hard, yanking at the roots of the strands. His hips roll forward into that possessive hold, seeking out the sting of it but also the warmth and friction of the body (his brother's body) underneath him. It's almost too much, for someone like Vash, still yet unused to gentle touch or the way it makes his heart races to hammer in his ears. ]
( he'd thought they would always be together. the only two souls in the entirety of the universe meant to be tied as closely together as they had been then and he still thinks that, even if there's a whole hell of a lot of mending to do, more on his part than vash's, because everything that had driven them apart had been his fault to begin with.
like this, it's easy to think that they're always going to come back around to one another, whether they're consciously aware of it or not. like this, aligned near-perfectly from shoulder to hip with wandering hands and lips pressed to lips, it's easy to forget that they had ever been apart for so long in the first place.
vash might try to temper that moan when it comes out of him, and it might not be as loud or as full as nai realizes he desperately wants to hear but it slithers beneath the surface of his skin anyway, makes a home for itself in his blood and sets it to near-boiling. something so small, and still something he hadn't had before, and he β )
Do that again.
( given almost at the same time as fingers tangle in his hair and pull and the sound that comes out of him is more sensation than anything, still something that edges on a snarl as his fingernails drag over skin again, more sharply this time, enough to leave the lightest pink welts in their wake. his head bows, presses into the space between neck and shoulder and he bites at the beat of his pulse this time, the hand on his ass pulling him closer, or maybe just keeping him solidly in place as his own hips press upward, instinct taking over for a lack of experience.
[ What? Like he can do it on command? Something about the tone of Naiβs words however, has Vash's mouth run dry anyway even as a breathy laugh almost ALMOST leaves his mouth. He might have even had something to say about it but the sharp, painful sensation of teeth digging into his neck aborts his ability to form cohesive words. Instead, he gasps in a sharp breath of air, the grip on his brother's hair tightening, tugging but not in an attempt to pull him away.
He bites down on his own lip hard enough to draw blood, arching his neck to give Nai room where he is. It's frustrating almost, the way he's held still and made to feel the press of Nai's hips instead of seek it out himself. It's not on command, but another whine escapes from his mouth and this time its uttered right into his brotherβs ear. The welts at his hips sting, highlighting the path his brother's hands have taken over his skin where his shirt has certainly been pushed up and over scars and wounds long healed. Earlier, Vash had a mind to be self conscious about the state of his body being exposed but now he feels all too hot in the confines of his turtleneck.
Greedy. Selfish. Donβt want so much. That ugly little voice doesnβt seem to shut up despite his stubborn determination to ignore it. It wiggles around in the back of his thoughts, pushing and pressing against the heated swirls driving his actions right now. Is it selfish to want this, right now? To want it ever? To seek out these kind of indulgent, intimate touches, to feel a little smug that heβs had such a clear effect on the brother that up until now always seemed collected and determined and in control?
He shifts his flesh and bone hand from its grip in Naiβs hair, smoothing fingers over the curve at the back of his skull and down the back of his neck. He skims his hand over the line of that stupid body suit and back down over his shoulders to press his palm against the swell of his brotherβs chest, feeling the muscle there for one self indulgent moment before his touch continues to travel, down an arm, over his wrist and finally where Naiβs grip rests, pushing into skin thatβs already red from the drag of short nails. He doesnβt hesitate this time, gently guiding Naiβs hand up beyond the cloth of his top and over the expanse of skin underneath. ]
( look, it isn't like he has a whole lot of coherent thought going on in his own head at the moment, all right? not with every sound out of vash coming sweeter than the one before it, things he'd never thought he would hear and things he isn't supposed to in the first place, but he's already thinking that it's going to be a problem in the sense that he's going to become addicted to them.
addicted to him.
that whine brings another low sound out of him, an effective growl that claws its way up from the back of his throat and leaves it aching and raw on its exit, and even as vash's hand is guiding his own he's reaching to push the fabric of his shirt higher, higher still until he tug the offending fabric up and over his head. to leave him bare from the waist up, pink and silver scars and all and for a moment, nai finds himself dazed. struck dumb by the miles of pale skin in front of him that has already been marked by the presence of others.
but not by him.
it might be selfish to want this, on both their parts but he can't help the way his hands are already roaming over rough, uneven skin, breath caught in the back of his throat because look what they've done to you, my beautiful brother, look at you β but it doesn't make him any less, it doesn't take away from anything and if he stops to think about it for longer than a handful of seconds, it makes him positively feral.)
βVash.
( his next exhale is raspy, rough around the edges as he fits the fingers of both hands between the slats of his ribs, pulling him close and licking the taste of blood from his mouth, sucking at the cut on his lip to make it bleed more.) Beautiful, beautiful boyβ
My Vash.
Edited (i really need more icons where he isn't just deadass screaming sighs) 2023-09-18 20:14 (UTC)
[ There's no helping it, a hushed laugh is punched out of his lungs the moment his vision is blocked off by the removal of his turtleneck up over his head. He moves his arms to make it just a little bit easier, and once the cool air of the little mushroom hits his skin he almost immediately shivers. Skin prickles up his spine and over his shoulders, the sensation ricocheting all the way back down his arms to his hands where they hold their positions over Nai's wandering ones.
It's funny how he can feel so exposed and cold, but everywhere Nai touches feels like it's being undone, like it's being set aflame despite all logic. It's all he can do to hold still underneath his brother's piercing gaze, the intensity of it making Vash squirm a little where he's seated. But it doesn't stop there and even as Nai leans in and kisses him again, worrying that split lip in a way that makes him a little dizzy he starts talking, compliments and praise and claim—
He can't take it. If the staring wasn't enough, the words that tumble out of Nai's mouth definitely are, spilling over into too much, too embarrassing, words he doesn't deserve. Not from his brother, not from ... anyone. Vash lifts his flesh and bone hand up to press over Nai's mouth even as he shrinks back, his face flush from his ears and clear down his neck. ]
Stop, Nai that's enough. [ He pauses, taking in a deep breath and focusing on the feeling of Nai's fingers on his skin, resting over scars and ribs. He manages the smallest smile as he leans in, pressing kiss-swollen lips to the back of his own hand, ghosting where Nai's mouth should be beyond that. ] It's embarrassing.
[ He'd be a liar if he didn't admit a small part of him reveled in the praise, though. But that's his secret. Since he has the moment, however, Vash takes the opportunity to lift one of Nai's hands up with his free hand and he presses a kiss to the wrist, a little splotch left in the wake of the affection as he fits another at the heel of his palm and again further in. ]
( the words come out of him muffled, pressed to the center of vash's palm where it rests over the line of his mouth, and his brows furrow with the separation, the sudden distance between them. he wants them to be as close as they can be, as close as they've never been, at least not like this.
he lets vash move one of his hands, and the one that hasn't been claimed by a soft, sweet kiss to his wrist brings the other's own away from his mouth, linking their fingers together and, quite frankly, admiring how they look together. ) No one's ever said anything like that to you before β¦ have they?
( he doesn't like to think of how he would react if the answer happened to be yes; of course vash hasn't belonged to him since they were children, or rather they haven't belonged to each other since then, and a long, long time has passed since they were still small enough to fold themselves into a singular bed and have room to spare, spindly legs and all.
anyone else being this close, having vash like this doesn't sit well with him, but he's going to stop his line of thinking right there, because it has no place here. not when he's working on trying to mend that chasm between them.
so: ) You should know how beautiful you are. Haven't you looked in a mirror lately?
( the question is rhetorical, of course, and he tries to push his way forward enough to press the softest kiss to the column of his throat. )
Haha, Nai, what book of pickup lines have you been reading? [ It's a playful deflection, one that utilizes one of those smiles Vash is so quick to slap on his face. ] No. No one's ever said anything like that before.
[ Nai doesn't have to try very hard to reach his goal, really. Vash yields easily enough, keeping their tangled fingers together in favor of dropping his hold on Nai's other hand to settle one back on the back of his neck again. The touch of lips to skin that's usually covered gets the hair on the back of his neck to stand up on end, and a sigh to slip past parted lips.
This isn't nearly as heated as things seemed to have been tumbling towards just a few moments earlier, but it's nice. It's gentle, it's comforting. It feels a little like he's having some wish fulfillment dream, and it's so, so easy to relax and lean into it, to crane his neck just enough to make room for Nai to exist there. The pads of his fingers press into the muscle of Nai's neck, rubbing small circles there at the base of his skull and then down lower in slow, deliberately affectionate touches. He stops after a moment though, his fingers toying with something hard and small that feels attached to the strange bodysuit he's literally never seen his brother remove.
He pulls at it, only vaguely surprised when it gives and he realizes what he's found. He should have figured, considering the state of this place, that Nai's clothes were much more simple(?) than he'd thought they'd be. But, discovery aside, Vash pulls the little zipper latch down and once he can he slips bare fingers underneath the cloth to brush calloused fingers over skin he's certain he's never even seen before. ]
They make books for things like that? ( he asks ( again, rhetorically ) as he nips at the line of his brother's mouth; not sharply, barely even enough to register against the split he's inflicted himself but maybe β¦ maybe bringing the taste of blood back with it again as he pulls back, because pardon you, mister the stampede.
he's just speaking the truth, here. he has been since the beginning of all of this and while it's brought them closer, vash is right in thinking it had been so much β¦ sharper a moment before. a shade more desperate and he'd be lying to himself and vash and god himself if he tried to get away with saying it hadn't been exhilarating. that desperation, that need to have the other body close, to have and taste and test every boundary set by humanity.
because they are not human. and such rules of boundaries shouldn't apply to them, should they? but that line of thought is neither here nor there.
he nuzzles at his neck, sweetly. ) You should be told that all the time β¦ I would, given the chance. ( some might say there is some kind of hopeless romantic in this murderer of a man, and some might be right, though it never seems to quite come to the surface except for when his brother is around. funny, that.
he dips a little bit lower, attention to the shared conversation wavering in favor of mouthing over the line of an exposed collarbone, mapping out the shape of it, the feel of it beneath his lips and the sweep of his tongue, the gentlest press of his teeth that is nowhere near a bite or a nip. just a scrape, really, because sometimes he can't help himself.
it's enough to distract him from the way vash pulls at the zipper now at the back of his suit; something he'd never needed before but is keenly aware of now, and the sound of the slow, downward drag of metal teeth has him flexing his shoulders. bidding β asking vash to touch him where he never has before, where no one else has before, a quiet, infinitesimal gasp filtering up from the back of his throat at such simple contact.
in return, his tongue dips into the space between his collarbones, his teeth bearing down just enough to leave the hint of an indent that will surely fill back in before this is over β but he quickly follows suit with the suction of his mouth, bringing blood to the surface and encouraging a light purple mark to make a home for itself there. a waypoint between the places he's been, and those he hasn't been allowed to touch yet. )
[ There's an attempt to shoot his brother an exasperated look, but it honestly withers in the face of the attention he's given. At this rate, that little cut is going to leave the smallest, lightest of scars. If he thinks about it too much, the idea of that isn't necessarily a bad one, but perhaps a little embarrassing. ]
You don't have to... [ The thought of it though, lights a blush renewed across Vash's ears, his imagination running a little with the sound of his brother's voice in his ear, whispering ridiculous, embarrassing words right at the curve of it. It's not something that he would have dreamed of imagining before, but after today, after he's experienced such a gentle, soft side of his twin, it's all too easy to get caught carried away in his thoughts.
But reality is much sweeter, as it turns out. Vash would have been all too happy to focus on the sensation of lips against skin, but it's the sound that Nai makes, so startled and a little vulnerable and soft. It's something he'd never really considered when his brother came to mind, even less so when in conjunction with himself. He turns his head to press a kiss to his brother's temple, or his hair, whatever it is he can reach. Something in his chest aches a little bit, the heat of it rekindling something from before they'd taken a pause to actually talk a little.
The way Vash twists his hand free from their tangled grasp is a little hurried in hindsight, but it's followed up with a suddenly very breathy, very interested apology. Sorry, brother, holding your hand is nice but— he pulls the zipper down over where it rests over Nai's spine and ends somewhere around his mid-back. Vash doesn't check to see if it's pulled all the way down, instead, he's busy sliding his hands beyond the fabric to touch cool, pale skin with the palms of his hands.
He's so acutely aware of the imbalance of their current clothing situation as he feels the sensation of Nai worrying a bruise to his collarbone, so he curls his fingers inward, dragging his blunt nails up over freshly exposed skin back to where the body suit is now loose around Nai's shoulders. When he speaks this time, the tone of it is different. It's softer somehow, but maybe a little breathless. ]
( how sweet it would be, to leave a scar in the wake of his attentions, a physical reminder of where he's been and ( hopefully, dear god, please ) undoubtedly will be again, the way he desperately wants to map out the scarred lines of his body with lips and teeth and tongue β
well. it should be embarrassing, really. but he's never known anything close to shame, and that could very well be a plant thing β not so given to the whims and wills of mankind, as it were β but it could also be the fact that he's spent the bulk of his time secluded, and doesn't know any better.
little from column a, little from column b. that's where we're leaving it. )
I don't have to, no. But I want to.
( even in passing, when they're passing by one another in their tiny, shared space, even with wolfwood not too far away he could lean in to whisper sweetly against the shell of his brother's ear; you're beautiful, you're lovely, you look good enough to eat and perhaps it will only be because he'll find himself starving after this. willing to give in to a sense of hunger his body informs him of, though a hunger for vash seems much, much more preferable to the need to consume actual food.
( is he still bitter about that? just a little. he'll get over it eventually. )
he takes that breathy apology with a low chuckle in the back of his throat in response, having a feeling of where wandering hands are going once the zipper is pulled near the end of its track. ( the very end of it is somewhere near the top of his ass, but that's for vash to find out for himself, if he wants β )
he sighs at the first touch of fingers against cool skin, shoulders rolling and flexing beneath their light pressure and he only pulls back from the worrying of the bruise at his brother's collarbone when that request comes, and it's his turn to blink a bit owlishly at it, ice chip eyes blown wide and dark with both wonder and want.
leaning in to brush another kiss over the line of vash's mouth, he shrugs the fabric down off of his shoulders in one smooth motion, pushing it down to pool around his hips and leaning back β purposely β with something this side of a shit-eating grin pulling his mouth upward. it's all pale, unmarked skin from his neck all the way down, save for perhaps a light dusting of freckles over his chest and stomach. a constellation of tiny waypoints over a pale, otherwise unmarked canvas. )
You're going to have to get up if you want to see more.
[ Vash is content to chase after the kiss he's given, but the moment his brother leans back and flicks that smarmy, shit-eating grin over his face, Vash's own expression purses into something that's akin to an annoyed pout. It's a shame because he'd been rather curious about the sight in front of him. ]
What's that look for? Don't be annoying.
[ It's funny how easy it is to slip back into a back-and-forth that is so eerily reminiscent of how they interacted as kids. Vash leans back a little as he very blatantly takes an eyeful of the sight in front of him. He's folded his arms across his chest, fingers drumming against the skin and metal of his arms as he exhales a hum. It'd give Nai too much satisfaction to admit just how dry his mouth goes at the sight, or just how badly he wants to touch, fingers clenching against his arms in an effort to hold up his annoyed front.
He shifts in his spot, not relinquishing his spot on Nai's lap as his gaze lingers on one particular cluster of freckles that he's pretty sure he could trace into the shape of a cat's face. He's still grumpy though, so instead of anything gentle, he unfolds his arms from over his own chest to reach out towards his brother. Unceremoniously, he claps both hands against his ridiculously unmarred chest and shoves with his full strength, tipping the both of them forward and hopefully ending up with Nai sprawled on his back and Vash? On his knees, still straddling his brother's hips. ]
I don't think I have to get up at all.
[ Without moving where he's so firmly planted his hands, Vash leans in, pressing a slow but brief kiss to his twin's lips. Maybe it's an apology for the way Nai's head likely cracked against the floor of the mushroom house, but it's also a bit of a distraction as Vash shifts his body weight to slide lower, lips moving away from Nai's mouth to press another kiss to that strangely feline smattering of freckles. He flicks his eyes back up towards where he's left his brother's gaze, but painfully slowly drags his lips lower, over the curve of his pecs and pale skin. Maybe it's an intrusive thought or an attempt at making a point but it isn't long after he dusts gentle attention over what he can reach that he leans in and bites, teeth pinching skin with a laugh. ]
( nothing saying you can't still be curious about the sight in front of you, little brother, but you're the one being so transparent about wanting to see in the first place, and he's not about to let that slide.
did you think he would? and do you presently think he's going to let you get away with that pout, pretty as it is, without laying at least one more nip against the line of your mouth? ) What look? ( he ends up asking mock-innocently, bumping their noses together again. ) I've no idea what you're talking about.
( he's very suddenly gone deaf. shame, that.
but there's a low, simmering heat that makes a place for itself once more in the pit of his stomach as vash looks at him, practically drinks him in and he is going to be smug about that, though it stands to reason that his brother will have his own turn in time β or would, if he were the sort β because once nai gets him out of every stitch of clothing he has on his person, he's going to worship every single inch of him. top to bottom, bottom back up to top and everything in between, because he deserves to have the weight of caring hands on his skin.
loving hands. and in his own way, that's all nai has ever done. love him down to the marrow of his bones, even if he realizes that it's been in the wrong way. he's going to fix that. he's going to fix them β
so enraptured is he by his brother's gaze on him that it gives the younger the advantage he both wants and needs; nai does end up on his back, blink dazedly and almost owlishly up at the other as he remains upright, stunned enough to not give any immediate response, though it wouldn't have been a negative one even if he'd managed it.
he β¦ likes the view he has from this angle. still with his thighs on either side of his hips, hands pressed tight to his chest, yes β¦ he finds he doesn't mind this in the slightest.
his head might have bonked against the floor a bit, yes, but he accepts that apology* kiss for what it is and allows himself to get all wrapped up in the feeling of those soft lips moving lower, mapping him out as he wants to, in turn, and ends up so deliciously distracted that the bite brings a startled almost squawk out of him, especially with that laugh. you little β )
Gremlin.( he breathes, but it isn't a hiss, and it sounds strangely affectionate. a word they'd learned from one of the many storybooks rem had read to them as children, this one in particular describing a playful, impish sort of thing that may or may not be trusted. his eyes narrow, but it's nothing but playful. )
[ Later, maybe, when he has time to think through the events of the afternoon that lead to this, the events that this is all leading to, he might give thought to just how different things between the two of them seem to be unraveling already. He's not certain when the last time he felt comfort around his brother rather than a tense thrum of foreboding. He much prefers this, even if it almost feels too good to be true.
Like he's going to wake up back on Noman's Land, with the dust and the heat and he's going to scream. But he very purposefully tears his thoughts away from that, his expression dropping only momentarily before it's replaced again with something for Now.
The chuckle Nai's reaction gets out of him is definitely impish, the sound colored by the way he tilts his head to one side, the mess of blond locks on his head flopping with the motion. The expression on his face makes the corners of his eyes crinkle, the finest of lines dusting across the bridge of his nose in the same way. It's little things like these that those sunglasses so easily tuck away and keep private, little micro-expressions that he's so prone to having. ]
Mm. Maybe. [ He's never had this kind of advantage before over his brother. He thinks for a moment, letting his hands slide lower over the taught muscles that make up his brother's torso, and lower still over the ones that lead down over his abdomen. This way, his hands are practically resting where his legs straddle Nai, the half-discarded body suit already tangled there too. ] You started it.
[ As if to make a point he very carefully, pointedly arches his neck to expose the bite mark that's bloomed over his neck (even though he hasn't seen it, he knows it's there), the purple splotch at his collarbone only a short distance away. It's only fair, if he gets to make his own mark. He'll even be generous and keep it to one (for now) considering that Nai's skin is so pristine. But what he does do is shift down, possibly not quite as gracefully as one could, but close enough— and he presses another kiss to his brother's stomach, above his navel, just where the muscles swell then dip down.
It's his hands that are mischievous this time, gliding over the lines of Nai's hips, fingers curling into and tugging at that stupid, half-unzipped body suit. His lips find soft skin just above fabric and he presses a very pointed kiss there, teeth dragging over the spot like he's trying to see what kind of new, exciting reaction he can garner. ]
( how quickly things have become between them may or may not be because of this place> itself, but if he's perfectly honest, he's not sure that he cares too much about finding out the exact root of the now sprawling path in front of them. where before it had all been so narrow β again, because of all the things he had done β they have more room to move, to maneuver around one another without something else getting in the way. without there being so much tension.
perhaps this place isn't so terrible, after all. even if he's still learning his way around being human. it isn't something he thinks he's likely to ever get truly used to.
he reaches up to thread pale fingers through golden hair when his brother's head tips to the side, as that laugh comes out of him; it's one more reason to touch him, really, without there needing to be a reason behind such a simple thing in the first place, but then β¦ vash had always been the tactile one, hadn't he? so easy and open with his affection toward himself and rem that there had been enough physical touch to go around for the three of them combined.
he's learning that he likes the simplicity of touch. fingers in hair, the brush of knuckles over skin warmer than his own. the press of lips against lips that he has already found he doesn't want to go without, now that he's gotten a taste of them.
and even with all this softness, it doesn't keep him from clicking his teeth in the other's direction. not sharply, or threatening by any means. he's playing in his own way. ) Does that mean you intend to finish it?
( the question comes out of him in a lower rumble than his voice had been a moment earlier, eyes already gone hooded and a shade or two darker in the interim. his gaze passes over the mark at his neck, the one at his collarbone and shifts into something possessive, because yes, i did that, those are the marks of my teeth and they belong on you.
and yes, fair is fair, in the long run. vash is more than welcome to leave his share of marks across the canvas that is his brother's body if he wants. he'll find no complaints here.
the kiss above his navel makes his stomach muscles tighten, tense beneath the press of his mouth but it isn't out of any measure of discomfort; more to the point, it's in anticipation that he watches every little minute shift of movement as vash maps out the lines of him, fingers dipping beneath fabric and exposing more of him with each passing second, and there is no denying the way he pushes slightly upward into the drag of his teeth.
a small sound catches in the back of his throat, and it's not quite a moan, but ir's getting there. ) You're teasing. ( it's supposed to sound accusatory β¦ but it comes out just this side of breathless. )
[ There's something so, so satisfying about dragging a sound like that out of his brother, to hear the breathless tone of his voice and to know that he is the reason Nai's struggling to maintain the composure he so often has. He pushes back at that upward motion of his brother's body, watching the way muscles tense beneath perfect, unmarred skin (well, unmarred save for where he'd bit earlier at least) It makes him feel a little smug, a little proud, and a little pleased with himself. Is he teasing? Yes, but really, unintentionally. Mostly.
Okay.
So maybe he's teasing on purpose. Who can blame him? It's thrilling to have the upper hand, even for just a moment. Especially for something like this. Especially with someone like Nai. It makes his heart beat a little faster to know he's getting this kind of reaction out of his twin brother, the thrill of it enough to override the rumble of nerves he's been pointedly ignoring. ]
Sorry. [ He's not sorry. He does a show of ducking his face to the line of Nai's hip, almost meant to be bashful but it's just an attempt to hide the grin stretching over his mouth. He makes a point to nose over the dip of Nai's hip, peppering kisses and nips over the line that disappears behind that increasingly infuriating fabric.
Eventually, Vash has to shift his body lower, settling his body in between his brother's legs after basically almost bullying a spot for himself there. If he'd had plausible deniability before, with the way he settles where he is, there's little he could do or say to hide what his intentions are while he's down here. His hands slide down to settle at Nai's hips as he ghosts a warm breath right over the shape of what he knows is still hidden underneath that mottled jump suit.
Vash's eyes flick up from where he is, from where they're focused and fixes a heated gaze on his brother. Nai had been feeling playful before, but Vash wonders what thoughts are running through his head now. It's the lightest touch when his mouth drags over that skin tight suit and his eyes only briefly (shyly) glance away from where he keeps it locked on what he can see of Nai's face. There's a lot of confidence in his posture and actions, but it isn't as though this is something he's done before. It's still new, unexplored territory. ]
( unintentional or no, teasing is as teasing does β maybe that was funnier in narration's head, but we're leaving it, so you're going to have to deal with it; any teasing vash might give over now will most undoubtedly be given back to him once nai has the chance to reciprocate even a little, and if he stops to think about it β¦ he might just wonder how their positions ( both figurative and literal ) had been flipped so quickly. so easily.
( oh, how the turns have tabled, mister several kitchen utensils. you reap what you sow, et cetera, et al. )
the very fact that it's thrilling for vash to have the upper hand like this is. well. perhaps thrilling for them both, because if he's perfectly honest? it's a good look on his brother; golden skin flushed against the paleness of his own, the way he ducks his head to hide his grin is almost infuriating, but it's really more endearing than anything else, and if the fingers in his brother's hair tug a bit more sharply at that apology than strictly necessary. hm. have you forgotten who you're dealing with? )
You are not. ( he finally says out loud, breath hitching with each press of lips to exposed skin, the promise of something more always at the edge of everything, and he's sure by the end of it he'll have gone completely mad with how badly his twin makes him want.) Don't lie to me. You've always been awful at it.
( a truth he'll gladly give over, even though it does nothing to get him anywhere near to having the upper hand again; he swallows, throat just short of audibly clicking with it as vash's mouth teases over the shape of him over the cover of fabric, fabric that may leave little to nothing to the imagination as far as they've gotten, because there is no denying that he is β¦ intrigued.
that's putting it mildly, of course. a few desperate, sweet kisses and bites already have him almost achingly hard and wet between his thighs, and if it were anyone else, he might feel a little bit bashful, embarrassed for wanting this much. but because it's vash?
the sound he lets slip this time is nothing short of a moan. rough and grating and abbreviated because he catches himself, yes, but there nonetheless. )
Vash.
( a plea without really being one, it's all the permission his brother should need to follow through with whatever he has going on inside that beautiful head of his. )
[ He hasn't forgotten who he's dealing with, but maybe, somehow the sharpness and fear that seemed to surround his brother has been blunted. The yank of his hair lifts Vash's head ever so slightly and a muttered "Oh" slips past his lips. Awful huh? Vash laughs, the sound a little more breathy than the one before it, some kind of amusement twinkling in his bright blue eyes. Nai isn't wrong. He's never been a good liar, never really wanted to be either. It was a lot easier to just not say anything, to avoid an answer that was too complicated or too dangerous.
But oh, does the sound that he manages to wrangle out of his brother does something to him. His heart beats a little faster, a little harder, the feeling of it making him a little lightheaded. They're both as human as anyone else here is right now, so perhaps it's with a little earned dexterity and determination that he's able to pull the rest of that fabric down and over his brother's hips, shuffling a little to discard that stupid bodysuit off somewhere else in the tiny main room of the mushroom house with much less care than his own glasses had been given.
There's a moment where he just stares, eyes darkening with unhidden want and desire he hadn't really given a second thought before today. Perhaps it was something else entirely before a little while ago, before their lips had been on each other and Vash had felt something with in him tug him sharply towards the one person in the world he was already forever tied to. But that doesn't matter right now, not when they've so clearly stumbled into this together. Vash finds what he wants to focus on is right in front of him. What he sees in front of him is just as familiar as it isn't, they're twins, and while so much is different it's also the same.
When Vash settles back where he was he turns his face to press a kiss to more pale skin, this time along the inside of his brother's thigh. ]
Nai?
[ It's permission but also Vash feels like pressing for a little more, needling, angling for Nai to voice what he wants. Another kiss is pressed further up, one of Vash's hands settling against Nai's leg while the other drags the backs of his knuckles over the hard length of his twin's cock. More teasing, more flirtatious touches—but Vash has never really been mean and especially not to his brother. He can't really, truly keep it up for too terribly long. Flesh and bone fingers finally finally slip lower, gliding over where Knives is already wet.
Vash finds himself biting down on that same abused spot on his lower lip, absently splitting the angry flesh again as he strokes fingers over folds and spreads that wetness up and over the rest of him to make it easier for his hand to slide up over the (frankly intimidatingly large) size of him and back down. The touch of it is deliberate and purposeful as he watches Nai from his higher vantage point, to drink in the reactions he so desperately wants to see. ]
( there is no forgetting what he's put them through β what he's put vash through, at the bottom of it all β but coming to terms with his actions being the exact opposite of what he needs to bring his brother close to him again, he's actively trying to make it better. make himself better. and maybe somewhere along the way he can gather up some kind of redemption.
( he doesn't deserve a redemption arc, not really, but for vash's sake β¦ the sake of perhaps returning to how they once had been and go beyond that, he thinks he might do anything.
not that they haven't already ventured so far past how they had been before everything had fallen apart. but that goes without saying by now, doesn't it? )
he raises his hips to aid in the removal of that damned suit the rest of the way, all at once feeling overexposed and vulnerable but thinking that if there was ever anyone he knows he could trust to see him like this and not take advantage, it would be vash. it could only ever be vash and there has never been any doubt about that, though even with that revelation, he almost feels compelled to try to close his legs. shield himself, even when β
look at me. only look at me, vash.
it's dangerously possessive and he knows it, but they've been inextricably tied to one another since the moment they'd taken their first breaths, before that. before they'd even been born. it was the two of them and after that, there was nothing. he wants that closeness again so badly that he swears he can taste it.
lips against the inside of his thigh makes the heat building in the pit of his stomach simmer even higher, a shuddering breath in through his teeth that gives away so, so much more than he's letting his expression betray; it's undeniable with the evidence right there in front of his brother, how hard he is, how slick he is from just a few kisses and scattered touches and yes, having never been touched like this by his own hands much less another's has much to do with it, the bulk of it β¦
it's vash.
his cock twitches against the flat of his stomach when the other's knuckles graze over him, breath catching sharply in the back of his throat and even before that touch moves downward to collect his own wetness on the pads of slender fingers, his moan betrays him where his expression had remained mostly firm. mostly.
low and rough, raw with the depth of it nai peers down the length of his own body, pupils blown wide and dark and almost glassy with want. he swallows hard, the fingers that had been tugging at his brother's hair slipping down to brush over his split lip, thumb pressing over the cut itself. )
Touch me? ( finally comes out of him, though instead of a demand it's more of a question, another plea without the actual please, and he absently sweeps his tongue over his own bottom lip as though it might return some measure of moisture to his bone dry mouth.
it does not. ) Don't justβ
( here he is, big bad millions knives practically begging for his brother to touch him properly. ) Stop teasing.
[ There's so little experience between the two of them, though Vash is almost certain he somehow has more than his "elder" brother. Nights with his hands between his own legs were so few and far between, but enough to give him a little guidance now that he's found himself in this absolutely improbable situation. His brother all but begs for more and that shoots heat straight down to what's already straining in his own pants, soaking his underwear almost uncomfortably. But he's so quick to push all that aside and give instead; a habit that he's not easily pulled out of, clearly. Especially when Knives looks at him like that. Especially when Knives sounds like that.
He turns into the press of Nai's thumb to his lip, pressing a soft kiss to the pad of it before he leans away and in one smooth motion gives Nai what he's asking for. His mouth finally finds the core of his heat, the flat of his tongue swiping up over the folds of his pussy.
Like this, gaze focused on what he's doing, Vash's nose bumps against the base of Knives' cock, grinding over the sensitive skin as Vash does his best to pay attention to the rest of him, wastes no time in letting one touch of his tongue glide up higher, his mouth gone again just as quickly as he dives back towards his original goal. He's quick to avoid letting any part of his brother feel neglected, the fingers of one hand wrapping around him and dragging up over the size of him and back down in a motion he's found works for him at the very least.
He has to come up for air eventually, though. ]
Blue, huh...? [ It's a little funny he'd be remarking on the color, especially considering that as he does he drags his lips against Knives again, his hand still languidly stroking over him. Honestly, considering the pleased cat-caught-the-canary look on his face, there's a couple of pegs he needs to be knocked down from. ]
( maybe it wouldn't have surprised him to know that his brother had more experience than he does, if only because he seems more in touch with anything physical; it's been said before that vash has always been the more tactile of the two, and if that ends up meaning that he's more in tune with his own body than nai is. well.
that's just how the pieces fall, isn't it?
he doesn't want vash to push his own pleasure aside, a thought lingering somewhere in the back of his mind that he wants to explore just as much as the other is, now, given the chance. he wants to touch, to taste, to map out the lines of him with lips and teeth and tongue and fingers and if he is already aching as much as he is now, vash has to be much the same, doesn't he?
is he as hard as he is? wet as he is?
the thought alone is enough to drag another muffled sound from the back of his throat, something that ends up even more strangled and almost pained as his brother's tongue finds his core, his center and he would hate how needy it makes him seem if he had enough functioning braincells left to care.
his thighs tense again, spreading even further apart of their own accord as if to invite vash closer than he already is, and damn everything, the next sound out of him might as well be a whine for how strained, how thin it is.
blue, huh?
that whine turns into a growl that catches just behind his teeth, something just this side of rough because how are you commenting on something like that? now? but he supposes it's not entirely out of context, because they've never had a chance to explore each other's bodies like this.
he clicks his teeth, though there really isn't any heat behind it, especially when it's accompanied by a subtle upward roll of his hips, unconsciously seeking out the heat of his brother's mouth. )
Is itβ that surprising? ( he's β¦ almost panting, but he can't let vash just make a comment without following up with something of his own, even if there isn't a whole lot of ammunition in his arsenal at the moment. fingers thread back through blond strands and pull hard at the end of his question, more to make a point than anything else, because he does not want to pull him away from the core of his heat by any means.
nails drag over his scalp, the back of his neck, sharply enough to leave marks against his nape in their wake. )Vash, I wantβ
( he tries very, very hard not to sound so needy when the words come out of his mouth, but it's anyone's guess whether or not they actually do. )
I want to feel you, too. ( he doesn't say come here just yet, but it's there on the back of his tongue even as his nails scrape again. he's trying to be patient, to let his brother take his time and do what he wants, but he's also more than a bit of a selfish bastard and wants what he wants. when he wants it. )
Haha, maybe just a little. You're amazing. [ Beautiful. Perfect. A much better array of words for someone like Knives than someone like him. It goes unsaid though as Vash drinks in each sound, each subtle movement, parting of his thighs, each gasp he's able to coax from his brother.
Someone who isn't as familiar with Knives might find the state he's currently in strange, alarmingly vulnerable and unlike him. But Vash knows better. Even after over a century of being separated, pushed to opposite sides of a moral question, Vash feels as though he can read his brother better than he ever could before. Perhaps it's just for him that Knives is easy like this, he's always been different with him than with anyone else. Perhaps it had been why Vash never really wanted to give up, wanted so desperately to get him to see things from his perspective. ]
You will. [But not yet. Is the simple answer, though the way Vash watches his brother is intense in a way that is deeply observant, even as nails drag down over his scalp and neck. He's like a cat, arching into the touch and the pain of it, a breath exhaled past his lips. He doesn't move to leave where he is though, despite the implication in words left unsaid by his twin. Instead, his mouth finds the head of his cock, previously intense gaze drooping to something half-lidded as he swirls his tongue over the tip and slides more of him into the warmth of his mouth.
One hand rests against the inside of Knives' thigh, the thumb of it pressing soothing circles into the skin there as he takes a minute to breathe in deep through his nose. Maybe in a way, the touch is meant to soothe his own nerves as much as it's meant to for his brother, the way his stomach rumbles with butterflies and electric zings. He's heard the sounds Knives is making, he's almost certain that what he's doing is being enjoyed, but there's that little bit of uncertainty. It has him lifting his gaze to watch again as he finally starts to bob his head in achingly slow motions.
Vash slides cool prosthetic digits lower, circling around his hole but not quite pushing in, not at first. Not yet. He figures it might be a little overwhelming, a little too much. But even as he watches Knives carefully, there's a wordless question in his gaze, mouth clearly too occupied to voice it. ]
so. maybe rem had been very, very liberal with letting her boys know how proud she was of them all the time, how perfect they were regardless of how they turned out with regard to their status as independents β but that sort of praise coming from vash sets his blood on fire to the point that it catches him so off-guard he forgets to breathe for a handful of seconds. long enough to find his lungs burning with it, and his next inhale carving a path through him almost painfully.
( that's something else he's had to get used to; pain and all things adjacent, the bulk of which he'd experienced when he'd first refused to eat until his brother had shoved food into his mouth, but this is something else entirely, something that he thinks he's quickly going to become addicted to, and alongside everything else pertaining to vash β¦
it's a very dangerous problem to have. )
you will, he says, though he doesn't believe it's going to be anytime soon, not with the mischievous light in his eyes and the way he seems to content to keep right on doing what he's doing; it wouldn't be so overwhelming, he thinks distantly, if he had any measure of experience even with his own body, but since he hadn't really thought to bother before now every single touch from his brother's hands and lips and tongue already find him teetering on the edge of too much, not enough, and it's dizzying in the sense that vash has barely even touched him.
again, it sould be embarrassing, really. but since it's only the two of them and he's never known what it is to feel shame, that sort of thing is off the table.
he tries to say something in response to the last words out of the other's mouth, tries to get something in edgewise but he doesn't have a chance. not when the heat of his mouth is suddenly engulfing his cock and the sound startled out of him isn't quite a moan so much as β¦ almost a cry, sharp and abbreviated with the next hitch of his breath and the way his hips stutter to keep from pushing further. deeper.
one hand stays curled around the back of vash's neck while the other combs through messy blond hair, just for something to do because he can't remain completely idle, fingertips brushing sweetly, reverently over the beat of his pulse, thumb seemingly absently grazing over the earring he'd given him for their birthday.
there's barely a sliver of color left in his eyes when he catches vash's gaze again, the thinnest ring of icy blue surrounding deep, endless black and he's unconscious of the way his thighs seek to spread even wider for him, to bare even more of himself for his brother, as if he didn't already belong to him completely in this moment.
and every other, but that's neither here nor there. ) You'reβ (perfect. wonderful. lovely. mine β
his inner muscles twitch around nothing and suddenly he feels achingly empty, slick coating prosthetic digits where they tease but go no further, and he wants so badly that he's dripping.) God, Vash, you're unbelievable.
[ It's incredibly self satisfying to know he's the reason his brother is coming to pieces right now. If Vash were the type, he'd probably feel smug knowing the fact that it's his mouth and his hands that have his brother nearly begging in front of him, legs spread open in a way that Vash KNOWS no one else has had him. It's what has him racing down this path to pull whatever sound he can manage from Knives' throat, and he's only rewarded for his efforts by every little gasp or whimper or moan. The best part, though, is the praise. It makes sense that that seems to be something that the both of them enjoy.
To be honest, it's the small touches that are the most encouraging, the soothing presence of familiar fingers at his pulse, the encouraging sensation of fingers carding through his hair. Vash exhales a hum around where his mouth is currently busy, each slide of his lips overheated skin getting more and more bold, a little more of him disappearing into his mouth before he slides up again. He feels Knives' dick hit the back of his throat, and for a moment it takes effort not to gag around him. It certainly puts a stutter in his rhythm as he takes a moment to breathe and another to look up at his brother like some kind of check-in.
He's absolutely certain that the look he sees on Knives' face is one he wants to see again, if he's let to.
He's not going to tease Knives forever, either. Though he doesn't directly ask for it, it's almost like Vash understands anyway. Maybe it's because they're twins, in tune with one another in a way literally no one else in the universe is. Or maybe it's because from where Vash is, where his fingers are currently playing, there's no denying the reaction that he's getting from is dear "elder" brother. He slips two fingers in where Knives' body is busy clenching around nothing, prosthetic digits pressing against hot, wet walls as Vash makes an effort to curl them in just the way he knows feels the best when he's done it to himself.
Distantly, he wonders if he can get his brother to come while they're like this, his mouth and hands doing their best to wring Knives dry. It would be worth it to try, to give at LEAST that much. It gives him a goal to reach before he might give in to Nai's earlier request. ]
( if he's perfectly honest with himself β really, truly honest β he doesn't think there could ever have been another that could get him like this. there could never be another that could even hope to try and, again, that's a line he's crossing with the thoughts of human boundaries, but they're there all the same, and there really is no coming back from them, is there?
whatever vash wants to pull from him, sound or reaction or some measure of both, they're only ever going to be his. for the taking, for the keeping because he doesn't want anyone else to have them. because what they have here is something nothing and no one else can touch, and he intends ( hopes, prays, please ) to keep it that way.
the praise going both ways β¦ it surprises nai more than it surprises vash, it seems. but then, he hasn't heard anything like it since rem, has he? since she'd called them both her perfect boys.
( he doesn't deserve it and he knows it. but. that's neither here nor there. )
you want to see him like this again? you don't even have to ask β
because even where knives' own plea falls short, asking but not, begging but not, vash fills in the spaces between his words like fingers parsing out braille; he knows what he isn't saying without him even having to hint at more, and when those two prosthetic fingers press inside him, when they curl he nearly doubles over. nearly pulls himself as tight as a plucked bowsting, that mouth around him and those fingers inside him wringing his pleasure from him as though it wasn't his to give in the first place, but vash's to mold as he sees fit.
he isn't going to last like this. he isn't going to last and he hates the thought of it, because vash hasn't let him touch and he wants to touch so badly that he sobs out his next moan, breath hitching and cutting into his throat like something tangible. bleeding on its exit. )
Vash.
( his teeth grit around his name, a snarl more than anything else, fingers pulling at his hair and pressing harder into the column of his throat in turn, even as his hips give a traitorous buck upward.
baby brother β¦ you are going to be the death of him. you know that, don't you? )
[ He knows. Maybe he always has known. But that's a secret he's going to carry to the grave, selfishly keeping that knowledge to himself for use whenever he wants it. It's so addicting, sitting where he is, with the view he has. The way his brother clenches around his fingers and strains to keep his hips still more than enough to make Vash ache in his pants.
It's a need he's pretty sure he hasn't felt before, a want to drive his brother past that last thread of control... He's certain he's nearly there when Knives almost doubles over, his pants turning into hitched moans. It's really all the encouragement he needs to double his efforts, fingers gliding over that same spot again and again. He's so wet that the sound of it is practically obscene.
But as determined as he is there's only so much ignoring he can do when it comes to the pressure and pain of having his hair pulled like that, especially when it's coupled with a press of fingers into his throat that make him a little light headed. Even with the buck of Knives' hips Vash eventually decides to relent, shifting a little to give in to what's being practically growled at him. He drags his tongue and lips over Knives one last time before his lips part from his dick with a wet sound, his hand following the motion with careful strokes.
This direction of events might be what Nai wants, but the amused expression on his face makes it clear that He can tell just what kind of effect he's had on Knives' body. Maybe it's a little shit eating, the heated, blown eyed expression he fits on Nai now that he's no longer making an attempt to swallow his older brother whole. ]
Nai...? [ A question he doesn't really need an answer to because he already knows. His voice is hushed, a little rough, and practically rumbling with interest as he breathes in a deep breath. He smooths both hands over Nai's inner thighs, thumbs pressing into muscle in what should hopefully be a little soothing. ]
( there could never be anyone else to see him like this, could there? it's been mentioned before and will undoubtedly be mentioned again that there is no one else he would trust to see him like this, have him this vulnerable beneath their hands, their mouth, their eyes.
the way vash looks at him β¦ it's an addictive thing in its own right, not only because no one else has ever looked at him like that, but because he wants his brother's attention angled in his direction always. look at me, always look at me, vash, please β
his twin pulls off of him and the sound that comes with it is obscene to say the very least of it; it leaves nai shaking, he already had been, yes but now his whole body may very well be trying to shake itself apart for how he's trying to keep his composure, to hold himself together until he gets something very, very specific he wants from his brother.
the mismatched hands smoothing over the insides of his thighs are soothing, of course they are, but before he can give over even a reasonable facsimile of a response he's reaching for the waistband of vash's pants to haul him upward by it; fingers work at button and zipper and all at once he's delving beneath whatever layers await him, seeking out the hard length of his cock and the slick heat of his cunt at the same time. greedy, now that he doesn't have to think too much about whether or not he's allowed.
he pushes the other's pants down until he's mostly revealed to him, stroking over the length of him with one hand, lining them both up to grin up against him at the very same moment the fingers of his other hand seek to press inside him, two at once as he'd done, mimicking the inward press and the curl when he finds the spongy bump of something interesting. )
I told youβ ( he pants, whines, growls against the line of his mouth all at once. ) I wanted to feel you.
( however you thought this was going to move forward, if it wasn't this, it's going to have to wait. you're patient, aren't you vash? patient enough to let his inexperienced hands seek to wring your pleasure from you, as you have his from him? )
Edited (using the same fucking icon again DO NOT PERCEIVE ME) 2023-10-02 06:24 (UTC)
[ He's just a little startled, honestly, by being hauled up by the hem of his pants. It leaves him scrambling just a little bit, his hands flying up to clap down onto the floor on either side of his brother's head to avoid knocking their foreheads together uncomfortably.
He's barely registering what's happening to his pants before Knives' hand is down them. ]
Nai, Wai— [ His voice catches sharply in his throat, the words choked back in favor of a strangled gasp that melts into a moan uttered into Knives' mouth. It's overwhelming, too much, way too much all at once. He's barely adjusted to the feeling of Nai's hands on him, the feeling of their cocks sliding together before his own handiwork comes back to haunt him. If he'd been standing, his knees might have buckled. As it is, one hand slides between them to settle overtop the one pressing into him.
Wanted to feel him? Vash distantly thinks that he's more than accomplished that as another sound is practically panted into Nai's mouth, his body arching to rock his hips back onto those intruding fingers. If he wasn't so certain his gaze was full of his brother's own intense stare, he'd be sure he was seeing stars. He'd ignored the ache between his legs rather well in favor of focusing on his brother's pleasure, but now that the tables have turned and those hands are wringing sounds out of him it's like the carefully maintained and watched fire in his belly has raged into an entire forest fire. It's so so much but Vash realizes as he tries to figure out how best to meet his brother's touch, it's also not enough. Not nearly enough. ]
Nai, please...right there- it's— [ He can barely think to form a full sentence, so instead he leans in to claim his brother's lips in a hungry, heated kiss that's all teeth and tongue if he's granted permission. It's another way of pleading, begging, encouraging Knives to do more, press harder. ]
( there is a distant part of him that realizes he should take his time β because vash deserves that much, at the very least β but that even greedier part of him that's finally slithered its way to the surface has sunk its claws deeply into the whole of him, the core of him, whispered sweetly in his ear that he's wanted this for so long without even realizing it, what's the harm in pressing a little farther, a little faster than he likely should?
( it doesn't sound like vash is complaining, at any rate. everything beyond that initial bitten-off plea to wait has been replaced with the sounds of his want, his arousal on top of the way his body responds to his touches, and he'll be damned β as if he hadn't already been, but that is not the point β if his brother isn't still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen take a breath. )
as much as the other's previous smugness had looked more at home in his expression than nai thinks it should have been ( because honestly, control is an attractive look on you, little brother ), the way he seems to fall apart for him at the simplest things is just one more tick-mark in the addiction column; the way that hand settles on top of his own, holding it there, like he has any intention of pulling it away, the way his body trembles with every inward press of his fingers, or the slotting of their bodies together. it's a heady thing, and he's already found himself dizzy from it, drunk off of it even before vash gives over the one word that means he could never deny him anything.
please.
as if he would.
he presses down hard against the little bundle of nerves inside him again, almost gently massaging with the tips of his fingers as he seeks to maintain some measure of a rhythm in his lazy upward grind, the movement of his hips keeping their lengths sliding against one another and aiding the inward press of digits.
his tongue curls behind the sharp points of his brother's teeth, encouraging more, whatever he wants to give and take for himself. it's all too much and not enough for the both of them, and isn't that just par for the course? ) βHere?
( he manages a tease, now pressing hard against that little spot with an added obscene roll of his hips. as much as he's trying to feign control on his end, his next words come out almost hushed, a plea of his own. ) Words, little brother. I need you to use them.
[ This isn't the first time Vash has felt his body race towards this particular finish line, but it is the first time anyone or anything but himself and his own hands have done it. It's also been a while—years maybe, since he'd felt the inclination or desire to. Maybe that's why he feels so sensitive now? It's certainly a question on his mind as he focuses on the heated ache curling low in his stomach. To think that it's Nai that's pulling these noises out of him like he's spending the afternoon playing the piano is embarrassing.
His brother's voice pulls his thoughts outward and Vash whimpers against his mouth. Words? Use his words? How the hell does Knives expect him to use his words when he can barely think straight? Tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes and it takes so much more effort than he thought it would to push himself up with his one free hand, his back arching into each roll of their hips in the meantime. He only half-heartedly smacks his fist down against his brother's chest in response, his lower lip sticking out ever so slightly. ]
You— It's not so easy to think when-
[ He's so SO close, and it should be obvious based on the way his walls squeeze around Nai's fingers, the pleasure and pressure building with every stroke and press of those digits. The sound of just how wet he is, the pounding of his heart hammering in his ears, the sound of Nai's breathing, all of it is overwhelming, making it harder for Vash to think about anything other than chasing after that heat building in his gut. Each time Vash thinks he's pulling in a breath to speak another gasp or moan tumbles out instead and he settles a hazy-eyed look on his brother as he clenches his free hand, nails digging sharply into pale skin. The next roll of their hips that drags their cocks together is enough to push him over the edge from which he'd been so precariously dangling.
He practically buries his face in the crook of his brother's neck, teeth sinking into skin in an effort to keep from making so much noise. The force of it is almost certain to leave a mark, and later he might even apologize for it. But not right now.
He'd just been resting his hand over Nai's before, but now with muscles taught and his body still zinging, he tightens his grip to stop Nai from moving his fingers any more, his hips arching jerkily away from a touch that's pressing against now too-sensitive parts of him. Still, he's self-conscious, more than a little aware that he may very well have come before his brother even had a chance to. ]
( this might not be the first time vash has felt something like this β from another's hands, maybe β but every touch of his brother's hands and mouth had been a first for him, which means he should have been, perhaps, uncomfortably sensitive to anything that might have come after, but as it so happens he's so focused on the other's pleasure, on bringing it out of him alongside all of those gorgeous sounds that he's all but forgotten about himself entirely in the interim.
he could have already come by now, himself, but nah. narration would like to say just how delightful it is to have him hanging in pleasure limbo, even when he doesn't seem to be fussed by it at all, because vash is beautiful as he crests the wave of his pleasure and comes crashing down with it.
the threat of tears breaks across his brother's lashes like tiny constellations and he has half a mind to press his lips to them, to brush them away with kisses but he holds himself back from it, just on the off-chance that it isn't a welcome thing. that it isn't something vash wants attention drawn to.
instead, he gives over a low, rumbling chuckle that filters up from the very back of his throat as those words finally come forward, and if his fingers press just a bit harder against that spot inside him, they absolutely do not. he's not that much of a sadist β¦
( and if you believe that, something-something-time-share-in-bermuda-something-something. ) )
You get one free pass. ( he finally says instead, voice gravel-rough on the back of his tongue, thick with arousal. there's an implication in that, though, like it's going to happen again, and the thought of it alone thrills him more than he'll ever admit to.
he watches vash's pleasure flicker across his face until he presses it into the crook of his neck, until he bites and nai growls with that, too, the vibration resonating deep in his chest and filtering upward until only the very end of it is what loses itself in the air between them. heated and belonging not to himself, but his twin, much like everything else in this moment isn't his own.
nai's cock twitches against the other's own as he comes, a sound catching in the back of his own throat that comes eerily close to a whimper, but he'll be denying that until he takes his last breath; it's not like anything else he's ever had the chance to witness before, the gorgeous way his brother's body bows beneath the weight of his pleasure, of his orgasm, and he goes so far as to nuzzle into a tanned, scarred shoulder as vash's hips arch away from his hand, and at the very least he has the decency to not press further.
yet.
but something compels him to bring that hand upward, to take in the way his fingers glisten with the evidence of his pleasure, of his release, and something deeper compels him even more to bring that hand to his lips and lick at the tips of his fingers. the taste of him is sweet, heady, dizzying and before he realizes he's done so he's licking his fingers, his palm, his wrist clean with a low moan that sounds all at once pleased and β¦ just a little bit empty.
he'll realize there's still an ache in the pit of his stomach soon. but not right this second. )
[ For a minute, it's all Vash can manage to do to focus on his breathing and the thudding of his heart in his own ears as he slowly climbs down from his orgasm. He feels a little bit like a bundle of wet noodles, and hiding in the crook of his brother's neck, with his mouth worrying his own little bruise against pale skin is all too alluring. He almost doesn't realize what, exactly, Nai is doing until he groans like that, and Vash's attention is caught. Wide blue eyes watch as Nai cleans his hand off and each passing moment re-lights something new in his gut. Not that he'd ever admit it. ]
Nai! [ He lifts a hand to pinch at the meat of Nai's chest, not a nipple but somewhere a little less sensitive. He's so embarrassing, Vash feels like his face is on fire, a far deeper red settling on his cheeks and his ears than it has in the last however long it has been that they've been like this. He looks almost petulant, flushed and still breathing a little hard. But it's when he shifts his body in his brother's lap and he feels the hard length of him slide against the parts of him that are still so sensitive that it makes him hiss— that Vash realizes he's more or less left his brother behind. ]
Wait... you're still hard. [ Vash's expression pinches, fingers immediately soothing the place he'd abused on Nai only a moment or two before, a sudden embarrassment flushing his skin clear down to his own chest. ] I'm sorry, I should've...
[ He chews on his lower lip again, that same bruised and split spot, tongue pushing into the split absently as the cogs in his brain turn. He's still a little noodle-y if the way he moves and wavers is any indication but it doesn't stop him from sitting up and pushing back to settle his hands on his brother's thighs. He doesn't wait to clarify or even explain, and he certainly doesn't give Nai a chance to ask or to stop him. He gives his hips an experimental roll, his grip tightens on Nai's thighs painfully, nails digging into skin as his body throbs, still sensitive and so wet. It makes it a little easier the second time, grinding Nai's freshly slicked length over his folds. Vash isn't exactly hard himself, but he certainly seems to be working himself up with each movement he makes. ]
( he likes the feel of vash tucked into the crook of his neck, the weight of his body pressed down into his own, and he's pretty sure he could stay just like this for the rest of forever just soaking up the other's warmth, the glow,/i> of his coming down from his orgasm.
at least until he pinches him, and he gives a half-hearted hiss through his teeth.)What?( comes out of him, just a little petulant, nosing at any part of him he can reach from that angle. probably just a tuft of blond hair, but it's good enough for him. ) You taste goodβ you don't think I'm going to let that go to waste, do you?
( he knows that isn't exactly a fair play, but. does it matter? does he care? the answer is a very definitive no to both of those questions. they were mostly rhetorical, anyway.
his cock twitches when he says you're still hard, and maybe he is still so hard it hurts, but being so focused on vash's pleasure as he had been allows him to take some of that edge off. at least until his brother gets an idea in that foolish, selfless head of his, and whatever he might have been expecting, it isn't what he gets. )
Don't worry about me, you don't have tβ ( he tries to make some excuse, because having never experienced the undeniable euphoria of an orgasm for himself he doesn't care if he gets off or not, not really, as long as he knows vash felt good and feels good, it's enough for him.
at least, that's what he thinks until the other straightens above him and rests his hands against his thighs, until he gives that experimental roll of his hips that has nai hissing again through his teeth, his own hands coming up to rest on vash's not unlike when they'd been fighting over that stupid honey bun.
there's more to it, this time. there's the curl of his fingers against bare skin and the helpless upward press of his own hips as he seeks out the slick heat of his core, length sliding too damned easily through his folds. )
[ That's entirely unfair. And, if Vash hadn't already determined just what he was going to do, he might have been a little petulant about it. Instead, he files that little snipe away for later, and he ignores the way the thought of it makes his face flush. Of all the times to bring up something from their childhood, Knives chooses this moment?
But then, oh, then.... ]
God, huh? [ He grins a little, something warm swelling in his chest at the pitiful little whine he's able to wring out of Knives with just a few rolls of his hips. His expression is nothing short of smug, the grin lopsided, eyes hooded and dark again as his gaze flicks down from Knive's face to where their hips grind together. The sight is nothing short of obscene the head of Knives' cock peeking out with each roll of Vash's hips.
If the smug way he looks pleased with himself wavers with a jerk of his hips, no it doesn't. His hips definitely don't still a little as he catches his breath, steadying the way the feeling of it has just made him more wet, his efforts to tease his brother slowly up the same hill he'd climbed earlier clearly doing more than just driving Knives a little crazy. ]
It's just me, brother. [ Knives doesn't need to worry about anything other than the way this is making him feel, Vash's grip on his brother's thighs tightening as he relies on where his hands are to keep himself upright. His breaths are carefully measured, but nothing short of panting despite every effort he's made to keep it steady. ]
"Use your words," right? Isn't that what you said?
( what do you mean? it's entirely fair; every single thing about this is fair because he is the most fair individual in the known world and he would never, never use something to his advantage just because he could.
and if you believe that β¦
but. all right. all right, it really isn't fair when vash finds a rhythm with every roll of his hips and it really is obscene, watching the way his slick coats him more with each pass, how he glistens more and more between his thighs in a way that makes nai want to taste him at his source, and maybe he'll do that later, when he can focus on something that isn't solely how his brother is moving against him like he was meant to do nothing else.
he might have forgotten his own pleasure in lieu of focusing on vash, and he doesn't regret that. but it really isn't going to take a genius to figure out how far gone he is now that the focus is back on him, if the next sound out of him is any indication. it's not quite a whimper, not really, but it's dangerously close to it.
he shivers at the word brother, hands smoothing up and over vash's hips in an attempt to find a hold there, thumbs brushing over the rise of hipbones. )Gremlin.( he practically growls, but there's no heat to it at all. not a single drop of it as he searches for the words he wants to say, or at least ones that might get him more.) Can Iβ please.
( he stops there, but there's another filthy upward roll of his hips that may or may not tease the head of his cock against vash's entrance, and he jolts, swallowing around another helpless sound that would be embarrassing if he had any idea what shame felt like. )
[ For all that Vash never really uses foul language, the moment Nai's hips roll up and almost, almost get them what they're both clearly angling for without any further negotiation, it will have to be forgiven if he doesn't hiss out a quiet curse that's barely bitten back.
It's no better when the word please comes out of Knives' mouth, and for once it's clear that the both of them have a weakness for the other when it comes for asking (begging) nicely. The thought of it alone sends something red hot to his core, and there's no hiding that Vash has found a second wind. Clearly, refractory periods are for... the birds? ]
Yeah. Yes. [ God, yes. For all that Vash finds he enjoys making his brother writhe and whimper underneath him, the simple implication of his brother wanting to be inside of him is eating away at his resolve to reduce Knives to a puddle just like this. He halts the roll of his hips with a stutter, one hand lifting from Knives' thigh to plant in front of him as he rises slowly up on his knees, almost like if he moves too quickly he might lose his balance.
His other hand moves to break the thread of slick as he wraps it around Knives' dick, sliding his fist over him with one smooth, purposeful pump before he makes an effort to line the length of him up with his hole. It's almost tempting to push forward, to sink down onto him without any further warning or tease, but instead Vash slips his gaze up to meet his brothers with a grin. ]
( of the two of them, surely nai is the one everyone would expect to use foul language, which makes it even better that vash is the one to let a curse slip β but we suppose it should go without saying that being able to drag something like that out of his brother in the first place is a heady, dizzying thing. where vash had been smug before, it's anyone's guess whether or not it's going to be mirrored in nai's own expression once everything is said and done, but for now β¦
he's just drinking it up along with everything else.
( refractory periods are for humans. the birds. anything that isn't them and if he ends up abusing that any time in the future β¦ heh, could you really blame him? )
vash says yes and he's breathless as he watches him move, an exhale caught on the back of his tongue that is, once again, pushed out of him in an almost-whine when fingers wrap around his length, when he lines himself up as though it would be nothing at all to sink down onto him. in one sweet, fluid motion that would see him buried to the hilt inside that gorgeous, golden body β
one of his own hands smooths over the flat of vash's stomach, unable to keep from touching him as he shifts to plant both feet flat on the floor beneath him, knees absently bumping against a very slender, very scarred back. )Yes.( he echoes, and it sounds like a plea. a prayer. something that probably has no business coming out of his mouth at all. )
Wantβ (need.) To feel you from the inside β¦ don't tease, brother, please.( ah. there it is again. he is so far gone. )
[ Why is it that please coming from his brother's mouth has Vash blushing clear down to the freckles and scars on his shoulders? Vash is struck with an intense desire to lean in and press their lips together, the pull of it having his tongue swipe over his lower lip before he sucks it in to gnaw on it with his teeth. He almost gives in until the sensation of knees against his back jolts him out of his thoughts. He laughs then, the sound of it airy and a little distracted. ]
Mm...I won't. Promise.
[ He may have teased Knives for most of this experience when he found the opportunity to, but right now, he decides to give in. There's no way, he thinks absently, he would be able to take his brother in one fell swoop, so when he moves he does so slowly. Vash lowers himself until the head of Knives' cock pushes inside, sinking into a wet heat that has Vash whimper out a moan as soon as he feels himself stretch a little to accommodate Knives' size.
He pulls his hand away after a moment, settling it instead on top of the one at his stomach like he's holding onto some kind of anchor. ]
Nai, you— [ He stumbles over his words as he sinks lower, inch by inch, until he finally bottoms out, the sensation of it a deep ache as he breathes in to try and gather some air back into his lungs, air that he's almost certain was pushed out of him. He doesn't move yet, his eyes shut tightly in this moment he's taken to more or less try not to trip himself straight over the edge again. ]
( maybe because he's never asked for anything, simply taken what he wanted in lieu of thinking of anyone, literally anyone but himself up to now and he's more than been a little humbled by his brother's touch, his kisses, every single thing that has brought them to this very moment.
( and so maybe they both have a bit of a kink for it. is it really all that surprising? if nai could get vash asking so nicely so easily it would find him so hard and dripping wet simultaneously that he might actually be a bit embarrassed by it. funny, that, coming from the one that has never known shame in his life. )
he can't help but to watch him as he moves, lifting himself up and positioning his cock against his entrance, sinking down onto him and it may not be much at all at first, may not be more than the very tip pressing inside but it's more than enough to have his thighs tensing, hands pressing into warm skin where they lie just for some measure of purchase. something to ground him, and to keep him from pressing upward too quickly.
he doesn't dare try to breathe until vash is fully seated in his lap, and the faint idea of being able to feel the very slight outline of his length inside his brother's body beneath the weight of their hands against his stomach is almost enough to make him feral; the next sound out of him is something strangled, something raw as his free hand stays curled possessively over a hipbone. tightly enough that he will undoubtedly leave the prints od his fingers behind when they finally pull away from each other.
It's overwhelming, to be surrounded, enveloped by his brother's slick heat, and where vash needs a moment or two to bully air back into his lungs just so he doesn't trip back over the precarious precipice of his own pleasure nai needs β¦ more than that. he needs to remember how to breathe, for one. he needs to not focus on how he's sure he can feel the pulse of his heartbeat in his cock every second he remains buried inside his brother without moving. he needs β )
Perfect.
( he all but chokes into the silence, meaning both vash as a whole and how he looks in that moment with his eyes so tightly shut, lips parted in shallow pants, and everything in nai aches for his twin. to be able to have him like this at all is so far beyond what he'd thought he might have been blessed with. )
[ It's too much. It's too much but... greedily, it's still somehow not enough. He's so focused on steadying his own breaths that he almost almost misses the fact that Knives seems to be holding his breath entirely—something that, back home, wouldn't have mattered but here, Vash almost feels the need to squeeze his thighs around Knive's hips like a reminder. It isn't until he feels his brother's grip at his hip that he's certain that Knives isn't just going to accidentally suffocate himself.
He's certain he'll wind up with bruises on his hip, but he doesn't care. Not when he feels like the dull pain and pressure of it feels almost as good as the way he throbs around Knives' cock. If he thinks about it too much, he's certain he won't last. Just the jolt of muscles flexing against his back rocks him forward, Vash reflexively grinding their hips together again.
Oh, god. Vash's fingers cling to the hand at his stomach, clenching as he presses Knives' hand against his abdomen, pressing that hand against the shape of him seated deep inside. Vash can't feel it with his own, but he knows it's there, all of his senses full of just Knives.
—Full of the heat of him, the sound of his voice, the way each breath sounds like it hitches every time he exhales, it's almost as if he can hear the effort Knives is making to keep himself under control. When he finally opens his eyes and looks down, the sight of him is almost embarrassing, the way he stares up at him like Vash is something to be revered. It makes Vash's skin prickle in the funniest way, almost wanting to turn invisible.
You ... are perfect. It's high praise, coming from anyone, but especially his brother, the one soul in the world that he feels the closest to. A whimper flutters past Vash's lips the moment the words hit his ears, his inner muscles clenching around Knives reflexively. He hasn't even started to move yet, and he's not sure he can, not with the way his legs shake with the effort to just keep himself still in the moment. ]
Too much, Nai. It's—I need— [ Words, Vash. He struggles to voice just exactly what he needs, but a moment later he's shifting, his hips rolling just a little, achingly slow as he tests his limits and slowly leans forward to brush parted lips against his brother's. ]
( it's too much for him, that much is more than certain with how every inch of him is already trembling, just from vash sinking down onto him fully; of course it goes without saying that he's never felt anything like this before, he's never come close to this kind of pleasure and it being from the touch of vash's hands, his mouth, the slick, tight heat of him enveloping him to the point that he's sure he's never going to be able to take a proper breath again β
that just makes it more, somehow. just. because. it's vash.
every muscle in his body has tensed, it seems; his shoulders have rounded, almost hunched forward with how he's holding onto his brother, his chest and stomach little more than hard planes of rugged terrain broken only by the smallest, stunted breaths he allows in and out of his lungs. his thighs are shaking where they're pressed almost gently against vash's back, and he may as well make himself into a statue for how he dares not to move. it's too perfect, too good, too much that he doesn't want to break whatever moment this is.
the deep breath before the fall, the calm before the storm. something like that, he thinks he might have read somewhere, but he isn't sure.
still, he can't help but to look up at him with the deepest sort of reverence, pale blue eyes gone wide and dark with his arousal and expression softened, so much that every hard line has been replaced with affection, love in the deepest sense of the word, and while it might make vash uncomfortable for his gaze to remain on him for so long, he can't. he can't bring himself to look away.
there's another moment of silence, and then vash is moving β moving and mumbling things under his breath that he can only just make out β and both of nai's own hands slip up over the marred warmth of his skin to sink long fingers into his hair as he kisses him, soft but deep, purposeful as he matches the careful roll of his brother's hips with one of his own, nothing short of a whine slithering up from the back of his throat to betray him completely. )
Words, love. Tell me what you need. ( he sucks at his split lip, not enough to see it bleeding again, but enough that he can taste the lingering tinge of it. ) I'll give you anything.(i'll give you everything. )
Just... need a minute. [ It's a quiet, whispered word, mumbled into Knives' mouth as Vash very steadily gains his self-control. He's the one in the driver's seat right now, but he doesn't plan to drive the car until he's certain he can read the dashboard and hold the steering wheel, to make this metaphor really serious. He chases another languid, lingering kiss from his brother, a soft, pleased hum pulled from him when the split of his lip zings with the smallest fraction of pain. Another roll of his hips grinds them together again and the sensation of it finally warms him rather than ricochets him towards the stratosphere.
He offers his brother one last kiss that's punctuated by a little lilting laugh. Anything, huh? He pushes himself up to his knees again, thighs straddling his brother's hips as he presses his back against Nai's legs as he drinks in the affectionate expression on his brother's face, the way he looks at him with such hunger and immediate, undivided attention. Maybe, normally, it would be overwhelming but right now it's all he wants. A moment of self-indulgence that he would only allow with Nai. He grins a little, the shape of it a little lopsided, a little mischievous. He realizes that his brother is operating a little in the dark, and that reminder is more than a little alluring. ]
Ready? [ It's all the warning Nai is going to get before Vash settles his hands upon his chest and starts to move. It's a circular grind at first, enough to tease the both of them, but then he lifts himself, his body dragging him up off of his brother's cock only to drag back down again with a flex of his muscles in a slow, achingly slow rhythm. Each arch of his hips drags Nai against the heat of him, and before long, Vash can't hold back the sounds panted past his lips. He's never been quiet when it comes to most things in his life, sex, apparently, isn't any different.
He does, however, still have it in him to keep the pace steady, slow, and purposefully teasing, pushing for more of the sweet words he's been getting from the source he's realizing he's wanted to hear them from for a long, long time. ]
( vash is absolutely, one hundred percent, without a doubt the one in the driver's seat here, because even hoping that nai has an inkling of what he's doing at this point is being incredibly generous on his part, but β¦ he's catching on, and he'll catch up in full sooner rather than later, he just needs a moment to catch his breath and make sure his head is still on straight for how deeply and thoroughly vash has knocked his world off-center.
( yes, he'd been the one to instigate this. yes, he'd been the one to kiss his brother first and encourage things to go the way they had β but this has to be the one time in his life that he hasn't thought himself twelve steps ahead and is, effectively, just flying by the seat of his pants. )
vash straightens, leans back against his legs and he makes sure to lock his knees just in case his legs decide to give out on him even though he'd given himself that leverage for a reason, and god, is he a vision. naked, scarred, beautiful in every movement he makes and every sound that climbs up from the back of his throat, and he wants to commit every single moment of this to memory. not because he wants to be able to recall it anytime he wants in case this never happens again β it will, it will, he isn't about to give this newfound intimacy up anytime soon β but because every important thing in his life, he's committed to memory, and there is nothing about this that is not important.
mapping out every inch of his brother's body. parsing out all the little noises he makes and what they mean beyond the pleasure making its way through him like tiny little strikes of lightning. what makes him moan, what makes him whimper, if he always sounds as he had the first time right before he comes β
vash asks him if he's ready, and he breathes out a stunted yes that's barely a sound at all, and he's captivated by the way he moves, even when it's only to brace his hands against his chest. life himself up.
and sink back down in an achingly slow pace, and he doesn't think of it as teasing as such until he's rocked against him so slowly a handful of times, maybe even less, because as delicious as the slow drag of his inner walls against his cock is, it brings the heat settled in the pit of his stomach to a rolling simmer and nothing more. it's not enough, even as his brother sings to him with the smallest sounds he makes.
beautiful. you're so beautiful. i am going to tell you as often as you'll let me.)
Vash. ( he whines, actually whines as he brings his hands to settle against narrow hips, choosing the very moment that his brother sinks back down onto him fully to grip him hard and grind upward just short of mercilessly. his teeth are bared, and it looks like a snarl, but it's only because he can't seem to catch his breath. )
What did I tell you about teasing? ( you heathen. you glorious, perfect heathen. you're going to drive him clear out of his mind, and you know it, don't you? )
[ It's funny, maybe, just a little just how desperate and whiny Knives seems to be. Maybe that's why Nai's merciless efforts punch a moan out of his lungs that turns into a laugh. Vash then uses it as an excuse to still his hips and refocus his efforts on his clearly needy older brother. It's the petulant tone of his brother's voice that has Vash reeling a little, a dawning realization settling in that he really, truly, has the ability to wring whatever he wants to out of Knives. If he wanted to make him beg, he probably could. For a moment, he considers it while fighting his own desire to move.
But for a moment: ]
Breathe, Nai. You have to remember to breathe. Stay with me, okay? [ It's a gentle effort to comfort, or at least it seems like it is, but the slight tilt of his head, the expression flickering over his lips and the crinkle of his eyes reveal the true nature of the playful little taunt. He's clearly being just a little cheeky, fully sliding into the understanding that he gets to drive this.
As if it wasn't at least partially clear by the fact he's got his brother underneath him for the second time since they arrived here. The first may not have been in this context, but Knives had been whiny then too. It's very interesting information that Vash thinks he'll keep to himself until moments like these when he gets to use it to his advantage. Not that, in the end, Knives isn't going to benefit also. Vash is, however, merciful. Another roll of his hips follows, grinding them together where they're connected before he sets a new, much less achingly slow pace. He's hard between them, fully recovered from having come only a short while ago. He might have been embarrassed by it earlier but now he's far more interested in chasing after the sensation of Knives' cock dragging against the deepest part of him.
He's just this side of breathless himself even as he attempts to tease his brother more pointedly, one hand sliding up from Nai's chest to touch the side of his face in a gesture that's meant to be gentle and affectionate. It's a bit of a reach, but if he angles himself just right he can still arch his hips and maintain the way he's moving while making it easier for his thumb to trace over the curve of Knives' lower lip, just playing at dragging over hidden sharp canines. ]
( of course vash is in the driver's seat here β he knows more about what he's doing than his brother does, already on the verge of overstimulation from the simplest things, the smallest things; vash's hands on him, vash's body clutching him tight, hot and wet and gorgeous and vash looking at him like he does, like he's finally figuring out where he stands in all this. realizing that he holds all the cards and decides how and when this moves forward.
nai doesn't mind, either. he doesn't mind being led or even directed when it's vash, because vash is so much more worldly than he is in more ways than he can count and especially like this, having never even come close to feeling pleasure like this before he'd put his hands on him, his mouth on him, he'll do anything he wants with the kind of vigor that can only come from. well. a fucking virgin.
turbo virgin. but we're only saying that in introspection. because it's funny, and it's going to remain funny.
breathe, he says, you have to remember to breathe and he takes in a gulping breath of air that ends up leaving him in an almost sobbing exhale. he's overwhelmed but in the best way, the absolute best fucking way but he does take a few shuddering breaths, in and out and in and out again as vash sets the kind of pace that brings a low, rumbling sound from the back of his throat, the kind of pace that makes him want to match it with his own movements, stuttered upward rolls of his hips that stutter just as much as his labored breaths and he wants, he doesn't think he's ever wanted something as badly as this. his brother, his hands and his mouth and his eyes on him and his body clenching so gloriously down around him.
the whole of him. every single bit of him, inside and out. that's what he wants.
vash's thumb plays over his bottom lip and he parts his lips to invite it into his mouth, tongue licking almost playfully at the pad as he reaches with one hand to trail the very tips of his own fingers over the length of his brother's cock. he hasn't touched him here yet, and he wants to, thumb passing over the head and spreading any accumulation of moisture there downward in a slow, languid stroke. )
[ Stuttered as they are, their movements still find a rhythm that works together, even if by accident or instinct, the fumbled inexperience of either of them hardly does anything but make it that much more intimate as they feel each other out and find the right angles to move. Vash clenches around his brother as he sinks down onto him again, teeth worrying at his lip again as he watches Nai's tongue glide over the pad of his thumb. There's something hungry in the way he watches, all too pleased with himself.
It's as he hooks a finger around a particularly pronounced canine with all the intention to tug, his fingers sliding against his brother's tongue that Nai's hand glides over his cock with that teasing, slow touch. It wrings a moan from Vash's throat that had been sitting there silently, laying in wait. Vash's hips jerk forward without thought, yanking him wildly out of the rhythm they'd only just set for the last little while. A whine escapes his lips, a high pitched noise that goes rough at the edges as he finds his voice. ]
You jerk. [ It's breathless, the way he talks, but there's no malice behind it despite the juvenile namecalling. It'd be a lie to say he wants Nai to stop, when it feels this good. But also, Vash is keeping count and his brother is being underhanded, if he has the chance to say anything about it. Underhanded, maybe, if Vash figured his brother knew more about what he's doing to him. He shifts a hand down to lay over Knives' own rocking into the touch just as much as he tries to still it. ]
I'm not gonna... not again, not before you. Come on, Nai. Don't be greedy.
( even if this is the first time they've ever come together like this, he doesn't think it will be the last, not with how painfully perfectly they fit together, two pieces of the same whole finally slotting together as they were always meant to, two halves melting into one the way nai thinks he's always wanted them to, even if he'd never fully realized it until now.
it's glorious, effortless, divine; nai thinks he will want for it for the rest of their known lives even if he can have it, always hungry, always yearning. for his brother, and his brother alone.
his eyes flutter shut for the smallest moment when the other's finger curled around his fang, tongue laving over the digits in his mouth as hips buck erratically against his own, rhythm shattered for the sake of chasing down errant pleasure that hadn't been expecting, and he would laugh if he could, wringing every single bit of joy out of this he's able to. just to be able to say he can still catch vash off-guard.
but it doesn't last too long, not when he laces their fingers together around his brother's cock and squeezes, his free hand coming up to curl around a slender shoulder and press down, down to meet every single one of his upward thrusts, his own cock buried deep inside that receptive body while his entrance clenches tight and dripping around nothing.
the hand at vash's shoulder slips to curl around the back of his neck and bring him down for a biting kiss that's more lips and teeth than anything else, the taste of blood still lingering between them as he manages to grind out, harsh, almost a hiss β ) With me. ( he rocks upward, strained, as he strokes over him with their threaded fingers. )For me. One more, brother. I want to feel you so badlyβ ( so he's being greedy.
can you really blame him? he's not about to last much longer, anyway. )
[ It's late. It's so late, as far as their birthday was concerned but it took Vash a while to find what he was looking for. It also took a while for him to work up the nerve to approach his brother with the idea, so really it's been a couple of months in the making.
So when he finds his brother in the kitchen of their tiny little mushroom house (they REALLY need to look into getting something bigger, and soon) he approaches carefully, one hand lifting to skim over the edge of the counter with his fingertips. ]
Hey, Nai...?
[ He tips his head to one side, just a little, just a smidge. It's a telltale sign to anyone who really looks close enough. He smiles an easy sort of expression, his other hand tucked quietly behind his back. ]
( he hadn't given his gift to vash under the assumption that he would get anything in return β it hadn't even been on his mind, if he's perfectly honest, just one more tentative step in the direction of repairing the chasm between them β and more to the point it had made him feel β¦ good, to do something for his brother, something that he'd thought he would like, and it turns out that his gift hadn't been ill-received.
he's making tea in the kitchen when vash makes his appearance ( he's come to like the stuff, and he might even admit it, if asked ) and he turns the moment his brother shuffles into his periphery, eyebrows raised. he knows that look, it means he's already got something on his mind, already got something planned, but β¦ all right, yeah, he's going to humor him.
( they'll get a bigger place eventually. maybe. probably. he might be used to having his own place, but it hasn't been so bad being this close to his twin. ) )
[ His gaze shifts from his brother to the tea, and back again. There's a question on his face that isn't related to the one that had been there a moment before, but vash is quick to put it to the side (for now). ]
Well. I was thinking...if you wanted to.
[ He steps over, sliding a small box onto the counter from behind his back. It looks awfully similar to something that had been given to him back around his birthday. He pushes it over towards Nai's teacup, fingertips leaving it after lingering for a moment or two extra. ]
You don't have to, but I thought it might be fun. I found one that matches.
[ It might be a little childish, but the thought of it warms something in his chest a little. ]
this face is so stupid but it's like the only one i've got that's relevant huffs
( as long as you aren't about to start questioning his drinking habits on top of everything else; be grateful that you haven't had to shove anything into his mouth since that first time, glad as narration is sure your fingers are for that little bit. he's learning that he likes certain things, to be sure of it. don't tease him or you might find yourselves back at square one so fast your head will spin.
nai looks down at the box when vash pushes it across the counter, curiosity getting the better of him before he even realizes he's reaching for it. the little ring inside really is almost identical, a pretty, saturated blue in place of the rich red he'd managed to find for his brother fixed into a basic silver hoop.
it makes something in the center of his chest tighten pleasantly as he looks to meet the other's gaze again. ) You want us to match? ( he smiles β genuinely smiles β and reaches to take the little box in both of his hands, turning it over and back again, admiring the trinket inside. )
Of course I want to. I assume that since you probably did your own, you know what you're doing β¦? ( it's more of a question than he means for it to be, but one pale brow rises slowly regardless, the smallest upward quirk of a corner of his mouth indicating something teasing. )
[ No, actually. He kind of thinks it's cute. He'll have to pay attention to what kinds...
But his attention is taken away from the tea to the way his brother is looking at him and the brightness of it has Vash frozen in awe. It almost makes him forget to breathe for a moment, but he quickly draws a breath in as he lifts careful hands to brush fingertips over the curve of Nai's cheekbones. Look, let him. This is all so new still, he's just got to... get used to things.
He nods at the question his own lips quirking up at the way Nai's expression shifts into something just a little silly, hands still pressing lightly to Nai's face like he's trying to commit the expression to memory. He wishes Nai would smile more. ]
( herbal, mostly. probably. and anything that tastes even remotely of citrus.
it's new to him too, of course, being able to have this level of intimacy with anyone, much less his twin brother, but he can't exactly imagine being like this with anyone else. it doesn't seem like the pieces would fit properly, because he can't see himself nuzzling into anyone else's touch like he is vash's as his fingertips graze over his cheekbones.
it just seems so natural. maybe he'll start to smile more. )
I think I can handle a little bit of pain by this point. (as long as it's not in his leg. we're not sure what he would do about so much pain in his leg.) I trust you. Do you want to do it now?
[ Well, now he has gift ideas that aren't this for later, or whenever he feels like getting something his brother likes. Now that he knows what that something could be, outside of ... well, playing piano. (and the bible?) ]
We can. It'll be quick. I bet it'll heal pretty fast, if you take good care of it.
[ To know that he has his brother's trust though... That's something else. Though by now, perhaps it was one of those things he knew without being told. It's still nice to hear it. ]
Kitchen is probably the best place to do it. [ I have a kit. If a needle, some alcohol and the nerve is a kit. ]
( just play with him. that's enough of a gift in and of itself, even if he's going to end up having to remind you of things you might have forgotten. piano lessons, more opportunities to openly flirt without flirting β¦ potato, potahto.
his nose wrinkles just a bit at the thought of having to take care of anything close to a wound, because old habits do indeed die hard and he never would have had to worry so much about things healing before. ) The last thing I ever thought I would have to ponder. ( he chuckles, like he's thought of something funny he has no intention of sharing with the class. ) At least you're not warning me against infection. ( because it sounds terrible and he wants no part of it.
he nods at the kitchen being the best spot, and he gives the surrounding area a brief once-over. )
I suppose I should sit, hm? ( and look. a kit contains whatever you want to have in it. if you call it one, it is one. )
It's because I'm not going to do this with anything dirty. It won't be a problem.
[ Vash wanders away from his brother to pull out a chair next to the tiny, tiny little dining table. A table really only meant for two at a time. He sets his kit down on the table and starts cleaning the needle with the alcohol and a clean cloth. The earring is in its box, set purposefully on the table.
When he turns back around he tilts his head to the side. ]
Sit here. There's plenty of light and I'll be able to reach better.
[ The other option was Vash sitting on the counter for a vantage point, and making Knives stand -- but Vash is at least a little aware that his brother should be the one sitting. Just in case. Who knows, they both have the tendency to be drama queens when they want to be. ]
I would hope not. ( he says with a little bit of exaggeration in how he's taken aback, but vash is going to have to be pretty gullible to believe it. especially from him.
nai watches him, as he always watches him even when he's doing the most mundane of things; it's so damned obvious that his attention is always drawn to his hands, but vash has always had a penchant for being graceful when he doesn't mean to be. he likes when he talks with his hands, too, because it adds to the whole of his expressiveness, and β
okay. look. he has a thing for his brother's stupid, elegant hands. even the prosthetic. leave him alone.
the kitchen is tiny enough as it is but the table is even smaller, especially when taking his considerable overall bulk ( read: cake ) into consideration, but he sets himself down into the chair with as much ease as he's able, resting an elbow on the table's edge and his chin in the palm of that hand, continuing to watch the other prepare himself.
it'll be a good thing he's sitting, narration is sure, but it might be even better for his proclivity for being dramatique( β’ ) if you were to sit in his lap while you did this, vash. it'll keep him calm! really! )
What made you think of this, anyway? ( he asks quietly. ) Did you happen across the earring first, or did the thought of it come to mind on its own? ( either way, he's endlessly endeared. duh. )
It was just a thought, really... [ He says with a shrug, his gaze focused on the needle in his hands and the little box as he follows after his brother. He pauses in front of him after a moment, his head tilting to one side as he stares, a serene little smile settling unconsciously on his lips. ]
I thought it might be nice. [ The needle and box land on the table next to where Nai is sitting, and Vash? Very slyly slides himself into his brother's lap so that they're sitting chest to chest, his legs straddling either side. One hand lifts up to cradle the side of his brother's face, the tips of his fingers tracing over the lobe of the ear he's about to pierce. ]It's been a long time since we shared much between us.
[ He lifts his head a little, lips pressing a little kiss to the center of Knives' forehead. ]
( vash has the whole of his attention β as he most often does β and he's watching and listening to him so intently that he isn't expecting his brother to just make a place for him in his lap as easily as he does. not that he doesn't want him there, especially with the way his hands automatically come up to rest first against the rise of his hips and then ( mostly ) innocently over the tops of his thighs, but that should pretty much go without saying by now, shouldn't it?
he hums out a soft response, one of affirmation as he gives in to the urge to bump their noses together affectionately. it's β actually more of a brief brush back and forth, really, and good lord who could have known that this man would be all about the eskimo kisses. ) A very long time. ( he agrees, any creases smoothing from his forehead when that kiss comes. sickening, really. )
I miss sharing things with you, Vash. (gross.
but he falls silent then, with little more than another small grunt that catches in the back of his throat, indicating that he's ready whenever his brother is. get on with it so he can kiss you properly, jeez. )
[ If Vash were less focused on rubbing the newly open alcohol pad over the lobe of his brother's ear, he might have fussed about how some older brother can't seem to keep his hands to himself. As it is, he lets Knives do what he wants, flesh and bone thumb smoothing gently over likely sensitive skin. He's done his best to pick the needle up with a subtle movement, and as gently (and swiftly) as he can he pushes the tool through pale skin to create the hole in the lobe of his brother's ear, just opposite the one in his own.
It's much easier to do this to someone else, he finds, but he doesn't let his thoughts linger on that, instead quickly exhaling a breath to blow over the likely painful spot as he swiftly uses his dexterity to replace the needle with the new earring that will stay there for the next forever.
It's all over in a blink but Vash presses his forehead against his brother's own. ]
( where is he supposed to put his hands, vash? is he supposed to simply let them dangle at his sides until you're finished? ( it doesn't matter that it isn't going to take very long! that's very much not the point! ) your thighs seem to be a perfect resting place for them, and it's not like he's trying to cop a feel ( yet ), so just. hold your thomases.
he knows, distantly, that it's going to hurt ( probably ); he's getting more and more used to the idea of pain, having gone through the aches and pains of acclimating himself to this place in the first, twinges of his stomach when he was hungry, the heavy ache of his eyelids when he'd gone without sleep for too long, but nothing could really prepare him for the sharp sting of the needle through his lobe, in the front and out the back and vash is dexterous enough that there's little more than a sharp inhale and maybe a tiny sound that catches in the back of his throat before he finishes. but he does. and his earlobe is left with the warmth of the newly pierced, but β¦
it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it might have been? it isn't like you shot him in the leg or anything.
he exhales a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding, quick and a bit sharp, and don't mind the fact that his hands slip up from their previous resting place to curl around his hips. )
Because you're not so bad at it. ( he nudges vash's nose with his own. ) It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it might.
he'll shoot you in the leg if you keep making that joke
[ Vash exhales a breath that comes out as a short laugh, carefully removing the needle from his hands before settling them against the sides of his brother's neck with a softly amused expression on his face. His thumbs graze over the sharp line of Knives' jaw as he returns that simple, affectionate gesture with his own nose. He's pretty sure he won't get tired of being this close to someone again. Especially when the someone is his twin brother. ]
You're just saying that. [ He denies the compliment quietly, never really one to easily accept words of praise. He turns his gaze to look at the earring dangling from his brother's newly pierced ear and his target changes, shifting the way he's in Knives' space to lean in and press his lips to the curve of that same ear, where the skin is still red but far enough from the new wound to avoid it hurting. ]
It looks good.
a sacrifice i'm willing to make for the sake of my own consistency
( part of him is still reeling that they can finally have this again β the closeness, the open affection that he would never willingly seek out from anyone else, only vash β and an even more selfish part of him wants to keep it all for himself, hoard it and him well away from everything and everyone else, even if he's well aware that he can't.
he never learned how to share properly, all right? it's a learning experience.
but he's still soaking up all of that affection as though he might never get to have it again, tipping his own head to the side just so to allow the other's angle to shift, a soft hum that may as well be a purr filtering up from the back of his throat and losing itself in the minimal space between them. )
I never just say anything, Vash. You know that. ( a little bit of a dubious statement, to be sure, but he's standing by it. from this angle, it's far too easy to drop a line of soft, sweet, light kisses along the edge of the other's jaw, still nuzzling into him as a cat actively seeking attention might. )
[ He pauses, the words he's speaking are whispered in a low tone. Like they're sharing secrets in their tiny little space. ]
Or something else?
[ It's funny how intimate little touches like this feel, how simple kisses to his jaw or nuzzling against skin can feel so warm when they're so easy to give. Maybe it's because its Nai that they feel so much more important. He lets his hands slip lower on his brother's neck, the flesh-and-bone thumb dragging down over his throat and over the bump of his adams apple, like he's just taking time to explore. ]
( there is no denying the tiniest little shiver that makes its way through him at the sound of his brother's voice, so low and soft and intimate, even if he doesn't mean for it to be. not intentionally. that's β¦ just what vash does to him now, isn't it?
( it's what it always would have done to him, if they'd been allowed this sort of thing before now. if nai himself hadn't been so hell-bent on making him see the error of his ways, his choices in siding with the humans β
but that isn't what's on his mind now. it hasn't been for the last little while, baby steps in the direction they're currently pressing toward, and he's not about to ruin it just because his thoughts have a tendency to wander. )
nai swallows purposely as that thumb passes over the bump of his adam's apple, a simple movement but still one that brings them closer together, and the sound of his purr is still there in his words when he finally speaks up again, feigning something innocuous. )
The piercing, of course. ( he says it matter-of-factly, which ends up being a moot point when he immediately follows up with: ) And everything that's led up to it.
[ It feels like yesterday when they were sitting in the living room of the tiny mushroom house, their hands on each other in ways that seemed almost taboo in the moment but now Vash is pretty certain he wouldn't want to live without. Could he? He could survive, but he's certain he wouldn't want to. He laughs a little, bumping his nose against Nai's after a moment. ]
At least you're honest.
[ He drags his touch back up over his brother's neck, the pads of his thumbs brushing over the crown of Nai's cheekbones and up over the apples of his cheeks, dragging over the mirrored beautymark on his face. He's careful when he approaches anywhere near that newly pierced ear, but he doesn't touch there, instead letting his fingers climb up and drag through white-blond hair.
He makes a point then to drag his thumb over the middle of Nai's forehead, pushing stray hair away from the spot before he leans up and presses his lips to the skin there. He never really thought he'd get a chance to share this sort of intimacy with his twin again, and he's struck in this moment with an emotion so intense it almost makes him choke up. When he speaks, it's hushed and in that same low timbre as before, but somehow just a little awestruck. As though a realization's just come to him. ]
( being able to lay his hands on his brother as he had that very first time, it may not have been so long ago but now that he's had it, it's going to feel like he's missing something if they have to go too long without it; that softness, that closeness, that yearning. it isn't something he wants to have to live without, either.
he nuzzles back, like a cat seeking out affection, even if his grin is just this side of sheepish. ) I try to be.
(honest, especially with everything that includes vash in it; his brother has helped him feel at home here, feel safe even without the powers granted to him by being an independent, and he thinks, perhaps not for the first time β¦ that it might not be so bad if they never found a way back to him. he could exist, like this, as long as vash is by his side.
he soaks up the attention vash lays down on him like flower petals chasing a sunbeam to soak up its warmth, a low sound of the utmost contentment filtering up from the very back of his throat; in this moment, it's almost as if nothing had ever changed between them. they were still vash and nai, two halves of the same whole, finally coming back together as they were meant to.
i love you, nai.
he almost chokes on a sound that doesn't have a name, no words to put to it to describe the sensation that thrums through him at three simple words; i love you, like the past century and a half hadn't happened, i love you like the clench of a fist around his heart that squeezes and takes the breath right out of him. i love you, like it was always meant to be.
there's a wetness pricking at the corners of his eyes when he speaks up again, but he ignores it. )
I have only ever loved you, Vash. (my vash. my vash.) More than anything. ( he pauses, and then those three words are given back to his brother brushed along the seam of his mouth, soft and reverent. )
[ He's known. No matter how difficult things had gotten, somehow, deep down there was no denying that they loved each other. They're brothers, two parts of one whole, meant to compliment and support the other. Being torn apart, leagues of planet and stars and ideals between them was only painful. Even at his most afraid, his fear was never for himself when it came to Nai. Here and now, with the work they've put in to stitch together their tattered relationship and torn hearts Vash is certain he never needs or wants to be separated from his brother again. Together, they can overcome so much more than they could when they were apart.
He's so, so sure. He's so, so, hopeful. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, not out of sorrow but just because he's always been emotive, and he brushes his nose against his brothers' briefly. ]
I know. I love you, I love you.
[ It's muttered again and again, his lips ghosting against Nai's in return as he says them, his arms moving to wrap tightly around his brother as he turns that ghost of affection into an actual kiss that stays chaste, for now. It's almost like he's still getting used to hearing the words tumble from his own lips, off his own tongue. He's certain he hasn't said it in over a hundred years, not to anyone. He might as well be inhaling every exhale Nai makes for how close he's slid himself into Nai's lap, and for all the gentle, tenderness he feels in this moment it's not close enough. ]
[ when knives gets back to his room sometime in early december, there's a cute little potted plant waiting at the door. the included note is written in neat print, and includes instructions for care, as well as a personal note from cain: ]
I was thinking of you when I chose this. It's called a String of Hearts, and it's best to hang it. I hope you like it, dear. - Cain
[ this one took him a little longer, but he does eventually complete it: a set of a wooden fork and spoon, because he is committing to the bit and doesn't do things halfway.
it's wrapped up in brown paper and tied with some twine, left outside castle vash for him to find. there's no note included aside from a doodle of a knife on the paper, but he should be able to figure out who it's from. ]
[Unlike the rest of the gifts in the house, Knives present is not left outside his door on the floor. Rather, it can be found in the kitchen. Itβs carefully wrapped, with a note on the top. Written on it in large, bold letters is the world βFragile.β Meryl knows half of the house canβt be trusted.
Should he choose to open the gift, Knives will find a Kintsugi Tea Set. Great care has been taken to procure this gift, the same amount of care thatβs been put into ever crack and break in the set itself. Perhaps one could think of it as symbolic β mended bridges could be even more beautiful than what was there in the first place.
[ On his brother's bed are several things. A folded blanket tied with a light blue ribbon, dipping pens paired with oddly shimmery black ink, and a sheath of blank sheet music. It's a promise, maybe, but there's also a note. ]
[ Vash goes looking for his brother in the middle of the night. It's already past midnight so maybe it's normal that he's climbing the stairs up to his brother's part of their little wing, bare feet padding against the hardwood of the curved steps. He stops once he gets to the edge of his brother's bed, when he sees his brother's sleeping(?) form.
He purses his lips like the stubborn little brat he is and lifts a knee to crawl up into bed, burrowing under the covers and shoving himself up against his brother, his face buried in the back of his neck. Well, if he's asleep, this is fine. Maybe it's a sign that he needs to keep his thoughts to himself for a little while longer. ]
( he isn't sleeping, not really since he's vaguely aware of when his brother steps foot into the room, long before he even comes close enough to crowd his space and crawl into bed next to him. he dozes more often than he does anything more than that when vash isn't tucked in next to him, having discovered pretty quickly that he relaxes much more easily when his twin is near, and maybe β¦ maybe if there wasn't a sense of something off that vash brings with him, he might have actually fallen beneath the veil of sleep and slept well.
he reaches back with one hand once the other settles to drag blunt nails through the soft hair at his brother's nape, rumbling out a noise of acknowledgment before he can bring himself to turn it into something with words. ) Are you all right, Vash?
[ Vash exhales a long breath, lips parted against the skin of his brother's neck as he focuses on the sensation of nails dragging through the hair at the base of his skull. He hums out a sound in response, fingers smoothing over his brother's chest as he tries to decide if he wants to attempt pretending to sleep.
He decides his brother is far too perceptive when it comes to how he acts for that to work. His brow pinches as he considers how to answer, if he still wants to answer or if he's going to get cold feet and just give half truths. ]
( he's never going to expect vash to be completely honest with him when it comes to situations like this, those in which something is clearly bothering him and he hasn't decided if he wants to try to get it out or leave it alone. nai has learned when it's all right to pry and when it's best to leave things alone, and he's not sure which one of those this is going to be, not yet. so. it appears he's going to walk on eggshells until he figures it out.
his free hand slips to lace fingers with those laid against his chest, and he squeezes gently, keeping with scratching through soft hair with the others. ) Is something bothering you? ( is his first and most obvious response, because his brother is almost always able to sleep, and sleep anywhere, so when he can't it's a notable cause for concern.
but in an attempt to potentially lighten the weight of whatever is on vash's mind, he adds: ) Or did you drink tea too late in the evening again?
[ He exhales a breath, one that's really meant to be a laugh at the lame joke. It doesn't really feel like the heart is there for it. He does, however seem to scoot in closer if possible, like some kind of heat seeking leech. It's not his fault that this is probably the most comforting place he could think of.
He's quiet, after that, not exactly trying to fall asleep, but he is focusing on his brother's breathing, the feeling of his fingers dragging through his hair. It should make him feel better but it almost makes him feel worse. As close as he is to Nai, Vash almost starts to shrink in on himself. His expression, which had been neutral hidden as it was against the back of his brother's neck, shifts into something grieved. ]
You're always thinking. ( he says sleepily, but not because he isn't listening to his brother, or paying attention to his body language; of course he isn't going to miss the way he exhales against the back of his neck like it's meant to be a laugh, he can feel that his heart isn't in it, and that's his first clue that this isn't just because his brother had taken in caffeine too late in the evening.
the fingers trailing along his nape, dragging through the fine, shaved-short hair there don't stop in their wandering, shifting instead to press into the tired, tight muscle just above the line of his shoulders as best he can from such an awkward angle. his nails drag just as much as the tips of his fingers dig in, and at the sound of his name he turns very gently, not quite enough to look after his shoulder but. the effort itself should be enough. )
[ It's so tempting to just melt into the touch that he's being showered with, to let it lull him into a likely not-so-restful sleep, like how the warmth of their proximity is already trying to do to him. ]
Would it be so bad? [ He starts, quiet as a mouse in church almost, the tone of his voice thread thin as he pulls himself close tight with Nai, as though there was any room. It's as if in this moment Nai is what's tethering him to this space, rather than letting him float away. ]
To stay. [ He knows the answer. It's a horrible thing to want. To even consider it. In a way he feels as though the wish he made when drifting to this place has already come true. And yet, there are the people they've left behind, their sisters, the humans, everyone and everything they know. The confession of it makes Vash feel microscopic. ]
( nai only ever wants to shower his brother in his attention, his affection now that it's been made abundantly clear that it's a welcome thing, instead of something to be avoided; it's been said before and will undoubtedly be said again that they have made the kind of progress he doesn't think they would have had a chance for back on noman's land, and he doesn't think he'll ever be as thankful for anything else for the rest of their lives.
β¦ well. there are a few things he would be more thankful and grateful for, but they're the sort that he'll keep to himself for the foreseeable future.
he's quiet when that question comes, both because he hadn't been expecting such a thing to come out of his brother and he needs a moment to dredge up a response; there isn't much of anything left for him on that dead desert of a planet, not after the fall of july, not with vash here and safe with him. it's a selfish thought in its own way, he thinks, to want to keep what they've built here instead of possibly returning to the ruins they ( he ) had left behind.
there is also the fact of him being dead. there would be no going back for him either way.
he inhales softly, steadily, taking a breath in through his teeth and exhaling through his nose, fingers stopping their gentle massaging of tired muscle and instead simply brushing over the slope of vash's neck. lingering over the fluttering beat of his pulse. ) Is that what you want to do? Stay here indefinitely?
...I don't know. If everything is just going to go back to the way it was I—
[ He doesn't mean to pull away from Nai, but he does all the same as he draws in on himself, still pressed against Nai but smaller somehow, curled out of his reach and if there's something wet against the skin between Nai's shoulderblades, it's probably best to ignore it. ]
I don't want to lose you again.
[ There's a lot else he doesn't want to lose. His friends here, Meryl and the others. But there's certainly one relationship, one giant thread that's finally woven its way back into the tattered tapestry of his life and that's his brother. They still argue, still bicker, but it's nothing like before. Beyond that, they've woven a new little story in their shared tapestry, the color and shape of it spreading over so much of the worn fabric that it makes the rest of it that much stronger. ]
his reaction is near-immediate, when his brother pulls away from him he's turning to face him properly, reaching to wrap his arms around him and pull him in close; he knows better than vash what awaits them both back at july if they were to return, but as has been mentioned before, vash would be the one in need of catching up.
in need of realizing just how much devastation they've both caused because they're both so stubborn.
he tucks his brother's face into the hollow of his throat, chin resting at the top of his head as one hand smooths over the line of his spine, as soothing as he thinks he can be. ) Dear heart β¦ I'm not going anywhere as long as we're here, mm? ( he shifts just as much as he needs to press a soft kiss to the very center of the other's forehead. ) I'm not sure how much control we have over how long we stay here, but for the moment, I can promise you this much.
There is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you. My heart goes wherever you go.
[ It's both comforting and not, what his brother says. It does some to soothe the heavy weight in his chest, but what does more is the physical presence of his twin enveloping all of his senses. He noses against Knives' throat, his arms shifting to wrap tightly around him the best he can, their legs tangling together. ]
I know you aren't going anywhere. [ There's a pause, and a hand pressed to Knives' back shifts into a fist. ] While we're here.
It was the worst everything had been, what I remember last. What if we just go back to that? Not listening to each other.
( he would hold him like this for the rest of their natural lives if he could, this close, close to his heart just to ensure he stays just like this; safe, enveloped, kept within the bubble they've made for themselves that nothing else could even think of touching.
something in him goes just a little bit rigid when he says what he does next, when he gives rise to the notion of what he remembers from before he'd woken up here. nai has long since deduced that their timelines are different, that much is true, and he doesn't β he doesn't think β
he sighs out a small note, something that catches just behind his teeth, that one hand still smoothing along the line of his spine. ) There's nothing saying we will. ( but there isn't anything saying they won't, either, and he knows that. )
What if we were to go back with our memories of this place? And how much better we were here?
[ He feels so small, laying here. Their legs tangle together and Vash can feel the moment that Nai stiffens, the buzzing in his ears only getting louder in the moment. The sound of his brother's voice soothes him just a little and Vash exhales a breath that's almost as much of a physical shudder as it is a sound.
The thought does seem to do something to calm the worries raging in his chest, but his grip on Nai is no less desperate as he does his best to merge with the warmth of his brother.
They could. They could work together instead of being at each other's proverbial throats with their separate ideals. Together maybe they really could make NML into the paradise for themselves and their kind AND the humans. ]
( he really doesn't mean to stiffen up the way he does, but at the thought of what awaits them back home β what awaits vash β it makes his stomach drop like a stone through water, throat thick with all the things he hasn't yet said and all the things he needs to say to his brother. just because it means being honest, and he deserves that much. but.
he can't bring himself to. not yet, and if his own fear is what ends up driving them apart again, well. he'll have done it himself, won't he? all over again.
let him think that they can work together. let him think that they can fix everything that nai has broken. let him think there's still something salvageable because maybe there had been here, and maybe they've come a long, long way from when he'd first arrived.
but there is no going back home. it's a thought that makes his throat tighten and the backs of his eyes ache, but he simply buries his nose in his brother's hair and stays there. ) I promise. Where you go β¦ I go.
[ If it were anyone else, maybe Vash wouldn't have noticed the subtle body language. Maybe he would have let it pass. Instead, he shifts, carefully moving his head to look at Knives through his eyelashes and messy mop of hair. Nearly identical blue eyes watch Knives carefully as Vash shifts the way he's curled into his brother to settle a hand against his brother's neck, his thumb tracing over the curve of his cheekbone, just below his beautymark.
He knows, but he doesn't ask. There's a moment or two where he just watches, saying nothing and then he moves to press their foreheads together and closes his eyes. It's such a similar, familiar sort of action, one that Vash finds comfort in and one he hopes his brother finds soothing as well.
[The last week has been something of a clusterfuck for her, a mess of realizing and admitting feelings that have bubbled up. Some of them were easier, others ended in (admittedly swiftly resolved) disasters. Each of them, however, has ended in Meryl becoming more and more confident in how she feels. And so, she's come to four conclusions.
One: Knives is no longer the man she was so afraid of. Two: She's enjoyed Knives' company around the castle. The fact that he's given her gifts means that he likely has too. Three: The kiss they had shared had been mutually enjoyable. The fact that she survived probably proved this. Four: As a result of the above, Meryl was, most likely, developing feelings for Millions Knives.
The last one isn't a conclusion she comes to lightly. There is a lot of grappling to be done, namely with her relationship with the man prior to arriving here. There's a mental war in the back of her mind over whether or not she's done right by her mentor. She wonders if his penance here has any bearing on the world they've left behind. And of course, she can't help but fear that
It's Vash, in the end, that convinces her to place her doubts aside. Not literally, but rather his contagious optimism and hope for every soul around them. His belief that everyone, everyone could be forgiven is what pushes her to finally reach out and do her due diligence.
Her friends and partners have been consulted. She's gone over and over her thoughts in her head. And now there's only one thing left to do: actually speaking with the man.
It turns out, this is easier said than done. Meryl has passed by Knives' part of the castle at least three times now, all without taking a step further into the wing. The fact that the bottom of her jacket hasn't been worn clean off with how her hands wring into it is a miracle in and of itself. Never mind the fact that she somehow hasn't worn a rut into the floor.
On the fourth pass, she finally manages to summon her courage. With a heavy breath, she squares her shoulders and steps over the proverbial threshold that had been holding her back. Her head swivels as she begins to look for the man, unsure where to begin given the fact that she's never actively crossed this boundary.]
Knives? Are you in here?
i am EATING IT UP sorry it took me so long to get to it
( meryl isn't the only one coming to some sort of conclusion or another with regard to certain things happening in this place, but of course it would be his brother to convince her to stop thinking so hard and go through with whatever she's had on her mind for the last little while.
knives β¦ never would have thought his hatred for humanity would have taken such a backseat, let alone nearly disintegrated entirely during his stay in this place, but it stands to reason that maybe it never is too late to teach an old dog new tricks, though if you were to ever use that phrase on him β¦ he might actually stab you.
with whatever he happened to have on hand. probably not a knife, but that's neither here nor there.
he's sitting in a chair off to one side of the room that makes up the most of his personal space in the castle, the paper and pen vash had given him recently resting in his lap and between his fingers respectively, and once meryl is close enough, she might recognize a very familiar-looking cup nearby, its contents still on the verge of cooling enough to consume.
he looks up when he hears her voice, so lost in thought at the notes he's putting down on the page in front of him that he almost hadn't heard her, but his expression melts into something fond when he sees it's her. ) I am, indeed. To what do I owe such a nice surprise? ( knife.
[The moment Meryl realizes that Knives is busy working on something, she very nearly turns on her heel and walks out of the room. Perhaps she might have, if she hadn't spoken up. Immediately ghosting him after trying to get his attention wasn't going to do anything for her case.
(The tea isn't missed β in fact it makes her heart lurch. To say nothing about the faint pink that begins to bloom across her cheeks)
Right. She has a case to argue β one for her own feelings and affections. The thought very nearly makes her turn around once again, and really β it's getting exhausting, fighting her own mind at every turn. Compared to the arduous journey she's taken with her other partners, this is already far more exhausting, and she'd picked a fight with one of them along the way!
Her palms itch, drawing her back into the moment, albeit unwillingly. Part of her wants to bonk them against her forehead, as if it might knock some sense into herself. She'd have to explain the display to Knives, though, and that's the last thing she wants, actually.
Instead she holds them up, ready to wave them off.]
Iiif you're busy, it can wait. Honestly. It's not that important. [Maybe it is to her, but that's fine. He doesn't need to know that.] I was just going to ask if I could sit with you. And talk, maybe.
( you're never going to be bothering him, you know; just because he's putting lines of notes together using the utensils his brother had gifted him for the holiday doesn't mean he can't pull his mind away from it for a little while, especially if it means he gets to bask in your company.
something he's really gotten used to doing, if we're not being too subtle.
now, knives has never been the sort to second-guess, himself, no matter what the matter at hand may be; he's always been strong in his convictions, in his decisions on how to move forward with any given thing at any given time and that β¦ might have been his downfall in the end, he isn't about to admit it but the fact remains that he doesn't know what it feel like to be so unsure of himself. he wouldn't understand the internal war she's having with herself even if he'd been aware of it in the first.
he waits patiently for her to finish, to get her words out before he's setting his things aside completely β placing them gently, delicately on the table beside him that also houses his tea β and offers her such an achingly soft expression that it almost doesn't look like it belongs on him at all. vash has always been the soft one of the two of them, of course, but in this moment she may realize just how much alike they really can look when there aren't the hard lines of anger creasing knives' brow. ) You're always welcome to sit with me. You never have to ask.
( he gets up, then, with the intention of ushering her into the room properly ( before she has a chance to change her mind for real and flee. you can't r2 l2 your way out of this one, shortstuff.
he gestures toward another corner of the room where a loveseat sits, perfect for two people to relax and have a chat and not be too far away from one another. ) Would you like some tea?
[He's right to at least think to usher Meryl inside. Under normal circumstances, she absolutely might have tried to duck out of the situation she found herself in. However, as luck would have it, that warm, bordering intimate expression he wears stops her in her tracks. This isn't like at the masquerade, where she could pretend that maybe he was looking at, or talking about, someone else.
There's no logical reason for anyone else to be in this part of the castle, not right now. If there were, Knives would have made that clear to her already.
In the end, it reminds her that there's a reason she's there. If she's misinterpreting these gentle touches and sideways glances, if she's letting her imagination get ahead of her, then she needs to know it now.
Her hands clench into fists for just a second, long enough for the bite of her nails against her skin to fuel the resolve she needs. When she finally lets herself meet Knives' gaze once more, that determination lingers, even as her features soften into something just a little more relaxed.
A nod is offered.]
Right. Yeah. Tea would be great. [Having that focus point had helped her before. And even if that wasn't the case, she's begun to enjoy just having tea with Knives. If that's all this was between them, then that would be okay.
For now, though, she makes her way to the loveseat, trying not to think about the limited distance between the two of them. She sits down, with both legs folding and leaving her cross-legged. As she shifts about, she reminds herself that this was hardly the closest they'd ever been to one another β the mistletoe had made sure of that. But there hadn't been a choice then. Now is different.
They both want to be there. Meryl just needs to know why.]
( the only time it's ever really been the two of them had been back in the kitchen when she'd happened upon him making tea β and when he thinks about it, even if it hasn't been so long, it feels like it. maybe he's been a little more wanting for her sole attention than he'd been previously aware of, and when he does acknowledge such a simple thing, it's going to smack him right in the face like the proverbial ton of bricks.
or a hammer to the chest, whichever is more inconvenient for him at the time.
she agrees that tea would be a good idea, and he gives her a small nod in return as he goes about pouring another cup while she settles herself; the silence stretching comfortably between them before she finally thinks to ask her question. it's an innocuous one, to be sure, one that could leave pretty much anything and everything open-ended and he ponders how he should answer her as he finally settles in the space beside, giving a low hum under his breath that could be contemplation β¦ and it could be something else.
it's true that this isn't the closest they've been before, but it's also true that this is the closest they've been of their own volition; he's careful as he settles not to invade any of her space β unless she makes it known that she doesn't mind if he does β finally holding her tea out to her and resting his hands in his lap. )
We have, in some way or another. ( he begins, quiet and somber as ever. he gets the feeling there's going to be more to this than just a simple rehashing of how things have gone since she first arrived. ) For the better, I like to think.
[The tea is accepted, hands folding around the mug. The heat is comforting, radiating through her palms and up her wrists. It doesn't bother her any β more than anything, she's pleased to see the cup that she'd purchased him up close once more. It's a comfort, knowing that her gift has found such good use. The fact that they both get to share in that use is made all the better.
But she can't reflect on the cup forever. Eventually, she has to lift her head and consider the conversation at hand. He calls all the developments a good thing, and that gives her hope. It also makes her all the more nervous. The last thing she wants is to have those hopes dashed. In the end, it would be better that it happened now, rather than later, though. That's what drives her forward.]
I thought so too. But the thing is... [She looks down at the dark liquid in her cup.] Some of those things have been rather intimate, haven't they?
[The kiss they shared. The name he gave her. The gifts exchanged and even now, his openness to her presence.]
I just want to be sure we're on the same page. That I'm not - reading too much into anything. And if I am, then that's okay! I can pull back, just...
[It all feels very childish, suddenly. She'd be better handing him a note and asking him to check yes or no to the question "Do you like me?" Her head turns away, the humiliation growing by the second. It threatens to clamp down her throat and keep her from speaking.]
I need to know where we stand, is all. Because if I - like you more than you like me, then that isn't good, right?
( they may still be getting to know one another, tentatively and very, very cautiously stepping over boundary lines into one another's personal space bubbles, but it's so much more comfortable than it had been when she'd first arrived, and as he likes to think with most everything else in this place β¦ progress for the sake of it is better than nothing at all.
he's also come to enjoy her company more than he'd previously realized he would in the first place, but. he thinks that might just go without saying at this point.
she hesitates with her words and he gets the feeling that whatever she's about to say has a weight to it she's unwilling β or perhaps afraid β to let go of; it makes him want to reach out to her, to take hold of her hand and reassure her that he's there to listen to anything she might have to say, regardless of what it might be, no matter how much she might think he doesn't want to hear it.
or how much she doesn't want to say it? two sides of the same coin, on that one.
so he waits for her to finish, or to at least get to what he thinks might be the end of her stumbling over her own words, the beats of her heart, and if he's quiet for a moment before he tries to give his own reply, it's because he's yet again trying to pick through his words and choose the correct ones.
it's not as though he's ever done anything like this before, and there are a myriad things that begin to roll around in his head all at once, thoughts knocking into one another and sending others whirling, spiraling in all sorts of directions.
he's just a little bit dizzy. i don't know much about humans and intimacy.
but that kiss was nice, brief as it was.
i wouldn't mind doing it again.
butβ
he swallows thickly, and the only thing that comes out of him at first is: ) You β¦ like me?
[The silence doesn't last long at all, not really, but it's still enough for her mind to run wild. Surely he's going to shy away now, firmly setting a boundary in place between them. It wouldn't be a bad thing not in the grand scheme, if it meant understanding where they stood and putting those feelings to rest. But it would hurt in the moment, and she's not prepared for that.
(There is, of course, the wilder part of her imagination. This one insists that she'll be left on her lonesome, shut out entirely by Nai, with every ounce of progress lost.)
What she doesn't expect is the almost timid answer that follows, so innocent in its formation that she can't help but let out a laugh. It's gentle, and coupled with a smile so endeared that she may as well be radiating hearts. Maybe she's reading too much into it, but she can't help but reach forward in that moment. She does what Nai had hesitated in doing, threading their free hands together. The tea lingers in her hand for just a moment longer, before it too is set aside. The now freed hand tucks over the opposite side of Nai's sandwiching it in.]
I do. A lot, actually. [And just in case it there's any chance of being misunderstood, she adds:] Not just as a friend. I hope you knew that much already. I - mean it romantically.
If... that's okay, Nai.
Edited (i had to add his name. i had to.) 2024-02-13 02:10 (UTC)
( coming from someone that has never really had a healthy relationship to fall back on when there's any measure of insecurity at all knocking around inside of that overthinking mind of his β it stands to reason that he's more concerned about mucking this up than giving an immediate response just to quell any of her anxieties.
it doesn't mean anything if you don't get it right, for all he wants little more than to assuage any fears that her feelings are misplaced, he has to choose the right words. and he has to choose them well.
( just be patient with him. he's learning, and he still has a long, long way to go before it all makes sense. )
he's not quite expecting her to finish what he'd thought about starting and reach out for him , take his hand first in just one of hers β so, so small in comparison, it endears him more than he thinks he'll ever be able to put words to β and then both, and such a simple thing shouldn't affect him as it does, but he'll be damned if his heart doesn't do a ridiculous flip-flop somersault behind the cage of his ribs.
his fingers squeeze hers gently, and he picks through his thoughts one by one until he can settle on something that he thinks might actually make sense when he tries to put it into words. ) I find your friendship invaluable, to start. Whether or not there would ever be anything more than thatβ ( he pauses, absently worrying at his bottom lip with the edge of one sharp incisor, a nervous habit he doesn't actually realize he's picked up just yet. ) I don't think there are words for how much I appreciate your acceptance of me. As a whole.
( you know how vash has a tendency to ramble when he's nervous? this is the nai equivalent. too many words regardless of what he's actually trying to convey.
he swallows thickly, throat clicking with the dryness in the very back of it, pale eyes searching hers and hoping she'll understand. ) I care for you, very much. But I can't tell you that I have any idea what to do beyond that. ( hey, stupid.
haven't you been thinking that you wouldn't mind kissing her again. you could start with that. )
[Though Meryl holds his gaze for the time being, there's no denying that a part of her wants desperately to tear away and stare at the floor. He may not be the most readable person, but she'd like to think she's started picking at some of his tells. Even if that weren't true, she feels like she's being laid bare the longer she sits beneath his gaze. There's a vulnerability that comes from honesty, and right now she wants nothing more than to hide.
The squeeze of her hands is reassuring, even when the beginning of his ramble doesn't. Their invaluable friendship felt like a way of emphasizing that they were just that. She wouldn't hate it, just being his friend, but that wouldn't mean she wasn't disappointed.
But he continues, teeth worrying his lip in a way she almost wants to scold him for. Don't hurt yourself, she nearly says, if there weren't more important things happening, things she doesn't want to interrupt.
She sits in silence with his final statement for a moment. There's no disappointment or frustration. It's a better answer than she could have expected. The question now becomes... what next. The last thing she wants is to speak in a way that might imply she was pressuring him. She had known, at least in the back of her mind, that he probably didn't have much experience in this regard.
In the end, she shifts enough so that she's sitting on her knees. It helps her push herself up that much higher, so that they're almost eye level. Yes, she has to take every inch she can get.]
We don't have to have an idea. We don't even have to be a "we." [Even if her brow does briefly pinch at that.] I... I mean I'm sure you've seen Night Sky and Livio around. I have experience with them but - Sometimes I still don't know what I'm doing.
But I do know I care about you, too. A lot. And even if that just means little nights like this, just spending time with each other. Or Drinking tea. Or anything! I would be happy. [Finally, her gaze drops, courage finally fading.] But I wouldn't mind... more, either. More like - before. With the masquerade.
( of the two people he could possibly think of that should be able to read him even a little bit, she's certainly one of them, and he tries β he really tries β to keep his expression open, far from impassive or neutral, even if neither of them are sure where they're supposed to go from here. he's nothing if not welcoming of her feelings for him, accepting of them, even if it feels as though she's handing him something incredibly delicate and all he's ever known is how to break things. destroy them.
( and that circles right back around to the reason behind his wanting to learn how to garden, because he's come to the realization that he would so much rather create, cultivate then tear down, and he thinks of his interactions with meryl the very same way.
do not mess this up. )
she lets him ramble, and he's almost afraid that she's going to move away from him when she begins shifting β don't, please β but that may just be a little bit of that ever-present anxiety of his seeping through when it really, really shouldn't, and when she settles again he tries not to take so deep of a steadying breath. or at the very least, to make it seem like it isn't exactly that.
he gives over a slight little huff of laughter at the mention of their resident giant teddy bear; not that he would ever refer to him as such outside of his own mind, but you're welcome to appreciate it in introspection. ) It would be rather difficult to miss him. ( he says quietly, with the hint of a soft smile. ) Night Sky, we've never crossed paths in person, but I would say I'm β¦ peripherally aware of her. ( sort of? he's probably seen her on the network.
he goes quiet when she picks back up her own ramble, holding her small hands in his, gently ( and absently ) brushing the pads of his thumbs over the backs of them, almost like he's trying to comfort her and isn't aware of doing it at all. there's a lot to pick through here, too, and a lot to respond to, but for the very moment β¦ he chooses that very last bit. ) Like before, hm? ( he leans in a little bit closer, and where before had been nothing but the most wholesome sort of uncertainty there's a liiiiiittle bit of mischief in the way his eyes shimmer just the slightest bit in the low light. ) Does that mean I have your permission to kiss you again? ( he really will get to the rest of it, we promise, but one thing at a time and baby steps, regardless. )
[One day, Meryl may need to have a talk with Nai on his ability to withhold nicknames for some people and not others. The fact that Livio has thusfar avoided the teddy bear accusations, yet she's been labeled with little one will not sit well with her. Even if Nai isn't wrong.
But it's all a moot point, as she's far more distracted by the conversation at hand than attempting to read her... companion's? mind.]
They're both good people. Kind. And very different between the two of them. And from you. [So far, Meryl's type has been a scattershot. They've all also been things she's fallen accidentally into. Really, Nai is the only one she's actually danced around with any amount of deliberation.
Anything else she might have had to say is interrupted by the way the his fingers trace over her hands. Once again, she has to marvel at just how gentle he is. She no longer has to grapple with the man in front of her versus the one she remembers, but even still, he finds a way to take her by surprise.
... Like with that question, for example. She huffs once, turning her head briefly away as she tries to hide the way her face immediately burns an even brighter shade of red. She doesn't stay away long, though, not when the offer is enticing as it is. Eventually she turns back, though, eyes still wide and skin still warm, but a hopeful smile blooming all the same.]
I - would like that, actually. [Her chin tips upward, just a hint bolder than before.] Permission granted.
( she's more than welcome to have that talk with him, because he will deny all thoughts of livio as their resident teddy bear, but she is little one; his β¦ little one β¦ as this conversation seems to be going the way of, but he doesn't think he has any place to think anything like that, even if she's coming to him with her feelings and laying them bare. it's not his right, to claim anyone else like that.
moving right along! ahem!
he smiles softly at the first response she gives. ) I imagine you couldn't attract anything but good people. ( he pauses, brows furrowing, because yes, he realizes what he's just said and is going to make an addendum. ) Save for me. But we've been over your acceptance of me and everything I am β¦ so I suppose that means you get a free pass, hm? ( he's trying to be funny, he's trying to keep his tone light but the fact remains that he still feels as though he'll never be able to atone for what happened in july. all those people, all those lives, not even including his own because he'd brought that on himself β
but he's not going to allow himself to spiral. not now. not when this is a good conversation.
the way she turns away from him is β¦ undeniably endearing, as though she isn't entirely transparent and that's including the fact that he's terrible at reading social cues; she turns back to him, and he takes back one of his hands to trail his fingertips over the very edge of her jaw, a reverent sort of touch that goes to the corner of her mouth before that hand settles at the side of her neck, the flutter of her pulse bright and warm beneath his palm.
he doesn't say anything else, only presses his lips to hers in a semblance of how she had done the same during the masquerade, only unhindered by the stipulations of being released from a ( pardon the pun ) sticky situation; his lips are soft against hers, chaste in the way he first lays little pecks against the seam of her mouth and then kisses her properly, warm and inviting, giving her all the room she might need ( or want ) to steer the kiss in whatever direction she likes. )
[In time, perhaps they'll cross that bridge and address the topic of possession. Certainly, Meryl is coming to see Nai as hers. Not entirely, as the last thing she would ever do is come between the bonds of brotherhood between himself and Vash. She might not know how deep those bonds go, but even still β never would she dare to usurp that position.]
I think I attract people that want to be good. That are willing to be, even. [It's an alteration that successfully includes Nai within the bunch. She's not going to forgive his past, solely because that isn't just her role, but she can acknowledge the steps he's taken forward.
She can also acknowledge that thinking about those things is about to be patently difficult for her, now that Nai is leaning in. There's a brief moment of panic, an instant where her eyes go wider as she both forgets and the simultaneously remembers what she's supposed to do next. She leans forward to meet him, eyes closing as she accepts each little peck.
Even if the smile that threatens to bloom over her lips comes dangerously close to disturbing them both.
To her credit, she doesn't immediately push for escalation. Right now she's content with lingering in the kiss. When she does move her lips, it's slow and careful. She doesn't know how much Nai has done this, if ever. Thus, a careful, educational approach seems best for her.
And maybe she just wants to take it one step at a time with him. Maybe she wants to figure out what she's supposed to do with her hands first. They can't just fretfully grab at her own shorts the entire time. Perhaps if she lifted them to lay against his chest?
Yeah, that should work. If he gets to enjoy the way her pulse jumps and jackhammers, she should get to do the same.]
( maybe they'll eventually have that conversation, and maybe he'll come to understand the thought of possession of more than one person, since she's shared the knowledge of her other partners with him, there's nothing about exclusivity and vash will always be at the forefront of his mind, there is no helping that, but. she's there now, too, taking up his thoughts day in and day out. he's already made a place for her there.
( but nai can be hers, too. if she wants him to be. he'd never really felt like he belonged anywhere, much less to anyone even before the great fall, and there is a feeling of home in her that a part of him still doesn't know what to do with. he'll figure it out, in time, but β¦ he'd be trying to get away with a lie if he tried to say he didn't like the thought of being hers.
do with that what you will, meryl. he's in your hands. )
he sighs, quietly, a short and muffled thing in the space between them. ) I want to be good, I think. ( for a small moment, he sounds so much younger than his years, unsure in the steps he's trying to take forward. ) For you, and for Vash. You both deserve so much more from me than what I am. ( there's more of that vulnerability, effectively laying himself bare before her and asking, begging for her to accept him, as she's so far accepted everything else.
but. he follows her lead when she moves her lips against his, because he really doesn't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and he's still gentle, delicate in everything he does with her because he doesn't know any other way to be. though he does take a chance in dragging his teeth over her bottom lip, the slightest nibble, because he honestly can't help it.
his hands begin to move, quite without his consent and one settles at the back of her neck, fingers threading through the short, soft hair at her nap while the other settles at the dip of her waist, maybe even squeezing gently, pulling her closer and closer until she's in his lap, such a tiny thing, and he wants to keep her there.
his?
maybe he's thinking about that more than he realizes. )
[The admission is all she needs. He wants to take the step forward, and so she'll be there to help him. She can't guarantee what that process will look like, and quite frankly? She doesn't care. There are slightly more pressing things to think about in this moment. Namely, ensuring that Nai believes he's at least good enough to be apart of her life.
First step? Sliding easily into his lap. She straddles his waist almost without hesitation, stumbling only slightly. It causes her to break from the kiss just for a second, a faint little laugh forming, expression both sheepish and heartbreakingly stricken.
She's wanted this for a long time. Under pressure, maybe she'd admit to dreaming of it, even.
Lucky for both of them, she returns to their kiss just as easily. This time, it's her teeth that drag over his lip, reciprocating the gesture before tracing her tongue over the same space. If she had to guess β and she has no reason not to believe it, thank you β she has just a bit more experience than him. Fumbling though she might be, she can at least show him some of the ropes.
She quickly grows unsatisfied by the hand against his chest. One can linger against the firm muscle, but the other slides back into near-white hair. She cards her fingers through it painfully gently, relishing the way it slides through her fingers in the same breath that she relishes the slide of their lips.]
[Ah. She probably should have mentioned the alcohol sooner. Almost guiltily, she reaches up to toy with a strand of hair, all but tugging it free of the pins it's been put up with. It's getting on in the night, no one would fault her for looking the slightest bit unkempt. At least this keeps her from completely panicking, right?]
Under normal circumstances, no, you wouldn't. [Despite the faint layer of guilt forming at having given him the drink without a word, she manages to find a playful smile.] But, with all due respect, you don't look like the type of guy who's ever had a drink in his life.
[Translation: You're a lightweight, and she knows it. Granted, she only knows it because she recognizes her own kind. Lord knows she can't handle more than one mug of badland grog herself. She doubts she'll be able to get away with more than one glass, and that might have been pushing it if she didn't take it slow.]
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be bothered, having to take care of you - [She winces at her own phrasing β just coming right out with that, huh?] but I don't want you to feel... uncomfortable.
[There's a level of vulnerability that comes from being drunk. It's not the kind of thing she thinks Millions Knives wants to experience in a crowded room full of potentially unruly people.]
So just... take it easy. Enjoy the flavor. [She cranes her neck, looking for any appetizers going around.] And make sure you eat something too, just in case!
( listen, there's no reason at all for her to feel guilty; he's over a century old, and that means he's a grown ass adult β even if he still has some learning to do when it comes to human things, but that's neither here nor there when it really comes down to it. if he decides to take more than one sip of the spicy grape juice before he realizes what it could possibly do to him β¦ that isn't going to be her fault. it's going to be his, and he'll realize it later. potentially when he's nursing a hangover.
( can plants get hangovers? for the sake of narration's penchant for wanting this man to suffer as much as he possibly can β¦ we're going to go with yes. and '98 did it first, so thanks for that, vash. )
he notes that playful smile for exactly what it is, and the one he gives in return is nothing short of a challenge. ) I haven't. Never had a reason to, but that doesn't mean I can't handle it. ( are we sensing some vash-level stubbornness? they are twins, after all.
but no, no. he is absolutely, one hundred percent a lightweight and he's about to find out just how much of a lightweight he actually is. stay tuned for those results, because they're bound to be hilarious.
as if to prove his point, he takes another pointed sip β albeit a small one, so maybe he's proving both of their points without really meaning to. any incapacitation of faculties involves a certain level of vulnerability, to be sure, and they may still be in the beginning stages of getting to know one another, but there is a part of him that doesn't think it would mind being taken care of.
not that he's about to say anything like that out loud! yet. give it time.
he follows her gaze in search of anything worth eating β not just appetizers, but of course it would figure that this one still has picky tendencies. ) I don't think I would be uncomfortable if you were the one looking after meβ ( what was that about not saying anything out loud? sir? good grief.
but hold on. getting distracted here: ) Is there nothing that passes for real food in this place? You'd think it all garbage if you went on presentation alone. ( is this a throwback to vash bringing nothing but junk back to the mushroom house in hopes of feeding him β¦ yes.
this is another reason he's going to end up cooking for you all. )
[Her hands go up (one still gripping her drink, of course), the smile she wears now spreading to an outright smirk. If he's going to be this stubborn about it, Meryl will just have to let him suffer the consequences. As long as she doesn't stray too far, he'll be fine.
She repeats this much out loud to him, too.]
Well, don't worry about any of that. I won't be far. [Though, she does pause to now grin. He's so fussy and so stubborn. Obviously she shouldn't be surprised at the similarities that bleed through between the twins, but sometimes it really is striking just how much they share between each other.]
There are some nice places to sit out on the balconies. Why don't you go get comfortable while I chase down some real food for us. [Is she teasing him? Of course she is. If he's comfortable with being vulnerable with her, then it only makes sense that she'd be comfortable enough to tease. There's no threat of harm β hasn't been in some time. The thought hadn't even occurred to her in months.]
( she may not know precisely what she's getting herself into with him, but he's going to be stubborn about every darn thing he can be stubborn about. one more easy way to realize that he and vash are related. maybe their level of tenacity is a plant thing? we may never know, but it's kind of funny to think about nonetheless.
besides β¦ didn't we both put in an order for a tipsy independent? coming right up.
he's still going to wrinkle his nose at what's laid out in front of them, perhaps eventually he won't be so fussy about food, but that's still a long time coming. unless this place sees fit to start serving decent-looking healthier options. not everyone is like vash and can subsist off of half of a donut. or honeybun.
he peers down at her with barely-narrowed eyes, dipping to take another sip from his glass as he hmmms in the back of his throat. he's sensing something β¦ ) You're making fun of me. ( there's no heat, no harshness to it at all, but a warm sort of fondness that is beginning to creep its way through him and absolutely has nothing to do with how many sips of wine he's taken! so don't even think it!
but. ) But β¦ all right, I'll go secure a place. ( knife who says that. who says that that isn't in some sort of military branch or another. why are you like this. ) Don't, ah. ( oh no. ) Don't be gone long? (oh no.
look. it's not cute. it's not cute at all and you had better never say as much, because he will deny it until the very end of his days, and that's going to be a very, very long time from now! so just. don't mind him shuffling off to find a nice bench or some such that is relatively barren of other people to get in the way of any private conversation that might happen β¦ or the inevitable babysitting of a drunk plant. )
I might be. [That smirk hasn't gone anywhere. In fact, it may even be getting larger. Her head cants to the side in a display of near impishness, her eyes wide and dancing with delight. She takes a step back, hand coming to rest on her hip as it juts out. Every bit of her posture screams playful. Ridiculous, even.
That... does shift in the slightest, though, when he keeps speaking. She pauses, teeth pulling her lower lip upward. She gives a nod, speaking much softer now. Like it's a secret to be kept between them.]
You'll barely notice I'm gone.
[Their conversations about vulnerability are never far from her mind. And while this might not be the most intimate thing he could have said to her, she holds his request close to her chest all the same.
Not that she gives herself any time to dwell on it. She takes a step back, then another, before all but rushing away. Girl's about to hunt down the greenest looking thing she can find in record time]
( so maybe he kind of likes that she feels like she can be like this with him; open and downright playful, something he doesn't have a whole lot of experience with but is becoming more familiar with the more time he spends with her.
impishness β¦ is a good look on her, if he's completely honest with himself. but he doesn't need to get ahead of himself, so he's going to stow those thoughts away for the time being.
she turns on her heel and all but disappears and he's left to his own devices; he steps outside, the air crisp but very pleasant on his face, perhaps because his cheeks are beginning to feel very warm β and it doesn't take him very long to find a bench set out of the way, maybe partially obscured by a bush or potted plant, and if he's ( un? )lucky, there won't be any more devil sprigs attached to them.
he sits, and he waits, and he might just take another couple of sips from his glass as he does so, letting the flavor of the wine wash over his tongue and enjoying its bittersweetness perhaps a bit too much. but maybe that's the alcohol already in his system talking, we just don't know. )
[To her credit, Meryl is very quick about hunting down her quarry. She knows she's seen some finger sandwiches going about, and so she deftly hunts down the tray for herself. She picks some that are heavy with crisp lettuce and fresh tomatoes, as well as a cheese and meat that pairs well without being overwhelming. It seems a pleasant enough happy medium.
From there, it's just a matter of finding Nai out on the balcony. She may or may not stumble on a few canoodling Dreamers, but she apologizes quickly enough and skitters away. The longer she goes without finding him, though, the more she gets a little nervous. Hopefully, Nai hadn't looked too closely at the bunch and thought she had similar intentions.
(Strange how the thought makes her stomach twist in a not so unpleasant way. She tries not to think about that too closely, though).
When she eventually does find him, the Plant hidden behind a plant, she sets the tray of sandwiches down in front of him. Then, she does indeed carefully inspect that bush for any stray sprigs. Thankfully, they're safe for now. Any kisses shared will be freely given.
Wait. What.
Anyway. She settles down beside him, an arm's length of distance between the two to ease any tension. That doesn't keep her from leaning forward, peering at his face as she adjusts to the dimmer lighting.]
[Being that she only heard of Valentine's Day a handful of days ago, Meryl has had next to zero time to properly prepare for how to celebrate with Nai. The others were easy, by virtue of them coming to her first. She doubts her dear Plant is particularly familiar with this holiday, though, which means this all falls to her.
(The question of whether or not it's too early to share in this holiday has crossed her mind repeatedly. She'd like to hope Nai won't blame her for indulging in a human holiday. They'd exchanged gifts, after all. And besides... she'd like the excuse to spend time with him anyway.)
She'd like to think she's found a suitable gift, albeit one she has to struggle to keep hold of as she meanders the castle, searching for him. She might even have an idea of how to spend the day, if they follow direction said gift would imply. But it's all a bunch of maybes and hypotheticals for now.
First things first? Actually finding the damn man. She looks rather flustered and exasperated by the time she does, as if it's his fault she's carrying around an unruly looking tray. It has a towel haphazardly thrown over it, probably to conceal someone's view.]
You - [She says, very accusatory. Again, she's blaming him for her own decisions. It's a great start.] I have something for you.
oh no what will i do -- also don't look at me tagging this first before everything else
( this is just the sort of thing that happens when you hear about a very well-known holiday or tradition that just plain doesn't exist when and where you're from β though, make no mistake, once he fully understands all the hubbub and what it's all about, he's not going to hesitate in ( at least making an effort! ) reciprocation for any efforts made in his general direction.
they may end up being less than traditional, in the general sense β¦ but it's the thought behind it that counts the most, right? yes. that is exactly right.
there's a little note of surprise that filters up from the back of his throat when she finally does find him β flipping through a book of recipes he'd happened across quite by accident, filing certain things away if he thinks certain people would enjoy them β and there really is no denying the amusement in his expression when the words that come out of her mouth sound so exasperated. like it really is his fault entirely that she has feelings that she has absolutely no control over.
his gaze passes back and forth between her face and the tray she holds, brows arching slightly upward. )
For me? What's the occasion?
no this works because now i won't forget what i planned out -
For you. [Her irritation practically melts away, the moment he speaks. It's replaced by that warm, gentle affection that's been left to grow between the two of them. It's easier now that it's out in the open. She doesn't feel like she has to tip-toe quite so heavily.]
It's... a romantic holiday. Well, not today, it was two days ago. So sorry about that. But I needed a little more time anyway.
[She nods to the tray in her arms. Of course, just as soon as said affection manifests and wipes away that irritability, embarrassment crashes in right after. The weight of the gift she has to offer feels almost too heavy now. Her fingers seem to stumble as she shifts enough of the weight to the side to use one hand to pull the towel away.
The lid over the tray is clear, protecting what appears to be 24 individual seedling starters. They're divided into six columns, four squares to each piece of flora she's offering up. Each has a small stake planted in it, carefully and meticulously labeling each and every one. Bergamot, Peppermint, Lavender and Lemon Balm all make sense to be together β they're all things you might find in tea. Even Saffron β individual bulbs that are just now poking through β makes sense in this regard. The cornflowers are the odd ones out.
"Be gentle with me," the shopkeeper had explained. It wasn't quite right, coming from her. A promise that she'll be gentle with him, however? That seems much more poetic. That and the fact that they're blue.]
You - said you wanted to start gardening. So I tried to find some things I thought might also help you with your teamaking too. Most of them are for that.
[Just don't ask about the actual flowers. It's fine.]
( he can't help but to sound just a little bit bewildered, because when it comes to the giving of gifts and things he'll never claim to be any good at him himself, and even if he's getting used to the idea of giving and receiving things from people he cares about, it. it just seems like meryl always has the most thoughtful ideas when it comes to giving things that mean something to the one she's giving it to.
it doesn't matter that she hadn't come to him on the day of the holiday she's referring to; he hadn't known about it when it was going on, what difference is it going to make that he finds out about it after the fact? ) I didn't even know of it when it was happening β¦ you don't have to apologize. ( honestly, it's the thought that counts, always, and with her, of course there's never going to be any shortage of effort to get her point across that she cares.
it makes his chest tighten in the most delightful way, and he doesn't really think he'd be able to convey that in words even if he tried.
he peers down at the tray she holds, taking in all the little seedlings and his chest only tightens further when she mentions what he'd said previously about wanting to try his hand at gardening. it's one thing for her to have remembered at all, but another entirely to have gone to such lengths to present him with something like this. )
Meryl β¦ ( he says, just a little bit breathless, just a little bit in awe. ) They're all so β¦ they're perfect. ( he reads the labels one by one, mind already swirling with thoughts on what he could put together once everything has matured enough, and if he's perfectly honest with himself, he's just a little bit giddy at the thought of experimenting further.
he takes the tray from her just in case it might be a bit heavy, peering down at the blue flowers and indicating them with a tilt of his chin. ) What are those? ( about not questioning the flowers.
[For once, Meryl doesn't argue when Nai insists she doesn't have to worry. It assuages any doubts she might have had about timing things out perfectly. Night Sky had the right idea, dedicating a day to each person. It seems far more equitable this way. And not warning him had also served to provide an added benefit β Nai couldn't insist on getting her a gift in kind.
Yet another score for Reporter Stryfe.
Unfortunately, that scoreboard promptly evens out the second he says her name. At first, she thinks she might need to apologize for her efforts, but β no. It quickly becomes apparent that the tightness in his voice is from something warm and kind, rather than anything embroiled in disdain.]
I - wouldn't go that far. I probably could have gotten more. Or planted them better, or -
[She promptly cuts off when she notices just where that gaze goes. Of course he would question it. They stood out like sore thumbs comparatively. Everything else had a use. This was just... sappy drivel that she fears might cause an issue. Briefly, she contemplates making something up, just to make it easier on them both.
Instead, she exhales slowly, closing her eyes.]
They're... blue flowers. They kind of remind of the first flora I ever saw. But more than that, they have their own little meaning. I guess quite a few flowers do. These ones are - [Her eyes crack open, only to fix themselves up upon the ceiling.] Cornflowers. Which mean be gentle with me. Only it's not that I'm asking that of you, just...
[With her arms now free, she folds them delicately around her frame, as if an embrace might keep her from absolutely embarrassing herself.]
I told you I would keep you safe, right. That when you showed that vulnerability to me, I wouldn't take it for granted. Soooo... this felt symbolic of that.
( look, now that he knows this is a thing, he might insist on getting her something as well β or keep the thought of it to himself and find something he thinks she might appreciate, since she'd gone to so much trouble to find something meaningful to him.
jury's out on what he's going to decide on, because that's going to take a lot of thought process on his part, and he's always going to want to do right by her when it comes to conveying what's on his mind. or in his heart, in this case.
he doesn't often say her name out loud, perhaps gearing more toward little one than not, and not only because he's always going to be amused by how feisty she gets when he uses it; they're both well aware that names have power to them, and he'd given her free use of his own despite having insisted that part of him had been dead for so long β well.
maybe he's had a bit of help in resurrecting it, and doesn't feel so jaded or bitter about bringing it back around now.
he shakes his head when she begins to ramble about getting more, or planting them better. ) Everything you've done for me so far has been enough, whether you know it or agree to it. Because I was never expecting anything from you in the first place. ( and. like this. he's doubly taken aback by the sensation of warmth prickling through him bit by bit, as though he were slowly lowering himself into one of the hot springs and allowing its soothing heat envelope him. full-body.
the back of his neck is prickly, and good grief he doesn't know what to do with all of this.
he continues to look down at the flowers as she gives the explanation of what they are β at least he had know they were flora, mostly because of the geraniums rem had kept when he and vash were young β and only when he sees her wrap her arms around herself does he move off to the side for a moment to set the tray down, make sure it isn't going to go anywhere, and when he returns to her she only gets the smallest warning before he ends up doing something incredibly out of character for him. ) You humans and your symbolism β¦ ( three, two, one.
he bends down just as much as he needs to sweep her up into a hold akin to a bridal carry, close to his chest with both legs draped over one arm, and he nuzzles gently into the space between her neck and shoulder as a large cat might, nose briefly pressing to the beat of her pulse before finally picking his head up again. )
I could say 'thank you' until I ran out of breath and I still don't think it would be enough. ( it's almost like he's musing out loud to himself, voice all soft around the edges, or like he's sharing a secret with her that he intends to keep between the two of them. ) For your kindness, your acceptance, your warmthβ you, in a very literal sense of the word. ( he bumps their noses together, not unlike an eskimo kiss, but without those exact words. )
[Admittedly, Meryl doesn't know what to expect of him bending down. At first, she leaps to the conclusion that he's mocking her by lowering to her level. Or perhaps he's just trying to get a more comfortable angle to thank her properly? She probably wouldn't have minded that outcome.
Not that she'll mind what happens, Eventually. Nai will have to deal with her squealing at first, and the way her fingers immediately grip at the fabric of whatever clothing he's wearing over his chest. She fixes him with a wild-eyed look, expression going from bewildered to furious to....
To touched. Despite the surprise, he's still so delicate with her. And it's hard to be angry when her skin is prickling and her heart is racing, too. She feels the wash of his breath over her skin in the brief moment it lingers, and she swears it makes her see stars.]
You don't - [She huffs, but doesn't dare shift or shy away or even scowl. Despite any appearances that she tries to put on, she doesn't want to ruin the moment. Her forehead angles so that she can brush against his. All for the sake of being that little bit closer.] You don't have to thank me. Not for something like that, at least.
[Since she's here, her hand lifts, cradling the span of his jaw.]
I care about you. I want to... not just be content, but to have good things in your life. Other things you can care for.
( as small as she is, he wouldn't have blamed her for thinking he was going either the mocking route or the stooping-down-to-her-level route, but she's going to find out soon enough that she's bzzzzt, wrong, on both of those thoughts.
he's ready for her to throw something of a fit with how he just. lends himself to the notion that he's allowed to manhandle her like that in the first place, but she's right in how incredibly gentle he is with her, and he's going to continue to be gentle until there comes a day in which she informs him that she doesn't want him to be.
( and where you want that thought process to go, you're more than welcome to take it however you like. )
he turns to nuzzle the inside of her wrist when she touches his jaw, making a low, soft, pleased noise in the back of his throat that might β¦ actually sound like something of a purr, if she were to pay close enough attention to it. sometimes plant mannerisms translate into being effectively human, don't think too hard about it.
just wait until he gets his glowy plant markings power back, and he'll pretty much be in glowstick mode around her all the time.
he drops a kiss to the inside of her wrist, then lifts his head again and presses another to the corner of her mouth. chaste and sweet, and perhaps nearly the most genuine he's ever been with her. ) You're definitely a good thing that I have in my life. ( he says quietly, but seriously, bumping the side of her nose with his. ) And unlike someone else we know, I have manners, so I am going to thank you. ( he pauses, kisses the very tip of her nose. ) Any way I see fit.
You aren't going to let this go without all of this trouble, are you? [Her tone is light, even if she does her best to come off as annoyed. She'll never stop being comforted by his words, growing ever more assured that he's been satisfied with the offering.
And really, his reaction is far from troubling. In fact, her smile β which broadens with each kiss β betrays her true thoughts almost immediately. Yes, her nose scrunches in mock annoyance, but there's no effort to shy away. His lips feel good against her skin. She feels good.]
Besides, I meant - [She huffs as their noses bump together, eyes closing as she feels the wash of his breath over her face. It isn't fair that she can't seem to put together a coherent thought right now. He's really got her on the back foot.] I meant beyond me. Something you can put your energy into if -
[She doesn't finish that train of thought. They both know that someone's presence in this world isn't guaranteed. She doesn't need to speak that potential into existence when they're otherwise having a good time.]
a fight to the DEATH
Why he thinks the two bags full of snacks and drinks is going to make any difference is a mystery to likely anyone who knows the situation. It doesn't stop him though, because like Nai, Vash is just as stubborn and unwilling to deviate from his chosen path. Said path just happens to be to keep his brother alive by feeding him.
He steps inside, ducking through the door to settle his gaze on a sight that's still strange but not unwelcome. ]
...Nai, I brought some things for you to try. [ He holds up the bags, full of convenient snacks, sweet and salty. ] There's got to be something here you'll like.
[ It's gentle prodding but there's something very steely and stubborn in Vash's voice as he holds out one bag for Nai to investigate. ]
prepare for chomps u lil twerp
yeah, to say it's been an adjustment is putting it
taco bellmildly, and that isn't even pausing to take into consideration that he's still getting used to being effectively human.vash has been pestering him to eat, to drink, to sleep like he's supposed to and it should come as no surprise to anyone involved that he's leaning hard in the opposite direction out of sheer spite. he's never needed to eat, or drink, or sleep and he's not about to start now, regardless of how adamant his body is about reminding him that he isn't the same independent he'd been before he'd taken a laser directly to the face.
when vash comes in, nai is wrapped up in the only article of clothing he has to his name ( not to mention the only article of clothing he's ever really worn, but that's neither here nor there ), looking slightly less than the hooded villain he'd made himself out to be previously but still just a liiiittle like senator palpatine with the way he's huddled up, all but curled in on himself in a vain attempt to fight off the pains in his abdomen that he refuses to acknowledge as hunger pains.
but. ruh roh. he knows that tone when he hears it β this isn't going to be easy. )
You're never going to stop your pestering, are you? ( he cares about your wellbeing, you crotchknuckle.
show some respect for your baby brother! )
9,999 years later
[ No, he's not. Not so long as they're stuck here, together, with the need to eat, drink and sleep. Vash has adjusted easily enough, he's always tended to do those things just because he wanted to. He knew this was going to be rough for Nai, one way or another.
He watches his brother in all his hooded, hermity glory, his lips set in a almost neutral frown. He looks down at the bag and lifts it up to fish through it, trying to find something that might suit his brother's tastes.
Not that he has the first clue what that might be.
So what he fishes out is something that looks suspiciously like some kind of honey bun. He opens up the package, the plastic crinkling a little as he does so. He plops down the bag and moves to climb onto the couch, crawling into Nai's personal space like some sort of uncoordinated gazelle. He holds out the package as he leans in, one hand on the back of the couch while the other holds the treat out.
Like he's trying to feed a feral dog. ]
So. Eat. [ he pauses, waggling the honeybun. ]please
shhh i'm always here
vash has always been β¦ adaptive, to be sure, rolling with things as they come at him where nai himself has always been a little too set in his ways, steadfast in his own beliefs and already older than his years when he'd only had one to have tucked under his belt. he hadn't thought this whole situation would be difficult to acclimate to β he still doesn't β even if he's beginning to understand the meaning of the phrase hunger pains.
stupid human body. he doesn't think he's ever been so disgusted by anything before.
( and your brother doesn't know what his tastes are either, vash. you'll be going on this adventure hand in hand. so to speak. )
he eyes him warily as he clamors onto the couch ( uncoordinated gazelle indeed, but it's β¦ undeniably endearing, in a way ) gaze shifting between the other's own bright blue eyes and what he holds out in front of him, the latter of which smells almost too sweet, but that doesn't stop his stomach from giving a lurch at the notion that an answer to the hunger pains problem is mere inches away from his face.
he sniffs, and it's meant to be in derision but the scent of the pastry only proves to make his mouth water. and he hates it.
stupid, traitorous human body. ) No. ( a pause. ) β¦ Thank you. ( at least he's being polite ( ??? ) about it? )
fight fight fight
[ He's not in Nai's lap, not yet, his reach still awkward. He looks down and back though despite not moving the honeybun any further away, almost like he's contemplating it to get closer. ]
I don't want to make you eat it, Nai but I will if I have to.
[ A bold statement, but a little bit of brotherly violence is worth keeping Knives alive, if that's what it'll take. As he says this he swings one long leg over Knive's waist, however that works, fully intending on settling his full weight on wherever he's managing to sit. ]
One bite. Try it.
[ No please this time. He is clearly not taking even a polite no. ]
kiss kiss -- oh wait not yet
normal for humans, he would say. and he is not.
he's probably going to stick to that line of thought for the duration of his stay in this place, never quite learning better, but. stubborn is as stubborn does.
( that isn't how the saying goes, but nobody here needs to know that. )
his eyes narrow as vash closes the distance between them, what little there is to begin with and especially with what comes out of his mouth next β ) Will you? ( he actually laughs, but it doesn't last very long. more a bark of laughter than anything else. ) That sounds a little less passive than you usually are.
( nai can't really sink any further into the couch than he has already, but when his brother swings his leg over his waist he does his level best, even if there is no denying that the space between them is negligible.
his expression doesn't change, mouth set in a firm line, eyes almost like chips of ice. ) I don't need it.
no kiss only EAT
For once, just listen to me! [ There's an edge of panic in his voice, just faintly there at the outer reaches of what he says, despite the way the words are practically growled out of him.
He doesn't want to shove the thing in his brother's face, and he's pretty sure it's not going to get into Nai's mouth unless he makes a point of helping things along. So, with his left hand he reaches down to try and pry his brother's mouth open. Stupidly, likely, considering it's the more vulnerable one of his appendages.
He probably should have used his prosthetic for this. ]
you're no fun AT ALL, VASHU
I'm not dead yet. ( he gives back matter-of-factly, resolute in his stubbornness. but you should have seen that coming, honestly. ) It is not going to be the end of the world if I don't eat β¦ whatever that is.
( never mind that his mouth is still watering, because it does smell good, but at this point he's just holding on out of spite. again, that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.
but. oh, yeah, critical error on your part for not choosing to use the prosthetic to try to get his mouth open; the thought of biting immediately filters up to the forefront of his mind, but he tries to keep his jaw clamped shut for the meantime, because he isn't the one that thinks of biting and goes through with it without flipping through any other options.
doesn't mean it isn't going to happen, though. for now, please enjoy trying to pry open the viper's jaw. or something. )
you say that NOW but wait
[ He sets the honeybun down on his brother's chest because why not, and lifts both hands up to try and pry open his mouth. It's really not working out for him despite his best efforts so.... the prosthetic hand lifts and he presses his brother's nostrils closed.
Knives may be able to deny that he has to eat, but there's only so much time he can manage to hold his breath for before he's going to realize he has to do something gross like breathing. ]
Just open up and EAT IT! [ The end of the sentence is growled low, much in the way he's spoken to at least one or two people before when his temper has really just been peeled away. ]
yes well that goes without saying now doesn't it
but he would argue that eating isn't conducive to under-eye bags. what does he know.
oh, but what have we here β
are we playing dirty, vash?
there's a strangled sort of grunt that sticks in the back of his throat when those prosthetic fingers pinch his nose closed, and pale brows furrow so tightly that they meet at the apex of his forehead, above eyes that narrow so quickly that he might as well have gone cross-eyed.
this is going nowhere fast, and while it remains painfully obvious that neither of them are going to give an inch unless they have no choice, that absolutely does not mean that nai isn't going to use everything to his advantage, even if there isn't much of one to begin with. if those flesh-and-blood fingers are still anywhere near his mouth when he opens it to take a breath?
they are one hundred percent going to get snapped at. probably more than once. )
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You BIT me?!
[ He hooks one arm slightly and slugs Nai in the side with his fist, just below the ribs. This stupid asshole just doesn't GET IT. He's going to DIE if he doesn't eat, or at least drink something. Vash glances from the honeybun to the bag and then to his brother again, the scowl on his face pretty severe for him. ]
What's WRONG with you Nai?! It's not going to kill you to try!! You're already weak!
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he didn't even β ) It wasn't that hard. ( there's an oomph for his troubles when the slug to his ribs comes, a grunt and nothing more. ) Don't you know better than to put anything vital near a predator's mouth? ( lol like you're in any position to call yourself a predator, knife.
he still sounds so eerily calm for how his brother is trying to manhandle food into his mouth; he sounds bored, actually, until you're already weak comes out of him and he growls around a sound that emerges as more of a snarl than it doesn't, and he heaves himself up so quickly and so sharply that he sends them both rolling. whether or not they go over the back of the couch is anyone's guess. )
I'm not weak! I never had to eat before this, and I shouldn't have to now just becauseβ
( because he's basically human. the words are lingering there at the forefront of his mind, but he refuses to say them. he will not. )
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Vash doesn't even seem bothered by the tumble, despite being no more or less human than his brother right now in this moment. His expression is angry though, angry simmering full of concern and frustration. After all of this THAT'S what he's concerned about?
It's fine, he'll finish that unfinished sentence for him. ]
Because you're as good as human?
[ The words are practically growled, a tone of voice he doesn't use often. Only when he's frustrated, desperate, and determined. ]
I'm not going to let you wither away because you're too stubborn to see that you're wrong!
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don't you dare finish that sentence for him, vash β
except of course he does, and as distracted ( and maybe just a little bit winded for having sent them tumbling ) as he is by his brother's weight straddling his hips, those words are enough to bring a stunted sort of snarl from the very back of his throat. matching his brother's tone vibration for vibration.
he knows he's serious, but he's not about to give up, even though he has long since realized his continued resistance is futile.
you have no idea how hard it is not to make a borg joke right now. damn everything.)How would you feel? ( he asks very suddenly, through mostly-gritted teeth, like even this much is coming too close to agreeing with you're as good as human. ) If you'd never had to eat, never had to sleep, and were told that such things made you arguably perfect? ( his followers, the plant worshippers, anyway β¦ some of them would trip over themselves to tell master knives just how perfect he was.
it was sickening, sometimes, but. there was no denying that independents were supposed to be the embodiment of perfection. at least after all the conditioning he's been through, without seeing it as such. )
And then you wake up. And you hurt. And you're tired. And there had never been any reason to warn you against it, so you had no idea what to expect. But. ( he pauses, and he realizes that his hands have come to rest against vash's thighs of their own accord. ) It made you feel less like yourself than you've ever felt.
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I guess I wouldn't know what it's like to be perfect. [ It's basically muttered under his breath, aimed away from Knives as he sets his shoulders stubbornly. When he looks back, he's managed to shove the hurt he's caused himself back into the deepest reaches of his mind. Instead, he leans down towards his brother, his hands lifting to settle at either side of his head, fingers curling over his ears as he presses his forehead to Knives' own, like he's done so many times with the tanks their sisters are in. ]
You're still you, Nai. You're still my brother. You're still...
[ Perfect. ]
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it makes his stomach churn, his chest ache when his brother looks away from him and he's reaching for him even before vash moves himself, before they're forehead to forehead nai is smoothing his own hands over the other's sides, up until he can curl them both around either side of his neck, breath caught in the back of his throat in the sort of apology there aren't the correct words for. )
That's not what I meant, Vash, I'mβ I'm sorry, that isn't what I meant at all.
( forehead to forehead now, he dares to brush their noses together in the smallest, if not entirely subtle nuzzle. ) Rem always said you were exactly as you were meant to be, and that's true. And now β¦ we're the same. ( he pauses, and nuzzles again, boldly. )
It's how we were always meant to be.
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It's like a spell, the way their noses brush together and Knives repeats words that had worked to soothe his anxieties about not being good enough from their childhood. It's hard not to turn into the touch, the nuzzling. ]
You're not any different than you were, Nai. You're still my brother.
[ THAT'S what matters, isn't it? ]
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( they're not fighting anymore, that much is worth saying it's a step in the right direction. )
he takes a moment to breathe β he's getting used to things like that, the sort of things that are autonomous for most others, like the beat of his heart at the center of his chest that seems to sync up with vash's now that they're this close. the fingers pressed lightly to either side of his brother's neck pick up the steady thrum of his pulse ( thump, thump, thump, thump ), and exhales slowly into the minimal space between them. )
At least that can't be taken away from me. ( yes, that's what really matters, and with those words out of his mouth, it's as if nothing else really does. )
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It's so bitter, and—he thinks— scared, that he turns his head to return the nuzzle from before. Just a small, comforting touch, his hands shifting to drag through the shorn short portion of his brother's hair. It's probably too much, this kind of affection, and he stops soon after he does it. ]
I wouldn't let it happen, Nai. No one.
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he is a bit calmer, now, much more so than he had been before, and it may have a little bit to do with vash's weight bearing down on him; like a weighted blanket, almost, a comforting thing that might remind him of when they were much, much younger and would curl up together while rem read them a story before bed.
well. before vash turned in. and nai had watched him sleep, sometimes, when they were that young. because a part of him had wondered what it felt like β and now that he has no choice but to find out, that part of him has filtered back to the surface, willing him to take that chance to find out.
there's a small sound that catches just behind his teeth when the affection of his brother's hands in his hair stops β it's a whine, really, but he'll deny any and all allegations to as much β and he follows it with a sigh. something knowing, but just a bit melancholy. )
There's nothing that exists that can break the bond of blood, little brother. ( vash might have reeled himself in with his open affection, but nai lifts a hand to stroke long fingers over the curve of his cheek, the bridge of his nose, the arch of an eyebrow. ) But I do appreciate the sentiment.
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I don't want to lose you either, you know. It's not like I wanted anything like that.
[ He clenches his fists a little, the action repeated again and again, like he's looking for something to do with his hands. ]
That's why I'm trying to help. But you're so stubborn and you never listen to me.
[ It's practically petulant. Sure he probably could have gone about this in a better way, but it's the thought that counts right? ... honestly, the both of them could do to learn that the method of getting somewhere does, in fact, matter. ]
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( where had the honeybun gone, anyway? if vash is flexing the fingers of both hands as he is, that means it's gone missing in action, and it's probably rolled under the couch they've just rolled over the back of themselves and lost itself to whatever dust bunnies that have made a home for themselves underneath.
rest in fuzz, you little debbie reject. )
nai sighs, a quiet thing in the back of his throat and reaches for his brother's hands, takes them in his own and rubs the pads of his thumbs over the backs of his knuckles. he's not sure what else he can try to do to appease him, not right in this particular moment, but he thinks about the other snacks he'd brought back, and wonders if the bag he'd left is still somewhere amongst the couch cushions. )
You never listen to me, either, you know. ( he says it to be funny, as a joke, and he hopes vash takes it as such. ) β¦ Where did your bag of snacks go?
( maybe. he'll actually try something. if you don't try to force feed him. )
slides in late all sorts of sheepish
I guess that's something we need to work on. [ There's a frown on his features and if his eyes look a little wet, they don't. That's no one's business. His gaze is fixed on the thumbs dragging over his knuckles and Vash thinks distantly that it's been such a long time since he and his brother had shared gentle touches like this, like the ones to his face only a little while ago. It's a little lopsided, Knives being the one to offer the soothing touches while Vash had been the one to practically send them tumbling over the ground with desperate aggression and something akin to guilt tugs at the deepest point of his stomach.
Until Knives speaks again and he blinks, looking up from their hands to look for the sack of snacks with a straightened back like a meerkat looking out for predators. ]
Table.
waves hands around don't even worry about it
( last narration checked, toji freaking fushiguro had the title of therapist held pretty steadfast. whether or not he's any good at it is anyone's guess, considering the source. )
i guess that's something we need to work on.
he's right, and he should say it again; even if his brother's eyes don't look just a little bit wet ( they absolutely do, but no one is about to call him out on it, at least not right now ), he reaches to brush the pads of both thumbs just beneath them anyway, the soft sort of motion he might have gone through when they were still very young and very new and someone had a nightmare they didn't want to talk about. )
I suppose it is. ( he says quietly, just as soft as his touch to the delicate skin just above his cheekbones, and he follows vash's gaze toward the table with a small sigh accompanied with a tap to one bony hip. ) Up. ( it's all he offers at first, and then: ) Let's β¦ see what else you've brought back with you. ( he's going to try something, all right?
but that doesn't mean he's going to enjoy it. )
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Vash isn't looking at Nai when he touches his thumbs to his face, but he does freeze in the moment, muscles slowly relaxing as the pads of his brothers thumbs try to wipe away tears that only really threatened to fall, but never did. It's weirdly familiar and somehow makes his chest ache a little, his gaze flicking to look back down at Knives with an awed confusion.
It might take him a long time to get used to touches like this, gentle and intimate in a way that's only between two people who have known each other all their lives. He almost misses the tap to his hip or the request one would toss casually at a pet rather than a sibling—but he doesn't complain, and instead he moves as asked, pulling himself up to his feet to right the couch before doing anything else.
Like he's still processing what his brother's said. Once he DOES however, he blinks at Knives, his expression carefully neutral. ]
Really?
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they're still so new at this β at least, going back as far as when they were children, and physical touch and intimacy was easy for them β and this may have started as a silly fight over an oversaturated, sugary confection, but he really is trying to get a foothold in knowing where they can go from here.
he doesn't want to move, not really, when this sort of thing feels so much more normal than it should with how estranged they've been, but. he had bid vash up, and it's his own fault for mourning the loss of his body heat and the weight of him against him when he finally extracts himself from their tangle of limbs and sets the couch upright again.
nai sits up, folding his legs beneath him in a way that makes it seem like he floats upward rather than β¦ well, executes any movement that resembles that of a human, huffs out a soft noise of ascent and nods. )
Perhaps something a bit less tooth-rottingly sweet? ( he's well aware of whom he's speaking to, but he has to try, right? )
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It's mostly junk food, actually. Sorry. [ He lifts a hand to brush through his hair, frowning as he reaches over to grab the bag with one hand. The other is quick to start rooting around, his lower lip jutting out in an exaggerated pout. In hindsight, if he wanted his brother to eat, maybe he shouldn't have bought things with his own tastes in mind. ]
I should have looked for better options.
[ He does, however pull out a bottle of water. That much, at least, he was sure to get. He holds that out, the food items inside the bag a jumbled mess. ]
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in vash's defense, how could he have bought things with nai's tastes in mind, when he's never had a need to figure out what his tastes are before now? of course it stands to reason that no one could ever have the kind of sweet tooth his twin does, and he's going to realize quickly enough that he prefers savory things instead, but. he doesn't know what he likes, or what he doesn't like, other than he's pretty sure that honey bun might have killed him. how can something that's supposed to be edible smell that sweet? it just doesn't seem plausible. or edible.
nai comes to pick through the bag a bit for himself,seeing nothing that seems even remotely appealing, even to his underdeveloped palate, but he does take the bottle of water without complaint. plants do need water, you know.
he pointedly takes a small sip while maintaining direct eye contact with his brother, re-caps the bottle and sets it back down on the table. ) Happy? ( and perhaps after a moment too long of lingering silence, he adds to the very end of that question: ) You were only concerned with getting me to eat β¦ not exactly what I was going to eat. Right? ( he shakes his head. )
I'll go with you next time.
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He should give his brother credit. Instead of being a little shit he offers Nai a softer expression, silent gratitude. In the same breath he makes his next suggestion: ]
We can go now. [ There's got to be something at one of the shops that you'll eat. He turns, stepping to look around the both of them for a moment. He grimaces at the mess they've made and immediately starts to straighten things up a little. Maybe it's nervous energy or something else that he's working off but he doesn't want to stare at his brother while he waits for his answer. ]
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( no, we aren't sorry for that and no, we aren't taking it back. you're going to have to deal with it. )
he notes the way his brother doesn't maintain eye contact, eventually turning his own gaze downward toward the table's surface and its contents, at least until vash speaks up again. he takes that silent gratitude for what it is and stows it away for some time in the future when he thinks he might need that softness. for whatever reason.
he doesn't speak up again until they've managed to make the place look like it hadn't just staved off some kind of world war, the couch back in its rightful place and everything else assuming some sort of order.
then, he breathes out a sigh. ) Now? ( almost like a small child having been told it's time to do something it does not want to do, but he had said he would go with him β¦ so. )
All right, now. But no more sweets. ( a beat of a pause, and then: ) β¦ Please.
they don't see you like i see you;
( surely neither of them had thought such an innocent game with an equally innocent premise would have seen them ending up like this; the argument is, perhaps, a little less surprising given that their first real spat since nai's arrival had been over a honey bun, but even he is a bit taken aback by how things had escalated. and so quickly.
maybe he shouldn't have pushed this far, maybe he should have held himself back from putting them into this very precarious situation β but that's the whole of it. it feels like he's been holding himself back from this for years, decades, a century and some change and it still hadn't ended well for them back then, had it? had it? with his own greed and loathing of humanity bringing his own demise down around his head like the proverbial ton of bricks.
vash pulls away β not far, just enough to take in a breath and he should do that, too, maybe β and it might not be far but it's still too much so for his liking, arms tightening around him fractionally of their own volition but then he makes himself loosen them. just a bit, just a little, because this is so tentative and he doesn't want to see his brother skittering to put some distance between them.
his face is buried against his neck, and nai's hands start to smooth over the notches of his spine in what he hopes is some kind of soothing way, something he might have done when they were both much, much younger.
the tip of his nose brushes almost absently against the soft patch of skin just beneath vash's ear, another kiss pressed to the beat of his pulse. ) Why? ( thump, thump, thump, steady and sure beneath the pressure of his lips. ) What do you have to be sorry for?
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Everything. [ The chasm that's been put between the two of them for so many years, every choice that's helped push them both further apart. This, right now. Tentative and terrifying and rocketing over boundaries and lines that he's not so sure should have been crossed for more reasons than his thoughts can sort. And yet, he makes no effort to move, to disengage from the hold they have on each other. Instead, he's pressed so close that the word is spoken against the skin of Nai's neck, his nose buried against skin like he's seeking to overwhelm his senses with the scent of citrus and aloe, something so familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time.
Nai's hands drag over the curve of his spine and Vash exhales a rough breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in. It's almost a sob, but not quite, just a rough exhale that ends with his mouth mirroring the kiss placed to his own neck. When those hands climb up higher, Vash finally finds the strength to push himself up, his own hands moving to settle on his brother's shoulders as he lifts his gaze to level a careful glance his way, searching, looking, seeking out something but not being able to ask, not wanting to ask. ]
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the boundaries, the lines they're crossing are those upheld by humans, he thinks. he understands that siblings don't generally share this kind of closeness, this kind of intimacy but he can't very well deny that it feels good, that it feels right holding his brother in his arms like this, as close as they've ever been with the beat of his heart mirrored by vash's own. it feels like this is the only way it should ever be between them, no space
left for jesusfor anything but the undeniable pull that makes them both into magnets.pulled into each other's orbit.
vash raises his head to look at him again, eyes bright, wide, open and innocent and nai wants to kiss his eyelids, the highest points of his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose. he wants to kiss his everything, he thinks, and it still wouldn't be enough. )
I'm sorry, too. ( for the last hundred years.
the plants, your stupid humans, all of it.
i just wanted you with me.
he raises one hand to smooth the pad of his thumb over his brother's bottom lip, leaning in to place another tentative kiss against the line of his mouth. soft, searching. asking for permission. )
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It doesn't fix anything, it doesn't take back what was done, or the pain and lives that were lost. But it's like a door without a handle in the wall between them suddenly has something to grip. It's a starting line, and Vash is certain because its Nai he can forgive him, he already has, he's willing to do whatever it takes if it means that maybe they can find some common ground. Maybe they can start to mend the gap between them.
I missed you.
There's an air of confusion on his face when that thumb brushes over his lip, but he only has a moment before Nai leans in with that tentative kiss. Maybe it's the uncertainty of it that has Vash lift a hand up to touch the side of Nai's face, to brush his thumb over the curve of his cheek. There's a moment, then two as Vash's thoughts tumble through his stupid addled brain and he exhales again.
Okay. The way he nods his head is subtle, the barest movement as he leans into the kiss, their lips pressing together again, half-lidded eyes slipping fully shut. He's the one who pushes for more this time, parting his lips to swipe his tongue past Nai's, even as he rises up on his knees to get a little bit of height. ]
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but things change, don't they? at the very least β¦ he's never quite thought himself incapable of changing on a certain level, only that it wasn't all that necessary, because there was nothing about him that needed changing in the first place.
part of the human condition, he doesn't realize, is knowing when you're the one at fault and not being afraid to acknowledge it. to own it. but maybe that's what happening here, and maybe this place is going to end up being good for both of them.
i missed you more than you'll ever know.
my vash.
and when his brother is the one to push forward this time, when he rises up to gain some height and licks into his mouth there's a sound that filters up from the very back of nai's throat that he can't quite tamp down, something almost-pained but wanting, teeth grazing over vash's tongue without really realizing he's putting the pressure against soft, warm muscle.
the way heat settles low in the bottom of his stomach as he reaches up with both hands to tangle pale fingers in golden hair should be embarrassing, but. it's just the two of them. there doesn't need to be any of that. )
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Right now, though, he's ok with it. This feels so much better than fighting with Nai, better than arguing and talking in circles or watching people around them die because of squabbling and his own inability to act. Vash's thoughts race, almost losing focus on the feeling of his mouth on Nai, up until the teeth on his tongue pull him back from his thoughts and the fingers in his hair yank a hum past his lips, nearly lost in the way he immediately tugs the kiss deeper. There's no blood but he's quick to retaliate given the chance, teeth catching on Nai's lower lip and biting down.
Another kiss is quickly peppered thereafter, almost like an immediate apology, a walking back of the pain he's just inflicted. ]
Nai.
[ It's muttered, hummed a little, a gentle chiding almost. Again, neither one of them has ever been good at words, at least when it comes to talking to each other, so now isn't going to be any different, especially when Vash isn't sure he trusts himself to use his words the right way. Instead, he follows up with a small smile and a brush of his nose against Nai's own. ]
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and he doubly needs people who can call him out on all of that self-deprecation when he needs to hear it.
as for what he wants; in this very moment, nai would give him anything within his power to do so, and if it just happens to be the warmth of his own body pressed against his, of his kisses, his presence, it's definitely within his wheelhouse to do as much.
the sound out of him that comes from the bite to his lip isn't one of pain, more surprise than anything else laced with β¦ something else entirely, something that brings a light flush to the very tips of his ears and the rise of his cheekbones, made so much more noticeable with how pale he is in comparison to his twin brother, and you won't say a word about it if you know better, vash. don't call him out on blushing just from a lip bite.
( please. please call him out on blushing just from a lip bite. )
his heart sings at the sound of his name out of vash's mouth, like that, and he returns the bump of nose against nose and a quick, teasing nip in retaliation because he'll never find himself above being a little shit in return for his brother's antics.
absently, one of his hands slips warm fingers beneath the edge of the other's shirt, almost tickling across the skin of his lower belly, testing, but still asking for permission. ) Vash β¦ ( against his mouth, followed by an increasingly heated kiss. )
Is this all right?
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[ It's a statement of awe, but the lopsided grin that flickers over his lips is definitely a little more shit-eating than he means to let slip. As if that wasn't enough one of his prosthetic fingers is lifted to trace over the shell of Nai's ear, over the pale and blushed skin, following the color over Nai's cheek. He's certainly taking his time to point it out, taking any new opportunity to be playful in a way he's not been able to be since they were children.
And oh, its so easy to sink right back into heated kisses that increasingly leave him breathless, the beat of his heart racing in a way that he's only recently, rarely, experienced. But then— ]
Wait. [ A wave of panic rises from his stomach, washing out the warmth that had been tentatively swirling there moments before. It pulls Vash out of the most recent kiss, his own cheeks dusted red even though his expression is now an alarmed grimace. ]
...You don't want to. [ Fingers twitch at Nai's shoulder for a moment before they move, his hand flicking down to tug at the hem of his shirt. He sinks back down, the first step in retreating as he turns his head away, the angle of it making it hard to see where he's looking thanks to the weird semi-reflective properties of his glasses.] I'm not...
[ He spares a quick glance out of the corner of his eyes at his brother, his perfect, pale, ideal example of what an Independent can be. There's not a single scar, wound, patch of marred skin that Vash regrets, but he knows what they look like. He's seen the reaction people have had to his body the rare instances that he's let someone see. But Nai? Maybe it's better if he never sees, better if it's left as an uncomfortable partial unknown. ]
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the coolness of his prosthetic fingers feels nice against his heated skin, though, there is no denying that; it's been said before that nai has always felt as though he ran too cool to liken his body to that of a human's, and he isn't sure whether it's because of how he's changed in this place or the simple fact that vash is as close as he is, and he's soaking up his warmth in turn. but it feels like he might just burn up from the inside out, and if he's perfectly honest, he'd be okay with that.
but then vash is pulling away, putting distance between them and it might not be much, but nai hates it. he might not fully comprehend the state of his brother's body, old scars and new ones alike mapping him out with all the things he's let the humans do to him for the sake of trying to help them, and while he wouldn't blame him for being self-conscious over such a thing, he can't help but to think β )
Not what?
( he murmurs quietly, reaching up almost as an afterthought to pluck his glasses from the bridge of his nose and set them aside, hopefully not to end up lost or broken; his eyes are so much brighter without the tinted lenses in the way, and nai brings both of his hands back up to either side of his brother's face, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones, expression as soft as it's never been before this. ) Perfect?
Yes, you are.
( but he doesn't press forward, not yet, even as he's kissing him again with nothing but the heated pres of his lips and the slick slide of his tongue, a silent plea of trust me lingering in between every beat of his heart behind his ribs. )
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Any protest he had ready is lost immediately the moment Nai's lips are back on his. Vash hesitates, hands settled on his brother's chest for a moment like he's going to push away, going to retreat and escape back to his room— but he doesn't. It takes a moment, but as the kiss lingers and Vash slips into it his tense posture relaxes, the palms of his hands sliding up over muscle and the line of Nai's clavicle, and over his shoulders to loop together. His body leans in, arching against Nai's lap, the upset crease of his brow slowly unpinching.
When he takes a moment to breathe, lips barely parted enough to do so, his eyes stay half lidded. It might have been wordless, but maybe between the two of them it's almost second nature to understand the meaning in wordless gestures. ]
Okay. [ Tenative as it is, he'll give Nai the trust he seems to be pleading for. ]
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and when he looks at him now, wide-eyed and unsure of what he's supposed to expect from a brother that had, up to now, only gone in search of vengeance for all the things he'd lost he wants nothing but to reassure him. bring him in and keep him close and remind him that it's all right, everything is going to be all right and they can finally pick their pieces back up and work on gluing them back together.
vash says okay, and it's the only incentive he'll ever need to keep moving forward; one hand slips back down to the hem of his shirt, fingers curling over the rise of a hipbone possessively for a moment, letting blunt fingernails drag over the sharp bump of bone beneath warm skin just to see what kind of reaction it might get him. he's being soft, gentle, yes β because vash deserves that much β but there's a possessiveness in him that can't be watered down. not when he has the object of his affection quite literally in his lap.
his other hand smooths back around to the base of his spine, gently kneading at the bottommost vertebra there and then boldly sliding down to the curve of his ass, encouraging him to arch against him again as he seeks to suck on his tongue. )
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It had been painful to run. Terrifying to sever a connection that ran so deep. But he'd done it, and he'd done it to protect people he knew would wind up hurt because of them. Because of the anger he'd seen in his brother's eyes. But as he looks now, he sees none of that, only a face that looks far more similar to a boy he remembers all too clearly from those days on the ship, the stars in the background.
It makes his chest warm in a completely different way than the Nai is touching him warms him. Wandering hands feel scalding -- a sensation that Vash is certain is his own reaction to touch rather than the temperature of Nai's hands. It's a one-two punch when nails dig into skin and another hand drags over his ass and it's all that he can do to temper the moan that tumbles into Nai's mouth as a result.
Mismatched hands shoot up to tangle in bright blond hair, and this time they pull, and they pull hard, yanking at the roots of the strands. His hips roll forward into that possessive hold, seeking out the sting of it but also the warmth and friction of the body (his brother's body) underneath him. It's almost too much, for someone like Vash, still yet unused to gentle touch or the way it makes his heart races to hammer in his ears. ]
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like this, it's easy to think that they're always going to come back around to one another, whether they're consciously aware of it or not. like this, aligned near-perfectly from shoulder to hip with wandering hands and lips pressed to lips, it's easy to forget that they had ever been apart for so long in the first place.
vash might try to temper that moan when it comes out of him, and it might not be as loud or as full as nai realizes he desperately wants to hear but it slithers beneath the surface of his skin anyway, makes a home for itself in his blood and sets it to near-boiling. something so small, and still something he hadn't had before, and he β )
Do that again.
( given almost at the same time as fingers tangle in his hair and pull and the sound that comes out of him is more sensation than anything, still something that edges on a snarl as his fingernails drag over skin again, more sharply this time, enough to leave the lightest pink welts in their wake. his head bows, presses into the space between neck and shoulder and he bites at the beat of his pulse this time, the hand on his ass pulling him closer, or maybe just keeping him solidly in place as his own hips press upward, instinct taking over for a lack of experience.
he just wants to feel him. )
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He bites down on his own lip hard enough to draw blood, arching his neck to give Nai room where he is. It's frustrating almost, the way he's held still and made to feel the press of Nai's hips instead of seek it out himself. It's not on command, but another whine escapes from his mouth and this time its uttered right into his brotherβs ear. The welts at his hips sting, highlighting the path his brother's hands have taken over his skin where his shirt has certainly been pushed up and over scars and wounds long healed. Earlier, Vash had a mind to be self conscious about the state of his body being exposed but now he feels all too hot in the confines of his turtleneck.
Greedy. Selfish. Donβt want so much. That ugly little voice doesnβt seem to shut up despite his stubborn determination to ignore it. It wiggles around in the back of his thoughts, pushing and pressing against the heated swirls driving his actions right now. Is it selfish to want this, right now? To want it ever? To seek out these kind of indulgent, intimate touches, to feel a little smug that heβs had such a clear effect on the brother that up until now always seemed collected and determined and in control?
He shifts his flesh and bone hand from its grip in Naiβs hair, smoothing fingers over the curve at the back of his skull and down the back of his neck. He skims his hand over the line of that stupid body suit and back down over his shoulders to press his palm against the swell of his brotherβs chest, feeling the muscle there for one self indulgent moment before his touch continues to travel, down an arm, over his wrist and finally where Naiβs grip rests, pushing into skin thatβs already red from the drag of short nails. He doesnβt hesitate this time, gently guiding Naiβs hand up beyond the cloth of his top and over the expanse of skin underneath. ]
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addicted to him.
that whine brings another low sound out of him, an effective growl that claws its way up from the back of his throat and leaves it aching and raw on its exit, and even as vash's hand is guiding his own he's reaching to push the fabric of his shirt higher, higher still until he tug the offending fabric up and over his head. to leave him bare from the waist up, pink and silver scars and all and for a moment, nai finds himself dazed. struck dumb by the miles of pale skin in front of him that has already been marked by the presence of others.
but not by him.
it might be selfish to want this, on both their parts but he can't help the way his hands are already roaming over rough, uneven skin, breath caught in the back of his throat because look what they've done to you, my beautiful brother, look at you β but it doesn't make him any less, it doesn't take away from anything and if he stops to think about it for longer than a handful of seconds, it makes him positively feral. )
βVash.
( his next exhale is raspy, rough around the edges as he fits the fingers of both hands between the slats of his ribs, pulling him close and licking the taste of blood from his mouth, sucking at the cut on his lip to make it bleed more. ) Beautiful, beautiful boyβ
My Vash.
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It's funny how he can feel so exposed and cold, but everywhere Nai touches feels like it's being undone, like it's being set aflame despite all logic. It's all he can do to hold still underneath his brother's piercing gaze, the intensity of it making Vash squirm a little where he's seated. But it doesn't stop there and even as Nai leans in and kisses him again, worrying that split lip in a way that makes him a little dizzy he starts talking, compliments and praise and claim—
He can't take it. If the staring wasn't enough, the words that tumble out of Nai's mouth definitely are, spilling over into too much, too embarrassing, words he doesn't deserve. Not from his brother, not from ... anyone. Vash lifts his flesh and bone hand up to press over Nai's mouth even as he shrinks back, his face flush from his ears and clear down his neck. ]
Stop, Nai that's enough. [ He pauses, taking in a deep breath and focusing on the feeling of Nai's fingers on his skin, resting over scars and ribs. He manages the smallest smile as he leans in, pressing kiss-swollen lips to the back of his own hand, ghosting where Nai's mouth should be beyond that. ] It's embarrassing.
[ He'd be a liar if he didn't admit a small part of him reveled in the praise, though. But that's his secret. Since he has the moment, however, Vash takes the opportunity to lift one of Nai's hands up with his free hand and he presses a kiss to the wrist, a little splotch left in the wake of the affection as he fits another at the heel of his palm and again further in. ]
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( the words come out of him muffled, pressed to the center of vash's palm where it rests over the line of his mouth, and his brows furrow with the separation, the sudden distance between them. he wants them to be as close as they can be, as close as they've never been, at least not like this.
he lets vash move one of his hands, and the one that hasn't been claimed by a soft, sweet kiss to his wrist brings the other's own away from his mouth, linking their fingers together and, quite frankly, admiring how they look together. ) No one's ever said anything like that to you before β¦ have they?
( he doesn't like to think of how he would react if the answer happened to be yes; of course vash hasn't belonged to him since they were children, or rather they haven't belonged to each other since then, and a long, long time has passed since they were still small enough to fold themselves into a singular bed and have room to spare, spindly legs and all.
anyone else being this close, having vash like this doesn't sit well with him, but he's going to stop his line of thinking right there, because it has no place here. not when he's working on trying to mend that chasm between them.
so: ) You should know how beautiful you are. Haven't you looked in a mirror lately?
( the question is rhetorical, of course, and he tries to push his way forward enough to press the softest kiss to the column of his throat. )
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[ Nai doesn't have to try very hard to reach his goal, really. Vash yields easily enough, keeping their tangled fingers together in favor of dropping his hold on Nai's other hand to settle one back on the back of his neck again. The touch of lips to skin that's usually covered gets the hair on the back of his neck to stand up on end, and a sigh to slip past parted lips.
This isn't nearly as heated as things seemed to have been tumbling towards just a few moments earlier, but it's nice. It's gentle, it's comforting. It feels a little like he's having some wish fulfillment dream, and it's so, so easy to relax and lean into it, to crane his neck just enough to make room for Nai to exist there. The pads of his fingers press into the muscle of Nai's neck, rubbing small circles there at the base of his skull and then down lower in slow, deliberately affectionate touches. He stops after a moment though, his fingers toying with something hard and small that feels attached to the strange bodysuit he's literally never seen his brother remove.
He pulls at it, only vaguely surprised when it gives and he realizes what he's found. He should have figured, considering the state of this place, that Nai's clothes were much more simple(?) than he'd thought they'd be. But, discovery aside, Vash pulls the little zipper latch down and once he can he slips bare fingers underneath the cloth to brush calloused fingers over skin he's certain he's never even seen before. ]
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he's just speaking the truth, here. he has been since the beginning of all of this and while it's brought them closer, vash is right in thinking it had been so much β¦ sharper a moment before. a shade more desperate and he'd be lying to himself and vash and god himself if he tried to get away with saying it hadn't been exhilarating. that desperation, that need to have the other body close, to have and taste and test every boundary set by humanity.
because they are not human. and such rules of boundaries shouldn't apply to them, should they? but that line of thought is neither here nor there.
he nuzzles at his neck, sweetly. ) You should be told that all the time β¦ I would, given the chance. ( some might say there is some kind of hopeless romantic in this murderer of a man, and some might be right, though it never seems to quite come to the surface except for when his brother is around. funny, that.
he dips a little bit lower, attention to the shared conversation wavering in favor of mouthing over the line of an exposed collarbone, mapping out the shape of it, the feel of it beneath his lips and the sweep of his tongue, the gentlest press of his teeth that is nowhere near a bite or a nip. just a scrape, really, because sometimes he can't help himself.
it's enough to distract him from the way vash pulls at the zipper now at the back of his suit; something he'd never needed before but is keenly aware of now, and the sound of the slow, downward drag of metal teeth has him flexing his shoulders. bidding β asking vash to touch him where he never has before, where no one else has before, a quiet, infinitesimal gasp filtering up from the back of his throat at such simple contact.
in return, his tongue dips into the space between his collarbones, his teeth bearing down just enough to leave the hint of an indent that will surely fill back in before this is over β but he quickly follows suit with the suction of his mouth, bringing blood to the surface and encouraging a light purple mark to make a home for itself there. a waypoint between the places he's been, and those he hasn't been allowed to touch yet. )
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You don't have to... [ The thought of it though, lights a blush renewed across Vash's ears, his imagination running a little with the sound of his brother's voice in his ear, whispering ridiculous, embarrassing words right at the curve of it. It's not something that he would have dreamed of imagining before, but after today, after he's experienced such a gentle, soft side of his twin, it's all too easy to get caught carried away in his thoughts.
But reality is much sweeter, as it turns out. Vash would have been all too happy to focus on the sensation of lips against skin, but it's the sound that Nai makes, so startled and a little vulnerable and soft. It's something he'd never really considered when his brother came to mind, even less so when in conjunction with himself. He turns his head to press a kiss to his brother's temple, or his hair, whatever it is he can reach. Something in his chest aches a little bit, the heat of it rekindling something from before they'd taken a pause to actually talk a little.
The way Vash twists his hand free from their tangled grasp is a little hurried in hindsight, but it's followed up with a suddenly very breathy, very interested apology. Sorry, brother, holding your hand is nice but— he pulls the zipper down over where it rests over Nai's spine and ends somewhere around his mid-back. Vash doesn't check to see if it's pulled all the way down, instead, he's busy sliding his hands beyond the fabric to touch cool, pale skin with the palms of his hands.
He's so acutely aware of the imbalance of their current clothing situation as he feels the sensation of Nai worrying a bruise to his collarbone, so he curls his fingers inward, dragging his blunt nails up over freshly exposed skin back to where the body suit is now loose around Nai's shoulders. When he speaks this time, the tone of it is different. It's softer somehow, but maybe a little breathless. ]
Nai, off. Please. I want to see.
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well. it should be embarrassing, really. but he's never known anything close to shame, and that could very well be a plant thing β not so given to the whims and wills of mankind, as it were β but it could also be the fact that he's spent the bulk of his time secluded, and doesn't know any better.
little from column a, little from column b. that's where we're leaving it. )
I don't have to, no. But I want to.
( even in passing, when they're passing by one another in their tiny, shared space, even with wolfwood not too far away he could lean in to whisper sweetly against the shell of his brother's ear; you're beautiful, you're lovely, you look good enough to eat and perhaps it will only be because he'll find himself starving after this. willing to give in to a sense of hunger his body informs him of, though a hunger for vash seems much, much more preferable to the need to consume actual food.
( is he still bitter about that? just a little. he'll get over it eventually. )
he takes that breathy apology with a low chuckle in the back of his throat in response, having a feeling of where wandering hands are going once the zipper is pulled near the end of its track. ( the very end of it is somewhere near the top of his ass, but that's for vash to find out for himself, if he wants β )
he sighs at the first touch of fingers against cool skin, shoulders rolling and flexing beneath their light pressure and he only pulls back from the worrying of the bruise at his brother's collarbone when that request comes, and it's his turn to blink a bit owlishly at it, ice chip eyes blown wide and dark with both wonder and want.
leaning in to brush another kiss over the line of vash's mouth, he shrugs the fabric down off of his shoulders in one smooth motion, pushing it down to pool around his hips and leaning back β purposely β with something this side of a shit-eating grin pulling his mouth upward. it's all pale, unmarked skin from his neck all the way down, save for perhaps a light dusting of freckles over his chest and stomach. a constellation of tiny waypoints over a pale, otherwise unmarked canvas. )
You're going to have to get up if you want to see more.
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What's that look for? Don't be annoying.
[ It's funny how easy it is to slip back into a back-and-forth that is so eerily reminiscent of how they interacted as kids. Vash leans back a little as he very blatantly takes an eyeful of the sight in front of him. He's folded his arms across his chest, fingers drumming against the skin and metal of his arms as he exhales a hum. It'd give Nai too much satisfaction to admit just how dry his mouth goes at the sight, or just how badly he wants to touch, fingers clenching against his arms in an effort to hold up his annoyed front.
He shifts in his spot, not relinquishing his spot on Nai's lap as his gaze lingers on one particular cluster of freckles that he's pretty sure he could trace into the shape of a cat's face. He's still grumpy though, so instead of anything gentle, he unfolds his arms from over his own chest to reach out towards his brother. Unceremoniously, he claps both hands against his ridiculously unmarred chest and shoves with his full strength, tipping the both of them forward and hopefully ending up with Nai sprawled on his back and Vash? On his knees, still straddling his brother's hips. ]
I don't think I have to get up at all.
[ Without moving where he's so firmly planted his hands, Vash leans in, pressing a slow but brief kiss to his twin's lips. Maybe it's an apology for the way Nai's head likely cracked against the floor of the mushroom house, but it's also a bit of a distraction as Vash shifts his body weight to slide lower, lips moving away from Nai's mouth to press another kiss to that strangely feline smattering of freckles. He flicks his eyes back up towards where he's left his brother's gaze, but painfully slowly drags his lips lower, over the curve of his pecs and pale skin. Maybe it's an intrusive thought or an attempt at making a point but it isn't long after he dusts gentle attention over what he can reach that he leans in and bites, teeth pinching skin with a laugh. ]
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did you think he would? and do you presently think he's going to let you get away with that pout, pretty as it is, without laying at least one more nip against the line of your mouth? ) What look? ( he ends up asking mock-innocently, bumping their noses together again. ) I've no idea what you're talking about.
( he's very suddenly gone deaf. shame, that.
but there's a low, simmering heat that makes a place for itself once more in the pit of his stomach as vash looks at him, practically drinks him in and he is going to be smug about that, though it stands to reason that his brother will have his own turn in time β or would, if he were the sort β because once nai gets him out of every stitch of clothing he has on his person, he's going to worship every single inch of him. top to bottom, bottom back up to top and everything in between, because he deserves to have the weight of caring hands on his skin.
loving hands. and in his own way, that's all nai has ever done. love him down to the marrow of his bones, even if he realizes that it's been in the wrong way. he's going to fix that. he's going to fix them β
so enraptured is he by his brother's gaze on him that it gives the younger the advantage he both wants and needs; nai does end up on his back, blink dazedly and almost owlishly up at the other as he remains upright, stunned enough to not give any immediate response, though it wouldn't have been a negative one even if he'd managed it.
he β¦ likes the view he has from this angle. still with his thighs on either side of his hips, hands pressed tight to his chest, yes β¦ he finds he doesn't mind this in the slightest.
his head might have bonked against the floor a bit, yes, but he accepts that apology* kiss for what it is and allows himself to get all wrapped up in the feeling of those soft lips moving lower, mapping him out as he wants to, in turn, and ends up so deliciously distracted that the bite brings a startled almost squawk out of him, especially with that laugh. you little β )
Gremlin. ( he breathes, but it isn't a hiss, and it sounds strangely affectionate. a word they'd learned from one of the many storybooks rem had read to them as children, this one in particular describing a playful, impish sort of thing that may or may not be trusted. his eyes narrow, but it's nothing but playful. )
Pleased with yourself?
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Like he's going to wake up back on Noman's Land, with the dust and the heat and he's going to scream. But he very purposefully tears his thoughts away from that, his expression dropping only momentarily before it's replaced again with something for Now.
The chuckle Nai's reaction gets out of him is definitely impish, the sound colored by the way he tilts his head to one side, the mess of blond locks on his head flopping with the motion. The expression on his face makes the corners of his eyes crinkle, the finest of lines dusting across the bridge of his nose in the same way. It's little things like these that those sunglasses so easily tuck away and keep private, little micro-expressions that he's so prone to having. ]
Mm. Maybe. [ He's never had this kind of advantage before over his brother. He thinks for a moment, letting his hands slide lower over the taught muscles that make up his brother's torso, and lower still over the ones that lead down over his abdomen. This way, his hands are practically resting where his legs straddle Nai, the half-discarded body suit already tangled there too. ] You started it.
[ As if to make a point he very carefully, pointedly arches his neck to expose the bite mark that's bloomed over his neck (even though he hasn't seen it, he knows it's there), the purple splotch at his collarbone only a short distance away. It's only fair, if he gets to make his own mark. He'll even be generous and keep it to one (for now) considering that Nai's skin is so pristine. But what he does do is shift down, possibly not quite as gracefully as one could, but close enough— and he presses another kiss to his brother's stomach, above his navel, just where the muscles swell then dip down.
It's his hands that are mischievous this time, gliding over the lines of Nai's hips, fingers curling into and tugging at that stupid, half-unzipped body suit. His lips find soft skin just above fabric and he presses a very pointed kiss there, teeth dragging over the spot like he's trying to see what kind of new, exciting reaction he can garner. ]
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perhaps this place isn't so terrible, after all. even if he's still learning his way around being human. it isn't something he thinks he's likely to ever get truly used to.
he reaches up to thread pale fingers through golden hair when his brother's head tips to the side, as that laugh comes out of him; it's one more reason to touch him, really, without there needing to be a reason behind such a simple thing in the first place, but then β¦ vash had always been the tactile one, hadn't he? so easy and open with his affection toward himself and rem that there had been enough physical touch to go around for the three of them combined.
he's learning that he likes the simplicity of touch. fingers in hair, the brush of knuckles over skin warmer than his own. the press of lips against lips that he has already found he doesn't want to go without, now that he's gotten a taste of them.
and even with all this softness, it doesn't keep him from clicking his teeth in the other's direction. not sharply, or threatening by any means. he's playing in his own way. ) Does that mean you intend to finish it?
( the question comes out of him in a lower rumble than his voice had been a moment earlier, eyes already gone hooded and a shade or two darker in the interim. his gaze passes over the mark at his neck, the one at his collarbone and shifts into something possessive, because yes, i did that, those are the marks of my teeth and they belong on you.
and yes, fair is fair, in the long run. vash is more than welcome to leave his share of marks across the canvas that is his brother's body if he wants. he'll find no complaints here.
the kiss above his navel makes his stomach muscles tighten, tense beneath the press of his mouth but it isn't out of any measure of discomfort; more to the point, it's in anticipation that he watches every little minute shift of movement as vash maps out the lines of him, fingers dipping beneath fabric and exposing more of him with each passing second, and there is no denying the way he pushes slightly upward into the drag of his teeth.
a small sound catches in the back of his throat, and it's not quite a moan, but ir's getting there. ) You're teasing. ( it's supposed to sound accusatory β¦ but it comes out just this side of breathless. )
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Okay.
So maybe he's teasing on purpose. Who can blame him? It's thrilling to have the upper hand, even for just a moment. Especially for something like this. Especially with someone like Nai. It makes his heart beat a little faster to know he's getting this kind of reaction out of his twin brother, the thrill of it enough to override the rumble of nerves he's been pointedly ignoring. ]
Sorry. [ He's not sorry. He does a show of ducking his face to the line of Nai's hip, almost meant to be bashful but it's just an attempt to hide the grin stretching over his mouth. He makes a point to nose over the dip of Nai's hip, peppering kisses and nips over the line that disappears behind that increasingly infuriating fabric.
Eventually, Vash has to shift his body lower, settling his body in between his brother's legs after basically almost bullying a spot for himself there. If he'd had plausible deniability before, with the way he settles where he is, there's little he could do or say to hide what his intentions are while he's down here. His hands slide down to settle at Nai's hips as he ghosts a warm breath right over the shape of what he knows is still hidden underneath that mottled jump suit.
Vash's eyes flick up from where he is, from where they're focused and fixes a heated gaze on his brother. Nai had been feeling playful before, but Vash wonders what thoughts are running through his head now. It's the lightest touch when his mouth drags over that skin tight suit and his eyes only briefly (shyly) glance away from where he keeps it locked on what he can see of Nai's face. There's a lot of confidence in his posture and actions, but it isn't as though this is something he's done before. It's still new, unexplored territory. ]
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( oh, how the turns have tabled, mister several kitchen utensils. you reap what you sow, et cetera, et al. )
the very fact that it's thrilling for vash to have the upper hand like this is. well. perhaps thrilling for them both, because if he's perfectly honest? it's a good look on his brother; golden skin flushed against the paleness of his own, the way he ducks his head to hide his grin is almost infuriating, but it's really more endearing than anything else, and if the fingers in his brother's hair tug a bit more sharply at that apology than strictly necessary. hm. have you forgotten who you're dealing with? )
You are not. ( he finally says out loud, breath hitching with each press of lips to exposed skin, the promise of something more always at the edge of everything, and he's sure by the end of it he'll have gone completely mad with how badly his twin makes him want. ) Don't lie to me. You've always been awful at it.
( a truth he'll gladly give over, even though it does nothing to get him anywhere near to having the upper hand again; he swallows, throat just short of audibly clicking with it as vash's mouth teases over the shape of him over the cover of fabric, fabric that may leave little to nothing to the imagination as far as they've gotten, because there is no denying that he is β¦ intrigued.
that's putting it mildly, of course. a few desperate, sweet kisses and bites already have him almost achingly hard and wet between his thighs, and if it were anyone else, he might feel a little bit bashful, embarrassed for wanting this much. but because it's vash?
the sound he lets slip this time is nothing short of a moan. rough and grating and abbreviated because he catches himself, yes, but there nonetheless. )
Vash.
( a plea without really being one, it's all the permission his brother should need to follow through with whatever he has going on inside that beautiful head of his. )
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But oh, does the sound that he manages to wrangle out of his brother does something to him. His heart beats a little faster, a little harder, the feeling of it making him a little lightheaded. They're both as human as anyone else here is right now, so perhaps it's with a little earned dexterity and determination that he's able to pull the rest of that fabric down and over his brother's hips, shuffling a little to discard that stupid bodysuit off somewhere else in the tiny main room of the mushroom house with much less care than his own glasses had been given.
There's a moment where he just stares, eyes darkening with unhidden want and desire he hadn't really given a second thought before today. Perhaps it was something else entirely before a little while ago, before their lips had been on each other and Vash had felt something with in him tug him sharply towards the one person in the world he was already forever tied to. But that doesn't matter right now, not when they've so clearly stumbled into this together. Vash finds what he wants to focus on is right in front of him. What he sees in front of him is just as familiar as it isn't, they're twins, and while so much is different it's also the same.
When Vash settles back where he was he turns his face to press a kiss to more pale skin, this time along the inside of his brother's thigh. ]
Nai?
[ It's permission but also Vash feels like pressing for a little more, needling, angling for Nai to voice what he wants. Another kiss is pressed further up, one of Vash's hands settling against Nai's leg while the other drags the backs of his knuckles over the hard length of his twin's cock. More teasing, more flirtatious touches—but Vash has never really been mean and especially not to his brother. He can't really, truly keep it up for too terribly long. Flesh and bone fingers finally finally slip lower, gliding over where Knives is already wet.
Vash finds himself biting down on that same abused spot on his lower lip, absently splitting the angry flesh again as he strokes fingers over folds and spreads that wetness up and over the rest of him to make it easier for his hand to slide up over the (frankly intimidatingly large) size of him and back down. The touch of it is deliberate and purposeful as he watches Nai from his higher vantage point, to drink in the reactions he so desperately wants to see. ]
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( he doesn't deserve a redemption arc, not really, but for vash's sake β¦ the sake of perhaps returning to how they once had been and go beyond that, he thinks he might do anything.
not that they haven't already ventured so far past how they had been before everything had fallen apart. but that goes without saying by now, doesn't it? )
he raises his hips to aid in the removal of that damned suit the rest of the way, all at once feeling overexposed and vulnerable but thinking that if there was ever anyone he knows he could trust to see him like this and not take advantage, it would be vash. it could only ever be vash and there has never been any doubt about that, though even with that revelation, he almost feels compelled to try to close his legs. shield himself, even when β
look at me. only look at me, vash.
it's dangerously possessive and he knows it, but they've been inextricably tied to one another since the moment they'd taken their first breaths, before that. before they'd even been born. it was the two of them and after that, there was nothing. he wants that closeness again so badly that he swears he can taste it.
lips against the inside of his thigh makes the heat building in the pit of his stomach simmer even higher, a shuddering breath in through his teeth that gives away so, so much more than he's letting his expression betray; it's undeniable with the evidence right there in front of his brother, how hard he is, how slick he is from just a few kisses and scattered touches and yes, having never been touched like this by his own hands much less another's has much to do with it, the bulk of it β¦
it's vash.
his cock twitches against the flat of his stomach when the other's knuckles graze over him, breath catching sharply in the back of his throat and even before that touch moves downward to collect his own wetness on the pads of slender fingers, his moan betrays him where his expression had remained mostly firm. mostly.
low and rough, raw with the depth of it nai peers down the length of his own body, pupils blown wide and dark and almost glassy with want. he swallows hard, the fingers that had been tugging at his brother's hair slipping down to brush over his split lip, thumb pressing over the cut itself. )
Touch me? ( finally comes out of him, though instead of a demand it's more of a question, another plea without the actual please, and he absently sweeps his tongue over his own bottom lip as though it might return some measure of moisture to his bone dry mouth.
it does not. ) Don't justβ
( here he is, big bad millions knives practically begging for his brother to touch him properly. ) Stop teasing.
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He turns into the press of Nai's thumb to his lip, pressing a soft kiss to the pad of it before he leans away and in one smooth motion gives Nai what he's asking for. His mouth finally finds the core of his heat, the flat of his tongue swiping up over the folds of his pussy.
Like this, gaze focused on what he's doing, Vash's nose bumps against the base of Knives' cock, grinding over the sensitive skin as Vash does his best to pay attention to the rest of him, wastes no time in letting one touch of his tongue glide up higher, his mouth gone again just as quickly as he dives back towards his original goal. He's quick to avoid letting any part of his brother feel neglected, the fingers of one hand wrapping around him and dragging up over the size of him and back down in a motion he's found works for him at the very least.
He has to come up for air eventually, though. ]
Blue, huh...? [ It's a little funny he'd be remarking on the color, especially considering that as he does he drags his lips against Knives again, his hand still languidly stroking over him. Honestly, considering the pleased cat-caught-the-canary look on his face, there's a couple of pegs he needs to be knocked down from. ]
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that's just how the pieces fall, isn't it?
he doesn't want vash to push his own pleasure aside, a thought lingering somewhere in the back of his mind that he wants to explore just as much as the other is, now, given the chance. he wants to touch, to taste, to map out the lines of him with lips and teeth and tongue and fingers and if he is already aching as much as he is now, vash has to be much the same, doesn't he?
is he as hard as he is? wet as he is?
the thought alone is enough to drag another muffled sound from the back of his throat, something that ends up even more strangled and almost pained as his brother's tongue finds his core, his center and he would hate how needy it makes him seem if he had enough functioning braincells left to care.
his thighs tense again, spreading even further apart of their own accord as if to invite vash closer than he already is, and damn everything, the next sound out of him might as well be a whine for how strained, how thin it is.
blue, huh?
that whine turns into a growl that catches just behind his teeth, something just this side of rough because how are you commenting on something like that? now? but he supposes it's not entirely out of context, because they've never had a chance to explore each other's bodies like this.
he clicks his teeth, though there really isn't any heat behind it, especially when it's accompanied by a subtle upward roll of his hips, unconsciously seeking out the heat of his brother's mouth. )
Is itβ that surprising? ( he's β¦ almost panting, but he can't let vash just make a comment without following up with something of his own, even if there isn't a whole lot of ammunition in his arsenal at the moment. fingers thread back through blond strands and pull hard at the end of his question, more to make a point than anything else, because he does not want to pull him away from the core of his heat by any means.
nails drag over his scalp, the back of his neck, sharply enough to leave marks against his nape in their wake. ) Vash, I wantβ
( he tries very, very hard not to sound so needy when the words come out of his mouth, but it's anyone's guess whether or not they actually do. )
I want to feel you, too. ( he doesn't say come here just yet, but it's there on the back of his tongue even as his nails scrape again. he's trying to be patient, to let his brother take his time and do what he wants, but he's also more than a bit of a selfish bastard and wants what he wants. when he wants it. )
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Someone who isn't as familiar with Knives might find the state he's currently in strange, alarmingly vulnerable and unlike him. But Vash knows better. Even after over a century of being separated, pushed to opposite sides of a moral question, Vash feels as though he can read his brother better than he ever could before. Perhaps it's just for him that Knives is easy like this, he's always been different with him than with anyone else. Perhaps it had been why Vash never really wanted to give up, wanted so desperately to get him to see things from his perspective. ]
You will. [ But not yet. Is the simple answer, though the way Vash watches his brother is intense in a way that is deeply observant, even as nails drag down over his scalp and neck. He's like a cat, arching into the touch and the pain of it, a breath exhaled past his lips. He doesn't move to leave where he is though, despite the implication in words left unsaid by his twin. Instead, his mouth finds the head of his cock, previously intense gaze drooping to something half-lidded as he swirls his tongue over the tip and slides more of him into the warmth of his mouth.
One hand rests against the inside of Knives' thigh, the thumb of it pressing soothing circles into the skin there as he takes a minute to breathe in deep through his nose. Maybe in a way, the touch is meant to soothe his own nerves as much as it's meant to for his brother, the way his stomach rumbles with butterflies and electric zings. He's heard the sounds Knives is making, he's almost certain that what he's doing is being enjoyed, but there's that little bit of uncertainty. It has him lifting his gaze to watch again as he finally starts to bob his head in achingly slow motions.
Vash slides cool prosthetic digits lower, circling around his hole but not quite pushing in, not at first. Not yet. He figures it might be a little overwhelming, a little too much. But even as he watches Knives carefully, there's a wordless question in his gaze, mouth clearly too occupied to voice it. ]
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so. maybe rem had been very, very liberal with letting her boys know how proud she was of them all the time, how perfect they were regardless of how they turned out with regard to their status as independents β but that sort of praise coming from vash sets his blood on fire to the point that it catches him so off-guard he forgets to breathe for a handful of seconds. long enough to find his lungs burning with it, and his next inhale carving a path through him almost painfully.
( that's something else he's had to get used to; pain and all things adjacent, the bulk of which he'd experienced when he'd first refused to eat until his brother had shoved food into his mouth, but this is something else entirely, something that he thinks he's quickly going to become addicted to, and alongside everything else pertaining to vash β¦
it's a very dangerous problem to have. )
you will, he says, though he doesn't believe it's going to be anytime soon, not with the mischievous light in his eyes and the way he seems to content to keep right on doing what he's doing; it wouldn't be so overwhelming, he thinks distantly, if he had any measure of experience even with his own body, but since he hadn't really thought to bother before now every single touch from his brother's hands and lips and tongue already find him teetering on the edge of too much, not enough, and it's dizzying in the sense that vash has barely even touched him.
again, it sould be embarrassing, really. but since it's only the two of them and he's never known what it is to feel shame, that sort of thing is off the table.
he tries to say something in response to the last words out of the other's mouth, tries to get something in edgewise but he doesn't have a chance. not when the heat of his mouth is suddenly engulfing his cock and the sound startled out of him isn't quite a moan so much as β¦ almost a cry, sharp and abbreviated with the next hitch of his breath and the way his hips stutter to keep from pushing further. deeper.
one hand stays curled around the back of vash's neck while the other combs through messy blond hair, just for something to do because he can't remain completely idle, fingertips brushing sweetly, reverently over the beat of his pulse, thumb seemingly absently grazing over the earring he'd given him for their birthday.
there's barely a sliver of color left in his eyes when he catches vash's gaze again, the thinnest ring of icy blue surrounding deep, endless black and he's unconscious of the way his thighs seek to spread even wider for him, to bare even more of himself for his brother, as if he didn't already belong to him completely in this moment.
and every other, but that's neither here nor there. ) You'reβ ( perfect. wonderful. lovely. mine β
his inner muscles twitch around nothing and suddenly he feels achingly empty, slick coating prosthetic digits where they tease but go no further, and he wants so badly that he's dripping. ) God, Vash, you're unbelievable.
( please. more. )
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To be honest, it's the small touches that are the most encouraging, the soothing presence of familiar fingers at his pulse, the encouraging sensation of fingers carding through his hair. Vash exhales a hum around where his mouth is currently busy, each slide of his lips overheated skin getting more and more bold, a little more of him disappearing into his mouth before he slides up again. He feels Knives' dick hit the back of his throat, and for a moment it takes effort not to gag around him. It certainly puts a stutter in his rhythm as he takes a moment to breathe and another to look up at his brother like some kind of check-in.
He's absolutely certain that the look he sees on Knives' face is one he wants to see again, if he's let to.
He's not going to tease Knives forever, either. Though he doesn't directly ask for it, it's almost like Vash understands anyway. Maybe it's because they're twins, in tune with one another in a way literally no one else in the universe is. Or maybe it's because from where Vash is, where his fingers are currently playing, there's no denying the reaction that he's getting from is dear "elder" brother. He slips two fingers in where Knives' body is busy clenching around nothing, prosthetic digits pressing against hot, wet walls as Vash makes an effort to curl them in just the way he knows feels the best when he's done it to himself.
Distantly, he wonders if he can get his brother to come while they're like this, his mouth and hands doing their best to wring Knives dry. It would be worth it to try, to give at LEAST that much. It gives him a goal to reach before he might give in to Nai's earlier request. ]
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whatever vash wants to pull from him, sound or reaction or some measure of both, they're only ever going to be his. for the taking, for the keeping because he doesn't want anyone else to have them. because what they have here is something nothing and no one else can touch, and he intends ( hopes, prays, please ) to keep it that way.
the praise going both ways β¦ it surprises nai more than it surprises vash, it seems. but then, he hasn't heard anything like it since rem, has he? since she'd called them both her perfect boys.
( he doesn't deserve it and he knows it. but. that's neither here nor there. )
you want to see him like this again? you don't even have to ask β
because even where knives' own plea falls short, asking but not, begging but not, vash fills in the spaces between his words like fingers parsing out braille; he knows what he isn't saying without him even having to hint at more, and when those two prosthetic fingers press inside him, when they curl he nearly doubles over. nearly pulls himself as tight as a plucked bowsting, that mouth around him and those fingers inside him wringing his pleasure from him as though it wasn't his to give in the first place, but vash's to mold as he sees fit.
he isn't going to last like this. he isn't going to last and he hates the thought of it, because vash hasn't let him touch and he wants to touch so badly that he sobs out his next moan, breath hitching and cutting into his throat like something tangible. bleeding on its exit. )
Vash.
( his teeth grit around his name, a snarl more than anything else, fingers pulling at his hair and pressing harder into the column of his throat in turn, even as his hips give a traitorous buck upward.
baby brother β¦ you are going to be the death of him. you know that, don't you? )
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It's a need he's pretty sure he hasn't felt before, a want to drive his brother past that last thread of control... He's certain he's nearly there when Knives almost doubles over, his pants turning into hitched moans. It's really all the encouragement he needs to double his efforts, fingers gliding over that same spot again and again. He's so wet that the sound of it is practically obscene.
But as determined as he is there's only so much ignoring he can do when it comes to the pressure and pain of having his hair pulled like that, especially when it's coupled with a press of fingers into his throat that make him a little light headed. Even with the buck of Knives' hips Vash eventually decides to relent, shifting a little to give in to what's being practically growled at him. He drags his tongue and lips over Knives one last time before his lips part from his dick with a wet sound, his hand following the motion with careful strokes.
This direction of events might be what Nai wants, but the amused expression on his face makes it clear that He can tell just what kind of effect he's had on Knives' body. Maybe it's a little shit eating, the heated, blown eyed expression he fits on Nai now that he's no longer making an attempt to swallow his older brother whole. ]
Nai...? [ A question he doesn't really need an answer to because he already knows. His voice is hushed, a little rough, and practically rumbling with interest as he breathes in a deep breath. He smooths both hands over Nai's inner thighs, thumbs pressing into muscle in what should hopefully be a little soothing. ]
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the way vash looks at him β¦ it's an addictive thing in its own right, not only because no one else has ever looked at him like that, but because he wants his brother's attention angled in his direction always. look at me, always look at me, vash, please β
his twin pulls off of him and the sound that comes with it is obscene to say the very least of it; it leaves nai shaking, he already had been, yes but now his whole body may very well be trying to shake itself apart for how he's trying to keep his composure, to hold himself together until he gets something very, very specific he wants from his brother.
the mismatched hands smoothing over the insides of his thighs are soothing, of course they are, but before he can give over even a reasonable facsimile of a response he's reaching for the waistband of vash's pants to haul him upward by it; fingers work at button and zipper and all at once he's delving beneath whatever layers await him, seeking out the hard length of his cock and the slick heat of his cunt at the same time. greedy, now that he doesn't have to think too much about whether or not he's allowed.
he pushes the other's pants down until he's mostly revealed to him, stroking over the length of him with one hand, lining them both up to grin up against him at the very same moment the fingers of his other hand seek to press inside him, two at once as he'd done, mimicking the inward press and the curl when he finds the spongy bump of something interesting. )
I told youβ ( he pants, whines, growls against the line of his mouth all at once. ) I wanted to feel you.
( however you thought this was going to move forward, if it wasn't this, it's going to have to wait. you're patient, aren't you vash? patient enough to let his inexperienced hands seek to wring your pleasure from you, as you have his from him? )
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He's barely registering what's happening to his pants before Knives' hand is down them. ]
Nai, Wai— [ His voice catches sharply in his throat, the words choked back in favor of a strangled gasp that melts into a moan uttered into Knives' mouth. It's overwhelming, too much, way too much all at once. He's barely adjusted to the feeling of Nai's hands on him, the feeling of their cocks sliding together before his own handiwork comes back to haunt him. If he'd been standing, his knees might have buckled. As it is, one hand slides between them to settle overtop the one pressing into him.
Wanted to feel him? Vash distantly thinks that he's more than accomplished that as another sound is practically panted into Nai's mouth, his body arching to rock his hips back onto those intruding fingers. If he wasn't so certain his gaze was full of his brother's own intense stare, he'd be sure he was seeing stars. He'd ignored the ache between his legs rather well in favor of focusing on his brother's pleasure, but now that the tables have turned and those hands are wringing sounds out of him it's like the carefully maintained and watched fire in his belly has raged into an entire forest fire. It's so so much but Vash realizes as he tries to figure out how best to meet his brother's touch, it's also not enough. Not nearly enough. ]
Nai, please...right there- it's— [ He can barely think to form a full sentence, so instead he leans in to claim his brother's lips in a hungry, heated kiss that's all teeth and tongue if he's granted permission. It's another way of pleading, begging, encouraging Knives to do more, press harder. ]
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( it doesn't sound like vash is complaining, at any rate. everything beyond that initial bitten-off plea to wait has been replaced with the sounds of his want, his arousal on top of the way his body responds to his touches, and he'll be damned β as if he hadn't already been, but that is not the point β if his brother isn't still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen take a breath. )
as much as the other's previous smugness had looked more at home in his expression than nai thinks it should have been ( because honestly, control is an attractive look on you, little brother ), the way he seems to fall apart for him at the simplest things is just one more tick-mark in the addiction column; the way that hand settles on top of his own, holding it there, like he has any intention of pulling it away, the way his body trembles with every inward press of his fingers, or the slotting of their bodies together. it's a heady thing, and he's already found himself dizzy from it, drunk off of it even before vash gives over the one word that means he could never deny him anything.
please.
as if he would.
he presses down hard against the little bundle of nerves inside him again, almost gently massaging with the tips of his fingers as he seeks to maintain some measure of a rhythm in his lazy upward grind, the movement of his hips keeping their lengths sliding against one another and aiding the inward press of digits.
his tongue curls behind the sharp points of his brother's teeth, encouraging more, whatever he wants to give and take for himself. it's all too much and not enough for the both of them, and isn't that just par for the course? ) βHere?
( he manages a tease, now pressing hard against that little spot with an added obscene roll of his hips. as much as he's trying to feign control on his end, his next words come out almost hushed, a plea of his own. ) Words, little brother. I need you to use them.
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His brother's voice pulls his thoughts outward and Vash whimpers against his mouth. Words? Use his words? How the hell does Knives expect him to use his words when he can barely think straight? Tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes and it takes so much more effort than he thought it would to push himself up with his one free hand, his back arching into each roll of their hips in the meantime. He only half-heartedly smacks his fist down against his brother's chest in response, his lower lip sticking out ever so slightly. ]
You— It's not so easy to think when-
[ He's so SO close, and it should be obvious based on the way his walls squeeze around Nai's fingers, the pleasure and pressure building with every stroke and press of those digits. The sound of just how wet he is, the pounding of his heart hammering in his ears, the sound of Nai's breathing, all of it is overwhelming, making it harder for Vash to think about anything other than chasing after that heat building in his gut. Each time Vash thinks he's pulling in a breath to speak another gasp or moan tumbles out instead and he settles a hazy-eyed look on his brother as he clenches his free hand, nails digging sharply into pale skin. The next roll of their hips that drags their cocks together is enough to push him over the edge from which he'd been so precariously dangling.
He practically buries his face in the crook of his brother's neck, teeth sinking into skin in an effort to keep from making so much noise. The force of it is almost certain to leave a mark, and later he might even apologize for it. But not right now.
He'd just been resting his hand over Nai's before, but now with muscles taught and his body still zinging, he tightens his grip to stop Nai from moving his fingers any more, his hips arching jerkily away from a touch that's pressing against now too-sensitive parts of him. Still, he's self-conscious, more than a little aware that he may very well have come before his brother even had a chance to. ]
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he could have already come by now, himself, but nah. narration would like to say just how delightful it is to have him hanging in pleasure limbo, even when he doesn't seem to be fussed by it at all, because vash is beautiful as he crests the wave of his pleasure and comes crashing down with it.
the threat of tears breaks across his brother's lashes like tiny constellations and he has half a mind to press his lips to them, to brush them away with kisses but he holds himself back from it, just on the off-chance that it isn't a welcome thing. that it isn't something vash wants attention drawn to.
instead, he gives over a low, rumbling chuckle that filters up from the very back of his throat as those words finally come forward, and if his fingers press just a bit harder against that spot inside him, they absolutely do not. he's not that much of a sadist β¦
( and if you believe that, something-something-time-share-in-bermuda-something-something. ) )
You get one free pass. ( he finally says instead, voice gravel-rough on the back of his tongue, thick with arousal. there's an implication in that, though, like it's going to happen again, and the thought of it alone thrills him more than he'll ever admit to.
he watches vash's pleasure flicker across his face until he presses it into the crook of his neck, until he bites and nai growls with that, too, the vibration resonating deep in his chest and filtering upward until only the very end of it is what loses itself in the air between them. heated and belonging not to himself, but his twin, much like everything else in this moment isn't his own.
nai's cock twitches against the other's own as he comes, a sound catching in the back of his own throat that comes eerily close to a whimper, but he'll be denying that until he takes his last breath; it's not like anything else he's ever had the chance to witness before, the gorgeous way his brother's body bows beneath the weight of his pleasure, of his orgasm, and he goes so far as to nuzzle into a tanned, scarred shoulder as vash's hips arch away from his hand, and at the very least he has the decency to not press further.
yet.but something compels him to bring that hand upward, to take in the way his fingers glisten with the evidence of his pleasure, of his release, and something deeper compels him even more to bring that hand to his lips and lick at the tips of his fingers. the taste of him is sweet, heady, dizzying and before he realizes he's done so he's licking his fingers, his palm, his wrist clean with a low moan that sounds all at once pleased and β¦ just a little bit empty.
he'll realize there's still an ache in the pit of his stomach soon. but not right this second. )
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Nai! [ He lifts a hand to pinch at the meat of Nai's chest, not a nipple but somewhere a little less sensitive. He's so embarrassing, Vash feels like his face is on fire, a far deeper red settling on his cheeks and his ears than it has in the last however long it has been that they've been like this. He looks almost petulant, flushed and still breathing a little hard. But it's when he shifts his body in his brother's lap and he feels the hard length of him slide against the parts of him that are still so sensitive that it makes him hiss— that Vash realizes he's more or less left his brother behind. ]
Wait... you're still hard. [ Vash's expression pinches, fingers immediately soothing the place he'd abused on Nai only a moment or two before, a sudden embarrassment flushing his skin clear down to his own chest. ] I'm sorry, I should've...
[ He chews on his lower lip again, that same bruised and split spot, tongue pushing into the split absently as the cogs in his brain turn. He's still a little noodle-y if the way he moves and wavers is any indication but it doesn't stop him from sitting up and pushing back to settle his hands on his brother's thighs. He doesn't wait to clarify or even explain, and he certainly doesn't give Nai a chance to ask or to stop him. He gives his hips an experimental roll, his grip tightens on Nai's thighs painfully, nails digging into skin as his body throbs, still sensitive and so wet. It makes it a little easier the second time, grinding Nai's freshly slicked length over his folds. Vash isn't exactly hard himself, but he certainly seems to be working himself up with each movement he makes. ]
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at least until he pinches him, and he gives a half-hearted hiss through his teeth. ) What? ( comes out of him, just a little petulant, nosing at any part of him he can reach from that angle. probably just a tuft of blond hair, but it's good enough for him. ) You taste goodβ you don't think I'm going to let that go to waste, do you?
( he knows that isn't exactly a fair play, but. does it matter? does he care? the answer is a very definitive no to both of those questions. they were mostly rhetorical, anyway.
his cock twitches when he says you're still hard, and maybe he is still so hard it hurts, but being so focused on vash's pleasure as he had been allows him to take some of that edge off. at least until his brother gets an idea in that foolish, selfless head of his, and whatever he might have been expecting, it isn't what he gets. )
Don't worry about me, you don't have tβ ( he tries to make some excuse, because having never experienced the undeniable euphoria of an orgasm for himself he doesn't care if he gets off or not, not really, as long as he knows vash felt good and feels good, it's enough for him.
at least, that's what he thinks until the other straightens above him and rests his hands against his thighs, until he gives that experimental roll of his hips that has nai hissing again through his teeth, his own hands coming up to rest on vash's not unlike when they'd been fighting over that stupid honey bun.
there's more to it, this time. there's the curl of his fingers against bare skin and the helpless upward press of his own hips as he seeks out the slick heat of his core, length sliding too damned easily through his folds. )
My god, Vash. ( mmm. was that almost a whimper?
it sure the fuck was. )
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But then, oh, then.... ]
God, huh? [ He grins a little, something warm swelling in his chest at the pitiful little whine he's able to wring out of Knives with just a few rolls of his hips. His expression is nothing short of smug, the grin lopsided, eyes hooded and dark again as his gaze flicks down from Knive's face to where their hips grind together. The sight is nothing short of obscene the head of Knives' cock peeking out with each roll of Vash's hips.
If the smug way he looks pleased with himself wavers with a jerk of his hips, no it doesn't. His hips definitely don't still a little as he catches his breath, steadying the way the feeling of it has just made him more wet, his efforts to tease his brother slowly up the same hill he'd climbed earlier clearly doing more than just driving Knives a little crazy. ]
It's just me, brother. [ Knives doesn't need to worry about anything other than the way this is making him feel, Vash's grip on his brother's thighs tightening as he relies on where his hands are to keep himself upright. His breaths are carefully measured, but nothing short of panting despite every effort he's made to keep it steady. ]
"Use your words," right? Isn't that what you said?
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and if you believe that β¦
but. all right. all right, it really isn't fair when vash finds a rhythm with every roll of his hips and it really is obscene, watching the way his slick coats him more with each pass, how he glistens more and more between his thighs in a way that makes nai want to taste him at his source, and maybe he'll do that later, when he can focus on something that isn't solely how his brother is moving against him like he was meant to do nothing else.
he might have forgotten his own pleasure in lieu of focusing on vash, and he doesn't regret that. but it really isn't going to take a genius to figure out how far gone he is now that the focus is back on him, if the next sound out of him is any indication. it's not quite a whimper, not really, but it's dangerously close to it.
he shivers at the word brother, hands smoothing up and over vash's hips in an attempt to find a hold there, thumbs brushing over the rise of hipbones. ) Gremlin. ( he practically growls, but there's no heat to it at all. not a single drop of it as he searches for the words he wants to say, or at least ones that might get him more. ) Can Iβ please.
( he stops there, but there's another filthy upward roll of his hips that may or may not tease the head of his cock against vash's entrance, and he jolts, swallowing around another helpless sound that would be embarrassing if he had any idea what shame felt like. )
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It's no better when the word please comes out of Knives' mouth, and for once it's clear that the both of them have a weakness for the other when it comes for asking (begging) nicely. The thought of it alone sends something red hot to his core, and there's no hiding that Vash has found a second wind. Clearly, refractory periods are for... the birds? ]
Yeah. Yes. [ God, yes. For all that Vash finds he enjoys making his brother writhe and whimper underneath him, the simple implication of his brother wanting to be inside of him is eating away at his resolve to reduce Knives to a puddle just like this. He halts the roll of his hips with a stutter, one hand lifting from Knives' thigh to plant in front of him as he rises slowly up on his knees, almost like if he moves too quickly he might lose his balance.
His other hand moves to break the thread of slick as he wraps it around Knives' dick, sliding his fist over him with one smooth, purposeful pump before he makes an effort to line the length of him up with his hole. It's almost tempting to push forward, to sink down onto him without any further warning or tease, but instead Vash slips his gaze up to meet his brothers with a grin. ]
This, right? This is what you want?
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he's just drinking it up along with everything else.
( refractory periods are for humans. the birds. anything that isn't them and if he ends up abusing that any time in the future β¦ heh, could you really blame him? )
vash says yes and he's breathless as he watches him move, an exhale caught on the back of his tongue that is, once again, pushed out of him in an almost-whine when fingers wrap around his length, when he lines himself up as though it would be nothing at all to sink down onto him. in one sweet, fluid motion that would see him buried to the hilt inside that gorgeous, golden body β
one of his own hands smooths over the flat of vash's stomach, unable to keep from touching him as he shifts to plant both feet flat on the floor beneath him, knees absently bumping against a very slender, very scarred back. ) Yes. ( he echoes, and it sounds like a plea. a prayer. something that probably has no business coming out of his mouth at all. )
Wantβ ( need. ) To feel you from the inside β¦ don't tease, brother, please. ( ah. there it is again. he is so far gone. )
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Mm...I won't. Promise.
[ He may have teased Knives for most of this experience when he found the opportunity to, but right now, he decides to give in. There's no way, he thinks absently, he would be able to take his brother in one fell swoop, so when he moves he does so slowly. Vash lowers himself until the head of Knives' cock pushes inside, sinking into a wet heat that has Vash whimper out a moan as soon as he feels himself stretch a little to accommodate Knives' size.
He pulls his hand away after a moment, settling it instead on top of the one at his stomach like he's holding onto some kind of anchor. ]
Nai, you— [ He stumbles over his words as he sinks lower, inch by inch, until he finally bottoms out, the sensation of it a deep ache as he breathes in to try and gather some air back into his lungs, air that he's almost certain was pushed out of him. He doesn't move yet, his eyes shut tightly in this moment he's taken to more or less try not to trip himself straight over the edge again. ]
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( and so maybe they both have a bit of a kink for it. is it really all that surprising? if nai could get vash asking so nicely so easily it would find him so hard and dripping wet simultaneously that he might actually be a bit embarrassed by it. funny, that, coming from the one that has never known shame in his life. )
he can't help but to watch him as he moves, lifting himself up and positioning his cock against his entrance, sinking down onto him and it may not be much at all at first, may not be more than the very tip pressing inside but it's more than enough to have his thighs tensing, hands pressing into warm skin where they lie just for some measure of purchase. something to ground him, and to keep him from pressing upward too quickly.
he doesn't dare try to breathe until vash is fully seated in his lap, and the faint idea of being able to feel the very slight outline of his length inside his brother's body beneath the weight of their hands against his stomach is almost enough to make him feral; the next sound out of him is something strangled, something raw as his free hand stays curled possessively over a hipbone. tightly enough that he will undoubtedly leave the prints od his fingers behind when they finally pull away from each other.
It's overwhelming, to be surrounded, enveloped by his brother's slick heat, and where vash needs a moment or two to bully air back into his lungs just so he doesn't trip back over the precarious precipice of his own pleasure nai needs β¦ more than that. he needs to remember how to breathe, for one. he needs to not focus on how he's sure he can feel the pulse of his heartbeat in his cock every second he remains buried inside his brother without moving. he needs β )
Perfect.
( he all but chokes into the silence, meaning both vash as a whole and how he looks in that moment with his eyes so tightly shut, lips parted in shallow pants, and everything in nai aches for his twin. to be able to have him like this at all is so far beyond what he'd thought he might have been blessed with. )
You β¦ are perfect.
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He's certain he'll wind up with bruises on his hip, but he doesn't care. Not when he feels like the dull pain and pressure of it feels almost as good as the way he throbs around Knives' cock. If he thinks about it too much, he's certain he won't last. Just the jolt of muscles flexing against his back rocks him forward, Vash reflexively grinding their hips together again.
Oh, god. Vash's fingers cling to the hand at his stomach, clenching as he presses Knives' hand against his abdomen, pressing that hand against the shape of him seated deep inside. Vash can't feel it with his own, but he knows it's there, all of his senses full of just Knives.
—Full of the heat of him, the sound of his voice, the way each breath sounds like it hitches every time he exhales, it's almost as if he can hear the effort Knives is making to keep himself under control. When he finally opens his eyes and looks down, the sight of him is almost embarrassing, the way he stares up at him like Vash is something to be revered. It makes Vash's skin prickle in the funniest way, almost wanting to turn invisible.
You ... are perfect. It's high praise, coming from anyone, but especially his brother, the one soul in the world that he feels the closest to. A whimper flutters past Vash's lips the moment the words hit his ears, his inner muscles clenching around Knives reflexively. He hasn't even started to move yet, and he's not sure he can, not with the way his legs shake with the effort to just keep himself still in the moment. ]
Too much, Nai. It's—I need— [ Words, Vash. He struggles to voice just exactly what he needs, but a moment later he's shifting, his hips rolling just a little, achingly slow as he tests his limits and slowly leans forward to brush parted lips against his brother's. ]
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that just makes it more, somehow. just. because. it's vash.
every muscle in his body has tensed, it seems; his shoulders have rounded, almost hunched forward with how he's holding onto his brother, his chest and stomach little more than hard planes of rugged terrain broken only by the smallest, stunted breaths he allows in and out of his lungs. his thighs are shaking where they're pressed almost gently against vash's back, and he may as well make himself into a statue for how he dares not to move. it's too perfect, too good, too much that he doesn't want to break whatever moment this is.
the deep breath before the fall, the calm before the storm. something like that, he thinks he might have read somewhere, but he isn't sure.
still, he can't help but to look up at him with the deepest sort of reverence, pale blue eyes gone wide and dark with his arousal and expression softened, so much that every hard line has been replaced with affection, love in the deepest sense of the word, and while it might make vash uncomfortable for his gaze to remain on him for so long, he can't. he can't bring himself to look away.
there's another moment of silence, and then vash is moving β moving and mumbling things under his breath that he can only just make out β and both of nai's own hands slip up over the marred warmth of his skin to sink long fingers into his hair as he kisses him, soft but deep, purposeful as he matches the careful roll of his brother's hips with one of his own, nothing short of a whine slithering up from the back of his throat to betray him completely. )
Words, love. Tell me what you need. ( he sucks at his split lip, not enough to see it bleeding again, but enough that he can taste the lingering tinge of it. ) I'll give you anything. ( i'll give you everything. )
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He offers his brother one last kiss that's punctuated by a little lilting laugh. Anything, huh? He pushes himself up to his knees again, thighs straddling his brother's hips as he presses his back against Nai's legs as he drinks in the affectionate expression on his brother's face, the way he looks at him with such hunger and immediate, undivided attention. Maybe, normally, it would be overwhelming but right now it's all he wants. A moment of self-indulgence that he would only allow with Nai. He grins a little, the shape of it a little lopsided, a little mischievous. He realizes that his brother is operating a little in the dark, and that reminder is more than a little alluring. ]
Ready? [ It's all the warning Nai is going to get before Vash settles his hands upon his chest and starts to move. It's a circular grind at first, enough to tease the both of them, but then he lifts himself, his body dragging him up off of his brother's cock only to drag back down again with a flex of his muscles in a slow, achingly slow rhythm. Each arch of his hips drags Nai against the heat of him, and before long, Vash can't hold back the sounds panted past his lips. He's never been quiet when it comes to most things in his life, sex, apparently, isn't any different.
He does, however, still have it in him to keep the pace steady, slow, and purposefully teasing, pushing for more of the sweet words he's been getting from the source he's realizing he's wanted to hear them from for a long, long time. ]
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( yes, he'd been the one to instigate this. yes, he'd been the one to kiss his brother first and encourage things to go the way they had β but this has to be the one time in his life that he hasn't thought himself twelve steps ahead and is, effectively, just flying by the seat of his pants. )
vash straightens, leans back against his legs and he makes sure to lock his knees just in case his legs decide to give out on him even though he'd given himself that leverage for a reason, and god, is he a vision. naked, scarred, beautiful in every movement he makes and every sound that climbs up from the back of his throat, and he wants to commit every single moment of this to memory. not because he wants to be able to recall it anytime he wants in case this never happens again β it will, it will, he isn't about to give this newfound intimacy up anytime soon β but because every important thing in his life, he's committed to memory, and there is nothing about this that is not important.
mapping out every inch of his brother's body. parsing out all the little noises he makes and what they mean beyond the pleasure making its way through him like tiny little strikes of lightning. what makes him moan, what makes him whimper, if he always sounds as he had the first time right before he comes β
vash asks him if he's ready, and he breathes out a stunted yes that's barely a sound at all, and he's captivated by the way he moves, even when it's only to brace his hands against his chest. life himself up.
and sink back down in an achingly slow pace, and he doesn't think of it as teasing as such until he's rocked against him so slowly a handful of times, maybe even less, because as delicious as the slow drag of his inner walls against his cock is, it brings the heat settled in the pit of his stomach to a rolling simmer and nothing more. it's not enough, even as his brother sings to him with the smallest sounds he makes.
beautiful. you're so beautiful. i am going to tell you as often as you'll let me. )
Vash. ( he whines, actually whines as he brings his hands to settle against narrow hips, choosing the very moment that his brother sinks back down onto him fully to grip him hard and grind upward just short of mercilessly. his teeth are bared, and it looks like a snarl, but it's only because he can't seem to catch his breath. )
What did I tell you about teasing? ( you heathen. you glorious, perfect heathen. you're going to drive him clear out of his mind, and you know it, don't you? )
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But for a moment: ]
Breathe, Nai. You have to remember to breathe. Stay with me, okay? [ It's a gentle effort to comfort, or at least it seems like it is, but the slight tilt of his head, the expression flickering over his lips and the crinkle of his eyes reveal the true nature of the playful little taunt. He's clearly being just a little cheeky, fully sliding into the understanding that he gets to drive this.
As if it wasn't at least partially clear by the fact he's got his brother underneath him for the second time since they arrived here. The first may not have been in this context, but Knives had been whiny then too. It's very interesting information that Vash thinks he'll keep to himself until moments like these when he gets to use it to his advantage. Not that, in the end, Knives isn't going to benefit also. Vash is, however, merciful. Another roll of his hips follows, grinding them together where they're connected before he sets a new, much less achingly slow pace. He's hard between them, fully recovered from having come only a short while ago. He might have been embarrassed by it earlier but now he's far more interested in chasing after the sensation of Knives' cock dragging against the deepest part of him.
He's just this side of breathless himself even as he attempts to tease his brother more pointedly, one hand sliding up from Nai's chest to touch the side of his face in a gesture that's meant to be gentle and affectionate. It's a bit of a reach, but if he angles himself just right he can still arch his hips and maintain the way he's moving while making it easier for his thumb to trace over the curve of Knives' lower lip, just playing at dragging over hidden sharp canines. ]
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nai doesn't mind, either. he doesn't mind being led or even directed when it's vash, because vash is so much more worldly than he is in more ways than he can count and especially like this, having never even come close to feeling pleasure like this before he'd put his hands on him, his mouth on him, he'll do anything he wants with the kind of vigor that can only come from. well. a fucking virgin.
turbo virgin. but we're only saying that in introspection. because it's funny, and it's going to remain funny.
breathe, he says, you have to remember to breathe and he takes in a gulping breath of air that ends up leaving him in an almost sobbing exhale. he's overwhelmed but in the best way, the absolute best fucking way but he does take a few shuddering breaths, in and out and in and out again as vash sets the kind of pace that brings a low, rumbling sound from the back of his throat, the kind of pace that makes him want to match it with his own movements, stuttered upward rolls of his hips that stutter just as much as his labored breaths and he wants, he doesn't think he's ever wanted something as badly as this. his brother, his hands and his mouth and his eyes on him and his body clenching so gloriously down around him.
the whole of him. every single bit of him, inside and out. that's what he wants.
vash's thumb plays over his bottom lip and he parts his lips to invite it into his mouth, tongue licking almost playfully at the pad as he reaches with one hand to trail the very tips of his own fingers over the length of his brother's cock. he hasn't touched him here yet, and he wants to, thumb passing over the head and spreading any accumulation of moisture there downward in a slow, languid stroke. )
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It's as he hooks a finger around a particularly pronounced canine with all the intention to tug, his fingers sliding against his brother's tongue that Nai's hand glides over his cock with that teasing, slow touch. It wrings a moan from Vash's throat that had been sitting there silently, laying in wait. Vash's hips jerk forward without thought, yanking him wildly out of the rhythm they'd only just set for the last little while. A whine escapes his lips, a high pitched noise that goes rough at the edges as he finds his voice. ]
You jerk. [ It's breathless, the way he talks, but there's no malice behind it despite the juvenile namecalling. It'd be a lie to say he wants Nai to stop, when it feels this good. But also, Vash is keeping count and his brother is being underhanded, if he has the chance to say anything about it. Underhanded, maybe, if Vash figured his brother knew more about what he's doing to him. He shifts a hand down to lay over Knives' own rocking into the touch just as much as he tries to still it. ]
I'm not gonna... not again, not before you. Come on, Nai. Don't be greedy.
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it's glorious, effortless, divine; nai thinks he will want for it for the rest of their known lives even if he can have it, always hungry, always yearning. for his brother, and his brother alone.
his eyes flutter shut for the smallest moment when the other's finger curled around his fang, tongue laving over the digits in his mouth as hips buck erratically against his own, rhythm shattered for the sake of chasing down errant pleasure that hadn't been expecting, and he would laugh if he could, wringing every single bit of joy out of this he's able to. just to be able to say he can still catch vash off-guard.
but it doesn't last too long, not when he laces their fingers together around his brother's cock and squeezes, his free hand coming up to curl around a slender shoulder and press down, down to meet every single one of his upward thrusts, his own cock buried deep inside that receptive body while his entrance clenches tight and dripping around nothing.
the hand at vash's shoulder slips to curl around the back of his neck and bring him down for a biting kiss that's more lips and teeth than anything else, the taste of blood still lingering between them as he manages to grind out, harsh, almost a hiss β ) With me. ( he rocks upward, strained, as he strokes over him with their threaded fingers. ) For me. One more, brother. I want to feel you so badlyβ ( so he's being greedy.
can you really blame him? he's not about to last much longer, anyway. )
Puts this Here Also.
So when he finds his brother in the kitchen of their tiny little mushroom house (they REALLY need to look into getting something bigger, and soon) he approaches carefully, one hand lifting to skim over the edge of the counter with his fingertips. ]
Hey, Nai...?
[ He tips his head to one side, just a little, just a smidge. It's a telltale sign to anyone who really looks close enough. He smiles an easy sort of expression, his other hand tucked quietly behind his back. ]
buckles nai in for the long haul
he's making tea in the kitchen when vash makes his appearance ( he's come to like the stuff, and he might even admit it, if asked ) and he turns the moment his brother shuffles into his periphery, eyebrows raised. he knows that look, it means he's already got something on his mind, already got something planned, but β¦ all right, yeah, he's going to humor him.
( they'll get a bigger place eventually. maybe. probably. he might be used to having his own place, but it hasn't been so bad being this close to his twin. ) )
Mm? What's that look for, Vash?
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Well. I was thinking...if you wanted to.
[ He steps over, sliding a small box onto the counter from behind his back. It looks awfully similar to something that had been given to him back around his birthday. He pushes it over towards Nai's teacup, fingertips leaving it after lingering for a moment or two extra. ]
You don't have to, but I thought it might be fun. I found one that matches.
[ It might be a little childish, but the thought of it warms something in his chest a little. ]
this face is so stupid but it's like the only one i've got that's relevant huffs
nai looks down at the box when vash pushes it across the counter, curiosity getting the better of him before he even realizes he's reaching for it. the little ring inside really is almost identical, a pretty, saturated blue in place of the rich red he'd managed to find for his brother fixed into a basic silver hoop.
it makes something in the center of his chest tighten pleasantly as he looks to meet the other's gaze again. ) You want us to match? ( he smiles β genuinely smiles β and reaches to take the little box in both of his hands, turning it over and back again, admiring the trinket inside. )
Of course I want to. I assume that since you probably did your own, you know what you're doing β¦? ( it's more of a question than he means for it to be, but one pale brow rises slowly regardless, the smallest upward quirk of a corner of his mouth indicating something teasing. )
his whole face is stupid
But his attention is taken away from the tea to the way his brother is looking at him and the brightness of it has Vash frozen in awe. It almost makes him forget to breathe for a moment, but he quickly draws a breath in as he lifts careful hands to brush fingertips over the curve of Nai's cheekbones. Look, let him. This is all so new still, he's just got to... get used to things.
He nods at the question his own lips quirking up at the way Nai's expression shifts into something just a little silly, hands still pressing lightly to Nai's face like he's trying to commit the expression to memory. He wishes Nai would smile more. ]
It might hurt. But I know how.
LMAO okay fair
it's new to him too, of course, being able to have this level of intimacy with anyone, much less his twin brother, but he can't exactly imagine being like this with anyone else. it doesn't seem like the pieces would fit properly, because he can't see himself nuzzling into anyone else's touch like he is vash's as his fingertips graze over his cheekbones.
it just seems so natural. maybe he'll start to smile more. )
I think I can handle a little bit of pain by this point. (
as long as it's not in his leg. we're not sure what he would do about so much pain in his leg.) I trust you. Do you want to do it now?i hate you so much
We can. It'll be quick. I bet it'll heal pretty fast, if you take good care of it.
[ To know that he has his brother's trust though... That's something else. Though by now, perhaps it was one of those things he knew without being told. It's still nice to hear it. ]
Kitchen is probably the best place to do it. [ I have a kit. If a needle, some alcohol and the nerve is a kit. ]
you do not
piano lessons, more opportunities to openly flirt without flirting β¦ potato, potahto.his nose wrinkles just a bit at the thought of having to take care of anything close to a wound, because old habits do indeed die hard and he never would have had to worry so much about things healing before. ) The last thing I ever thought I would have to ponder. ( he chuckles, like he's thought of something funny he has no intention of sharing with the class. ) At least you're not warning me against infection. ( because it sounds terrible and he wants no part of it.
he nods at the kitchen being the best spot, and he gives the surrounding area a brief once-over. )
I suppose I should sit, hm? ( and look. a kit contains whatever you want to have in it. if you call it one, it is one. )
I do not.
[ Vash wanders away from his brother to pull out a chair next to the tiny, tiny little dining table. A table really only meant for two at a time. He sets his kit down on the table and starts cleaning the needle with the alcohol and a clean cloth. The earring is in its box, set purposefully on the table.
When he turns back around he tilts his head to the side. ]
Sit here. There's plenty of light and I'll be able to reach better.
[ The other option was Vash sitting on the counter for a vantage point, and making Knives stand -- but Vash is at least a little aware that his brother should be the one sitting. Just in case. Who knows, they both have the tendency to be drama queens when they want to be. ]
knew it
nai watches him, as he always watches him even when he's doing the most mundane of things; it's so damned obvious that his attention is always drawn to his hands, but vash has always had a penchant for being graceful when he doesn't mean to be. he likes when he talks with his hands, too, because it adds to the whole of his expressiveness, and β
okay. look. he has a thing for his brother's stupid, elegant hands. even the prosthetic. leave him alone.
the kitchen is tiny enough as it is but the table is even smaller, especially when taking his considerable overall bulk ( read: cake ) into consideration, but he sets himself down into the chair with as much ease as he's able, resting an elbow on the table's edge and his chin in the palm of that hand, continuing to watch the other prepare himself.
it'll be a good thing he's sitting, narration is sure, but it might be even better for his proclivity for being dramatique( β’ ) if you were to sit in his lap while you did this, vash. it'll keep him calm! really! )
What made you think of this, anyway? ( he asks quietly. ) Did you happen across the earring first, or did the thought of it come to mind on its own? ( either way, he's endlessly endeared. duh. )
:x
I thought it might be nice. [ The needle and box land on the table next to where Nai is sitting, and Vash? Very slyly slides himself into his brother's lap so that they're sitting chest to chest, his legs straddling either side. One hand lifts up to cradle the side of his brother's face, the tips of his fingers tracing over the lobe of the ear he's about to pierce. ]It's been a long time since we shared much between us.
[ He lifts his head a little, lips pressing a little kiss to the center of Knives' forehead. ]
Don't move. I don't want to slip.
gremlin ...
he hums out a soft response, one of affirmation as he gives in to the urge to bump their noses together affectionately. it's β actually more of a brief brush back and forth, really, and good lord who could have known that this man would be all about the eskimo kisses. ) A very long time. ( he agrees, any creases smoothing from his forehead when that kiss comes. sickening, really. )
I miss sharing things with you, Vash. ( gross.
but he falls silent then, with little more than another small grunt that catches in the back of his throat, indicating that he's ready whenever his brother is. get on with it so he can kiss you properly, jeez. )
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It's much easier to do this to someone else, he finds, but he doesn't let his thoughts linger on that, instead quickly exhaling a breath to blow over the likely painful spot as he swiftly uses his dexterity to replace the needle with the new earring that will stay there for the next forever.
It's all over in a blink but Vash presses his forehead against his brother's own. ]
Done. That wasn't so bad, was it?
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he knows, distantly, that it's going to hurt ( probably ); he's getting more and more used to the idea of pain, having gone through the aches and pains of acclimating himself to this place in the first, twinges of his stomach when he was hungry, the heavy ache of his eyelids when he'd gone without sleep for too long, but nothing could really prepare him for the sharp sting of the needle through his lobe, in the front and out the back and vash is dexterous enough that there's little more than a sharp inhale and maybe a tiny sound that catches in the back of his throat before he finishes. but he does. and his earlobe is left with the warmth of the newly pierced, but β¦
it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it might have been? it isn't like you shot him in the leg or anything.
he exhales a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding, quick and a bit sharp, and don't mind the fact that his hands slip up from their previous resting place to curl around his hips. )
Because you're not so bad at it. ( he nudges vash's nose with his own. ) It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it might.
he'll shoot you in the leg if you keep making that joke
You're just saying that. [ He denies the compliment quietly, never really one to easily accept words of praise. He turns his gaze to look at the earring dangling from his brother's newly pierced ear and his target changes, shifting the way he's in Knives' space to lean in and press his lips to the curve of that same ear, where the skin is still red but far enough from the new wound to avoid it hurting. ]
It looks good.
a sacrifice i'm willing to make for the sake of my own consistency
he never learned how to share properly, all right? it's a learning experience.
but he's still soaking up all of that affection as though he might never get to have it again, tipping his own head to the side just so to allow the other's angle to shift, a soft hum that may as well be a purr filtering up from the back of his throat and losing itself in the minimal space between them. )
I never just say anything, Vash. You know that. ( a little bit of a dubious statement, to be sure, but he's standing by it. from this angle, it's far too easy to drop a line of soft, sweet, light kisses along the edge of the other's jaw, still nuzzling into him as a cat actively seeking attention might. )
Thank you for this.
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[ He pauses, the words he's speaking are whispered in a low tone. Like they're sharing secrets in their tiny little space. ]
Or something else?
[ It's funny how intimate little touches like this feel, how simple kisses to his jaw or nuzzling against skin can feel so warm when they're so easy to give. Maybe it's because its Nai that they feel so much more important. He lets his hands slip lower on his brother's neck, the flesh-and-bone thumb dragging down over his throat and over the bump of his adams apple, like he's just taking time to explore. ]
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( it's what it always would have done to him, if they'd been allowed this sort of thing before now. if nai himself hadn't been so hell-bent on making him see the error of his ways, his choices in siding with the humans β
but that isn't what's on his mind now. it hasn't been for the last little while, baby steps in the direction they're currently pressing toward, and he's not about to ruin it just because his thoughts have a tendency to wander. )
nai swallows purposely as that thumb passes over the bump of his adam's apple, a simple movement but still one that brings them closer together, and the sound of his purr is still there in his words when he finally speaks up again, feigning something innocuous. )
The piercing, of course. ( he says it matter-of-factly, which ends up being a moot point when he immediately follows up with: ) And everything that's led up to it.
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At least you're honest.
[ He drags his touch back up over his brother's neck, the pads of his thumbs brushing over the crown of Nai's cheekbones and up over the apples of his cheeks, dragging over the mirrored beautymark on his face. He's careful when he approaches anywhere near that newly pierced ear, but he doesn't touch there, instead letting his fingers climb up and drag through white-blond hair.
He makes a point then to drag his thumb over the middle of Nai's forehead, pushing stray hair away from the spot before he leans up and presses his lips to the skin there. He never really thought he'd get a chance to share this sort of intimacy with his twin again, and he's struck in this moment with an emotion so intense it almost makes him choke up. When he speaks, it's hushed and in that same low timbre as before, but somehow just a little awestruck. As though a realization's just come to him. ]
I love you, Nai.
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he nuzzles back, like a cat seeking out affection, even if his grin is just this side of sheepish. ) I try to be.
( honest, especially with everything that includes vash in it; his brother has helped him feel at home here, feel safe even without the powers granted to him by being an independent, and he thinks, perhaps not for the first time β¦ that it might not be so bad if they never found a way back to him. he could exist, like this, as long as vash is by his side.
he soaks up the attention vash lays down on him like flower petals chasing a sunbeam to soak up its warmth, a low sound of the utmost contentment filtering up from the very back of his throat; in this moment, it's almost as if nothing had ever changed between them. they were still vash and nai, two halves of the same whole, finally coming back together as they were meant to.
i love you, nai.
he almost chokes on a sound that doesn't have a name, no words to put to it to describe the sensation that thrums through him at three simple words; i love you, like the past century and a half hadn't happened, i love you like the clench of a fist around his heart that squeezes and takes the breath right out of him. i love you, like it was always meant to be.
there's a wetness pricking at the corners of his eyes when he speaks up again, but he ignores it. )
I have only ever loved you, Vash. ( my vash. my vash. ) More than anything. ( he pauses, and then those three words are given back to his brother brushed along the seam of his mouth, soft and reverent. )
I love you.
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He's so, so sure. He's so, so, hopeful. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, not out of sorrow but just because he's always been emotive, and he brushes his nose against his brothers' briefly. ]
I know. I love you, I love you.
[ It's muttered again and again, his lips ghosting against Nai's in return as he says them, his arms moving to wrap tightly around his brother as he turns that ghost of affection into an actual kiss that stays chaste, for now. It's almost like he's still getting used to hearing the words tumble from his own lips, off his own tongue. He's certain he hasn't said it in over a hundred years, not to anyone. He might as well be inhaling every exhale Nai makes for how close he's slid himself into Nai's lap, and for all the gentle, tenderness he feels in this moment it's not close enough. ]
delivery
I was thinking of you when I chose this. It's called a String of Hearts, and it's best to hang it. I hope you like it, dear.
- Cain
delivery.
it's wrapped up in brown paper and tied with some twine, left outside castle vash for him to find. there's no note included aside from a doodle of a knife on the paper, but he should be able to figure out who it's from. ]
mailmouse delivery
Enjoy a couple of boxes full of bread and pastries, warm and fresh from the Stone Dragon. Surely there's something in here to everyone's taste.
The note atop the boxes says simply,]
Merry Christmas.
Livio
12/25ish | Castle Vash
Should he choose to open the gift, Knives will find a Kintsugi Tea Set. Great care has been taken to procure this gift, the same amount of care thatβs been put into ever crack and break in the set itself. Perhaps one could think of it as symbolic β mended bridges could be even more beautiful than what was there in the first place.
Included with the package is a small note.
-Meryl π ]
Probably some ungodly hour late at night on Xmas
95% of this inbox is me
He purses his lips like the stubborn little brat he is and lifts a knee to crawl up into bed, burrowing under the covers and shoving himself up against his brother, his face buried in the back of his neck. Well, if he's asleep, this is fine. Maybe it's a sign that he needs to keep his thoughts to himself for a little while longer. ]
wouldn't have it any other way
he reaches back with one hand once the other settles to drag blunt nails through the soft hair at his brother's nape, rumbling out a noise of acknowledgment before he can bring himself to turn it into something with words. ) Are you all right, Vash?
you poor unfortunate soul
He decides his brother is far too perceptive when it comes to how he acts for that to work. His brow pinches as he considers how to answer, if he still wants to answer or if he's going to get cold feet and just give half truths. ]
Couldn't sleep.
so sad, so true
his free hand slips to lace fingers with those laid against his chest, and he squeezes gently, keeping with scratching through soft hair with the others. ) Is something bothering you? ( is his first and most obvious response, because his brother is almost always able to sleep, and sleep anywhere, so when he can't it's a notable cause for concern.
but in an attempt to potentially lighten the weight of whatever is on vash's mind, he adds: ) Or did you drink tea too late in the evening again?
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[ He exhales a breath, one that's really meant to be a laugh at the lame joke. It doesn't really feel like the heart is there for it. He does, however seem to scoot in closer if possible, like some kind of heat seeking leech. It's not his fault that this is probably the most comforting place he could think of.
He's quiet, after that, not exactly trying to fall asleep, but he is focusing on his brother's breathing, the feeling of his fingers dragging through his hair. It should make him feel better but it almost makes him feel worse. As close as he is to Nai, Vash almost starts to shrink in on himself. His expression, which had been neutral hidden as it was against the back of his brother's neck, shifts into something grieved. ]
Nai?
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the fingers trailing along his nape, dragging through the fine, shaved-short hair there don't stop in their wandering, shifting instead to press into the tired, tight muscle just above the line of his shoulders as best he can from such an awkward angle. his nails drag just as much as the tips of his fingers dig in, and at the sound of his name he turns very gently, not quite enough to look after his shoulder but. the effort itself should be enough. )
Yes, Vash?
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Would it be so bad? [ He starts, quiet as a mouse in church almost, the tone of his voice thread thin as he pulls himself close tight with Nai, as though there was any room. It's as if in this moment Nai is what's tethering him to this space, rather than letting him float away. ]
To stay. [ He knows the answer. It's a horrible thing to want. To even consider it. In a way he feels as though the wish he made when drifting to this place has already come true. And yet, there are the people they've left behind, their sisters, the humans, everyone and everything they know. The confession of it makes Vash feel microscopic. ]
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β¦ well. there are a few things he would be more thankful and grateful for, but they're the sort that he'll keep to himself for the foreseeable future.
he's quiet when that question comes, both because he hadn't been expecting such a thing to come out of his brother and he needs a moment to dredge up a response; there isn't much of anything left for him on that dead desert of a planet, not after the fall of july, not with vash here and safe with him. it's a selfish thought in its own way, he thinks, to want to keep what they've built here instead of possibly returning to the ruins they ( he ) had left behind.
there is also the fact of him being dead. there would be no going back for him either way.
he inhales softly, steadily, taking a breath in through his teeth and exhaling through his nose, fingers stopping their gentle massaging of tired muscle and instead simply brushing over the slope of vash's neck. lingering over the fluttering beat of his pulse. ) Is that what you want to do? Stay here indefinitely?
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[ He doesn't mean to pull away from Nai, but he does all the same as he draws in on himself, still pressed against Nai but smaller somehow, curled out of his reach and if there's something wet against the skin between Nai's shoulderblades, it's probably best to ignore it. ]
I don't want to lose you again.
[ There's a lot else he doesn't want to lose. His friends here, Meryl and the others. But there's certainly one relationship, one giant thread that's finally woven its way back into the tattered tapestry of his life and that's his brother. They still argue, still bicker, but it's nothing like before. Beyond that, they've woven a new little story in their shared tapestry, the color and shape of it spreading over so much of the worn fabric that it makes the rest of it that much stronger. ]
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( love, please, do not do this to yourself β
his reaction is near-immediate, when his brother pulls away from him he's turning to face him properly, reaching to wrap his arms around him and pull him in close; he knows better than vash what awaits them both back at july if they were to return, but as has been mentioned before, vash would be the one in need of catching up.
in need of realizing just how much devastation they've both caused because they're both so stubborn.
he tucks his brother's face into the hollow of his throat, chin resting at the top of his head as one hand smooths over the line of his spine, as soothing as he thinks he can be. ) Dear heart β¦ I'm not going anywhere as long as we're here, mm? ( he shifts just as much as he needs to press a soft kiss to the very center of the other's forehead. ) I'm not sure how much control we have over how long we stay here, but for the moment, I can promise you this much.
There is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you. My heart goes wherever you go.
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I know you aren't going anywhere. [ There's a pause, and a hand pressed to Knives' back shifts into a fist. ] While we're here.
It was the worst everything had been, what I remember last. What if we just go back to that? Not listening to each other.
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something in him goes just a little bit rigid when he says what he does next, when he gives rise to the notion of what he remembers from before he'd woken up here. nai has long since deduced that their timelines are different, that much is true, and he doesn't β he doesn't think β
he sighs out a small note, something that catches just behind his teeth, that one hand still smoothing along the line of his spine. ) There's nothing saying we will. ( but there isn't anything saying they won't, either, and he knows that. )
What if we were to go back with our memories of this place? And how much better we were here?
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The thought does seem to do something to calm the worries raging in his chest, but his grip on Nai is no less desperate as he does his best to merge with the warmth of his brother.
They could. They could work together instead of being at each other's proverbial throats with their separate ideals. Together maybe they really could make NML into the paradise for themselves and their kind AND the humans. ]
Only if you'll be there, Nai. Promise.
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he can't bring himself to. not yet, and if his own fear is what ends up driving them apart again, well. he'll have done it himself, won't he? all over again.
let him think that they can work together. let him think that they can fix everything that nai has broken. let him think there's still something salvageable because maybe there had been here, and maybe they've come a long, long way from when he'd first arrived.
but there is no going back home. it's a thought that makes his throat tighten and the backs of his eyes ache, but he simply buries his nose in his brother's hair and stays there. ) I promise. Where you go β¦ I go.
( liar.
liar.
liar. )
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He knows, but he doesn't ask. There's a moment or two where he just watches, saying nothing and then he moves to press their foreheads together and closes his eyes. It's such a similar, familiar sort of action, one that Vash finds comfort in and one he hopes his brother finds soothing as well.
I'm sorry, Nai. ]
It's okay.
good lord this ended up long i'm sorry
One: Knives is no longer the man she was so afraid of.
Two: She's enjoyed Knives' company around the castle. The fact that he's given her gifts means that he likely has too.
Three: The kiss they had shared had been mutually enjoyable. The fact that she survived probably proved this.
Four: As a result of the above, Meryl was, most likely, developing feelings for Millions Knives.
The last one isn't a conclusion she comes to lightly. There is a lot of grappling to be done, namely with her relationship with the man prior to arriving here. There's a mental war in the back of her mind over whether or not she's done right by her mentor. She wonders if his penance here has any bearing on the world they've left behind. And of course, she can't help but fear that
It's Vash, in the end, that convinces her to place her doubts aside. Not literally, but rather his contagious optimism and hope for every soul around them. His belief that everyone, everyone could be forgiven is what pushes her to finally reach out and do her due diligence.
Her friends and partners have been consulted. She's gone over and over her thoughts in her head. And now there's only one thing left to do: actually speaking with the man.
It turns out, this is easier said than done. Meryl has passed by Knives' part of the castle at least three times now, all without taking a step further into the wing. The fact that the bottom of her jacket hasn't been worn clean off with how her hands wring into it is a miracle in and of itself. Never mind the fact that she somehow hasn't worn a rut into the floor.
On the fourth pass, she finally manages to summon her courage. With a heavy breath, she squares her shoulders and steps over the proverbial threshold that had been holding her back. Her head swivels as she begins to look for the man, unsure where to begin given the fact that she's never actively crossed this boundary.]
Knives? Are you in here?
i am EATING IT UP sorry it took me so long to get to it
knives β¦ never would have thought his hatred for humanity would have taken such a backseat, let alone nearly disintegrated entirely during his stay in this place, but it stands to reason that maybe it never is too late to teach an old dog new tricks, though if you were to ever use that phrase on him β¦ he might actually stab you.
with whatever he happened to have on hand. probably not a knife, but that's neither here nor there.
he's sitting in a chair off to one side of the room that makes up the most of his personal space in the castle, the paper and pen vash had given him recently resting in his lap and between his fingers respectively, and once meryl is close enough, she might recognize a very familiar-looking cup nearby, its contents still on the verge of cooling enough to consume.
he looks up when he hears her voice, so lost in thought at the notes he's putting down on the page in front of him that he almost hadn't heard her, but his expression melts into something fond when he sees it's her. ) I am, indeed. To what do I owe such a nice surprise? ( knife.
that is incredibly heterosexual of you. )
no no shhh you've had a lot on your plate.
(The tea isn't missed β in fact it makes her heart lurch. To say nothing about the faint pink that begins to bloom across her cheeks)
Right. She has a case to argue β one for her own feelings and affections. The thought very nearly makes her turn around once again, and really β it's getting exhausting, fighting her own mind at every turn. Compared to the arduous journey she's taken with her other partners, this is already far more exhausting, and she'd picked a fight with one of them along the way!
Her palms itch, drawing her back into the moment, albeit unwillingly. Part of her wants to bonk them against her forehead, as if it might knock some sense into herself. She'd have to explain the display to Knives, though, and that's the last thing she wants, actually.
Instead she holds them up, ready to wave them off.]
Iiif you're busy, it can wait. Honestly. It's not that important. [Maybe it is to her, but that's fine. He doesn't need to know that.] I was just going to ask if I could sit with you. And talk, maybe.
See. Not important at all!
yes but i'm usually much better than this!!
something he's really gotten used to doing, if we're not being too subtle.
now, knives has never been the sort to second-guess, himself, no matter what the matter at hand may be; he's always been strong in his convictions, in his decisions on how to move forward with any given thing at any given time and that β¦ might have been his downfall in the end, he isn't about to admit it but the fact remains that he doesn't know what it feel like to be so unsure of himself. he wouldn't understand the internal war she's having with herself even if he'd been aware of it in the first.
he waits patiently for her to finish, to get her words out before he's setting his things aside completely β placing them gently, delicately on the table beside him that also houses his tea β and offers her such an achingly soft expression that it almost doesn't look like it belongs on him at all. vash has always been the soft one of the two of them, of course, but in this moment she may realize just how much alike they really can look when there aren't the hard lines of anger creasing knives' brow. ) You're always welcome to sit with me. You never have to ask.
( he gets up, then, with the intention of ushering her into the room properly ( before she has a chance to change her mind for real and flee.
you can't r2 l2 your way out of this one, shortstuff.he gestures toward another corner of the room where a loveseat sits, perfect for two people to relax and have a chat and not be too far away from one another. ) Would you like some tea?
good thing i'm super flex and unbothered! πͺ
There's no logical reason for anyone else to be in this part of the castle, not right now. If there were, Knives would have made that clear to her already.
In the end, it reminds her that there's a reason she's there. If she's misinterpreting these gentle touches and sideways glances, if she's letting her imagination get ahead of her, then she needs to know it now.
Her hands clench into fists for just a second, long enough for the bite of her nails against her skin to fuel the resolve she needs. When she finally lets herself meet Knives' gaze once more, that determination lingers, even as her features soften into something just a little more relaxed.
A nod is offered.]
Right. Yeah. Tea would be great. [Having that focus point had helped her before. And even if that wasn't the case, she's begun to enjoy just having tea with Knives. If that's all this was between them, then that would be okay.
For now, though, she makes her way to the loveseat, trying not to think about the limited distance between the two of them. She sits down, with both legs folding and leaving her cross-legged. As she shifts about, she reminds herself that this was hardly the closest they'd ever been to one another β the mistletoe had made sure of that. But there hadn't been a choice then. Now is different.
They both want to be there. Meryl just needs to know why.]
We've been through a lot together, haven't we?
you are far too good to me
or a hammer to the chest, whichever is more inconvenient for him at the time.
she agrees that tea would be a good idea, and he gives her a small nod in return as he goes about pouring another cup while she settles herself; the silence stretching comfortably between them before she finally thinks to ask her question. it's an innocuous one, to be sure, one that could leave pretty much anything and everything open-ended and he ponders how he should answer her as he finally settles in the space beside, giving a low hum under his breath that could be contemplation β¦ and it could be something else.
it's true that this isn't the closest they've been before, but it's also true that this is the closest they've been of their own volition; he's careful as he settles not to invade any of her space β unless she makes it known that she doesn't mind if he does β finally holding her tea out to her and resting his hands in his lap. )
We have, in some way or another. ( he begins, quiet and somber as ever. he gets the feeling there's going to be more to this than just a simple rehashing of how things have gone since she first arrived. ) For the better, I like to think.
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But she can't reflect on the cup forever. Eventually, she has to lift her head and consider the conversation at hand. He calls all the developments a good thing, and that gives her hope. It also makes her all the more nervous. The last thing she wants is to have those hopes dashed. In the end, it would be better that it happened now, rather than later, though. That's what drives her forward.]
I thought so too. But the thing is... [She looks down at the dark liquid in her cup.] Some of those things have been rather intimate, haven't they?
[The kiss they shared. The name he gave her. The gifts exchanged and even now, his openness to her presence.]
I just want to be sure we're on the same page. That I'm not - reading too much into anything. And if I am, then that's okay! I can pull back, just...
[It all feels very childish, suddenly. She'd be better handing him a note and asking him to check yes or no to the question "Do you like me?" Her head turns away, the humiliation growing by the second. It threatens to clamp down her throat and keep her from speaking.]
I need to know where we stand, is all. Because if I - like you more than you like me, then that isn't good, right?
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he's also come to enjoy her company more than he'd previously realized he would in the first place, but. he thinks that might just go without saying at this point.
she hesitates with her words and he gets the feeling that whatever she's about to say has a weight to it she's unwilling β or perhaps afraid β to let go of; it makes him want to reach out to her, to take hold of her hand and reassure her that he's there to listen to anything she might have to say, regardless of what it might be, no matter how much she might think he doesn't want to hear it.
or how much she doesn't want to say it? two sides of the same coin, on that one.
so he waits for her to finish, or to at least get to what he thinks might be the end of her stumbling over her own words, the beats of her heart, and if he's quiet for a moment before he tries to give his own reply, it's because he's yet again trying to pick through his words and choose the correct ones.
it's not as though he's ever done anything like this before, and there are a myriad things that begin to roll around in his head all at once, thoughts knocking into one another and sending others whirling, spiraling in all sorts of directions.
he's just a little bit dizzy. i don't know much about humans and intimacy.
but that kiss was nice, brief as it was.
i wouldn't mind doing it again.
butβ
he swallows thickly, and the only thing that comes out of him at first is: ) You β¦ like me?
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(There is, of course, the wilder part of her imagination. This one insists that she'll be left on her lonesome, shut out entirely by Nai, with every ounce of progress lost.)
What she doesn't expect is the almost timid answer that follows, so innocent in its formation that she can't help but let out a laugh. It's gentle, and coupled with a smile so endeared that she may as well be radiating hearts. Maybe she's reading too much into it, but she can't help but reach forward in that moment. She does what Nai had hesitated in doing, threading their free hands together. The tea lingers in her hand for just a moment longer, before it too is set aside. The now freed hand tucks over the opposite side of Nai's sandwiching it in.]
I do. A lot, actually. [And just in case it there's any chance of being misunderstood, she adds:] Not just as a friend. I hope you knew that much already. I - mean it romantically.
If... that's okay, Nai.
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it doesn't mean anything if you don't get it right, for all he wants little more than to assuage any fears that her feelings are misplaced, he has to choose the right words. and he has to choose them well.
( just be patient with him. he's learning, and he still has a long, long way to go before it all makes sense. )
he's not quite expecting her to finish what he'd thought about starting and reach out for him , take his hand first in just one of hers β so, so small in comparison, it endears him more than he thinks he'll ever be able to put words to β and then both, and such a simple thing shouldn't affect him as it does, but he'll be damned if his heart doesn't do a ridiculous flip-flop somersault behind the cage of his ribs.
his fingers squeeze hers gently, and he picks through his thoughts one by one until he can settle on something that he thinks might actually make sense when he tries to put it into words. ) I find your friendship invaluable, to start. Whether or not there would ever be anything more than thatβ ( he pauses, absently worrying at his bottom lip with the edge of one sharp incisor, a nervous habit he doesn't actually realize he's picked up just yet. ) I don't think there are words for how much I appreciate your acceptance of me. As a whole.
( you know how vash has a tendency to ramble when he's nervous? this is the nai equivalent. too many words regardless of what he's actually trying to convey.
he swallows thickly, throat clicking with the dryness in the very back of it, pale eyes searching hers and hoping she'll understand. ) I care for you, very much. But I can't tell you that I have any idea what to do beyond that. ( hey, stupid.
haven't you been thinking that you wouldn't mind kissing her again. you could start with that. )
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The squeeze of her hands is reassuring, even when the beginning of his ramble doesn't. Their invaluable friendship felt like a way of emphasizing that they were just that. She wouldn't hate it, just being his friend, but that wouldn't mean she wasn't disappointed.
But he continues, teeth worrying his lip in a way she almost wants to scold him for. Don't hurt yourself, she nearly says, if there weren't more important things happening, things she doesn't want to interrupt.
She sits in silence with his final statement for a moment. There's no disappointment or frustration. It's a better answer than she could have expected. The question now becomes... what next. The last thing she wants is to speak in a way that might imply she was pressuring him. She had known, at least in the back of her mind, that he probably didn't have much experience in this regard.
In the end, she shifts enough so that she's sitting on her knees. It helps her push herself up that much higher, so that they're almost eye level. Yes, she has to take every inch she can get.]
We don't have to have an idea. We don't even have to be a "we." [Even if her brow does briefly pinch at that.] I... I mean I'm sure you've seen Night Sky and Livio around. I have experience with them but - Sometimes I still don't know what I'm doing.
But I do know I care about you, too. A lot. And even if that just means little nights like this, just spending time with each other. Or Drinking tea. Or anything! I would be happy. [Finally, her gaze drops, courage finally fading.] But I wouldn't mind... more, either. More like - before. With the masquerade.
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( and that circles right back around to the reason behind his wanting to learn how to garden, because he's come to the realization that he would so much rather create, cultivate then tear down, and he thinks of his interactions with meryl the very same way.
do not mess this up. )
she lets him ramble, and he's almost afraid that she's going to move away from him when she begins shifting β don't, please β but that may just be a little bit of that ever-present anxiety of his seeping through when it really, really shouldn't, and when she settles again he tries not to take so deep of a steadying breath. or at the very least, to make it seem like it isn't exactly that.
he gives over a slight little huff of laughter at the mention of their resident giant teddy bear; not that he would ever refer to him as such outside of his own mind, but you're welcome to appreciate it in introspection. ) It would be rather difficult to miss him. ( he says quietly, with the hint of a soft smile. ) Night Sky, we've never crossed paths in person, but I would say I'm β¦ peripherally aware of her. ( sort of? he's probably seen her on the network.
he goes quiet when she picks back up her own ramble, holding her small hands in his, gently ( and absently ) brushing the pads of his thumbs over the backs of them, almost like he's trying to comfort her and isn't aware of doing it at all. there's a lot to pick through here, too, and a lot to respond to, but for the very moment β¦ he chooses that very last bit. ) Like before, hm? ( he leans in a little bit closer, and where before had been nothing but the most wholesome sort of uncertainty there's a liiiiiittle bit of mischief in the way his eyes shimmer just the slightest bit in the low light. ) Does that mean I have your permission to kiss you again? ( he really will get to the rest of it, we promise, but one thing at a time and baby steps, regardless. )
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But it's all a moot point, as she's far more distracted by the conversation at hand than attempting to read her... companion's? mind.]
They're both good people. Kind. And very different between the two of them. And from you. [So far, Meryl's type has been a scattershot. They've all also been things she's fallen accidentally into. Really, Nai is the only one she's actually danced around with any amount of deliberation.
Anything else she might have had to say is interrupted by the way the his fingers trace over her hands. Once again, she has to marvel at just how gentle he is. She no longer has to grapple with the man in front of her versus the one she remembers, but even still, he finds a way to take her by surprise.
... Like with that question, for example. She huffs once, turning her head briefly away as she tries to hide the way her face immediately burns an even brighter shade of red. She doesn't stay away long, though, not when the offer is enticing as it is. Eventually she turns back, though, eyes still wide and skin still warm, but a hopeful smile blooming all the same.]
I - would like that, actually. [Her chin tips upward, just a hint bolder than before.] Permission granted.
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moving right along! ahem!
he smiles softly at the first response she gives. ) I imagine you couldn't attract anything but good people. ( he pauses, brows furrowing, because yes, he realizes what he's just said and is going to make an addendum. ) Save for me. But we've been over your acceptance of me and everything I am β¦ so I suppose that means you get a free pass, hm? ( he's trying to be funny, he's trying to keep his tone light but the fact remains that he still feels as though he'll never be able to atone for what happened in july. all those people, all those lives, not even including his own because he'd brought that on himself β
but he's not going to allow himself to spiral. not now. not when this is a good conversation.
the way she turns away from him is β¦ undeniably endearing, as though she isn't entirely transparent and that's including the fact that he's terrible at reading social cues; she turns back to him, and he takes back one of his hands to trail his fingertips over the very edge of her jaw, a reverent sort of touch that goes to the corner of her mouth before that hand settles at the side of her neck, the flutter of her pulse bright and warm beneath his palm.
he doesn't say anything else, only presses his lips to hers in a semblance of how she had done the same during the masquerade, only unhindered by the stipulations of being released from a ( pardon the pun ) sticky situation; his lips are soft against hers, chaste in the way he first lays little pecks against the seam of her mouth and then kisses her properly, warm and inviting, giving her all the room she might need ( or want ) to steer the kiss in whatever direction she likes. )
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I think I attract people that want to be good. That are willing to be, even. [It's an alteration that successfully includes Nai within the bunch. She's not going to forgive his past, solely because that isn't just her role, but she can acknowledge the steps he's taken forward.
She can also acknowledge that thinking about those things is about to be patently difficult for her, now that Nai is leaning in. There's a brief moment of panic, an instant where her eyes go wider as she both forgets and the simultaneously remembers what she's supposed to do next. She leans forward to meet him, eyes closing as she accepts each little peck.
Even if the smile that threatens to bloom over her lips comes dangerously close to disturbing them both.
To her credit, she doesn't immediately push for escalation. Right now she's content with lingering in the kiss. When she does move her lips, it's slow and careful. She doesn't know how much Nai has done this, if ever. Thus, a careful, educational approach seems best for her.
And maybe she just wants to take it one step at a time with him. Maybe she wants to figure out what she's supposed to do with her hands first. They can't just fretfully grab at her own shorts the entire time. Perhaps if she lifted them to lay against his chest?
Yeah, that should work. If he gets to enjoy the way her pulse jumps and jackhammers, she should get to do the same.]
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( but nai can be hers, too. if she wants him to be. he'd never really felt like he belonged anywhere, much less to anyone even before the great fall, and there is a feeling of home in her that a part of him still doesn't know what to do with. he'll figure it out, in time, but β¦ he'd be trying to get away with a lie if he tried to say he didn't like the thought of being hers.
do with that what you will, meryl. he's in your hands. )
he sighs, quietly, a short and muffled thing in the space between them. ) I want to be good, I think. ( for a small moment, he sounds so much younger than his years, unsure in the steps he's trying to take forward. ) For you, and for Vash. You both deserve so much more from me than what I am. ( there's more of that vulnerability, effectively laying himself bare before her and asking, begging for her to accept him, as she's so far accepted everything else.
but. he follows her lead when she moves her lips against his, because he really doesn't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and he's still gentle, delicate in everything he does with her because he doesn't know any other way to be. though he does take a chance in dragging his teeth over her bottom lip, the slightest nibble, because he honestly can't help it.
his hands begin to move, quite without his consent and one settles at the back of her neck, fingers threading through the short, soft hair at her nap while the other settles at the dip of her waist, maybe even squeezing gently, pulling her closer and closer until she's in his lap, such a tiny thing, and he wants to keep her there.
his?
maybe he's thinking about that more than he realizes. )
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First step? Sliding easily into his lap. She straddles his waist almost without hesitation, stumbling only slightly. It causes her to break from the kiss just for a second, a faint little laugh forming, expression both sheepish and heartbreakingly stricken.
She's wanted this for a long time. Under pressure, maybe she'd admit to dreaming of it, even.
Lucky for both of them, she returns to their kiss just as easily. This time, it's her teeth that drag over his lip, reciprocating the gesture before tracing her tongue over the same space. If she had to guess β and she has no reason not to believe it, thank you β she has just a bit more experience than him. Fumbling though she might be, she can at least show him some of the ropes.
She quickly grows unsatisfied by the hand against his chest. One can linger against the firm muscle, but the other slides back into near-white hair. She cards her fingers through it painfully gently, relishing the way it slides through her fingers in the same breath that she relishes the slide of their lips.]
Meanwhile, back at the Masquerade
[Ah. She probably should have mentioned the alcohol sooner. Almost guiltily, she reaches up to toy with a strand of hair, all but tugging it free of the pins it's been put up with. It's getting on in the night, no one would fault her for looking the slightest bit unkempt. At least this keeps her from completely panicking, right?]
Under normal circumstances, no, you wouldn't. [Despite the faint layer of guilt forming at having given him the drink without a word, she manages to find a playful smile.] But, with all due respect, you don't look like the type of guy who's ever had a drink in his life.
[Translation: You're a lightweight, and she knows it. Granted, she only knows it because she recognizes her own kind. Lord knows she can't handle more than one mug of badland grog herself. She doubts she'll be able to get away with more than one glass, and that might have been pushing it if she didn't take it slow.]
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be bothered, having to take care of you - [She winces at her own phrasing β just coming right out with that, huh?] but I don't want you to feel... uncomfortable.
[There's a level of vulnerability that comes from being drunk. It's not the kind of thing she thinks Millions Knives wants to experience in a crowded room full of potentially unruly people.]
So just... take it easy. Enjoy the flavor. [She cranes her neck, looking for any appetizers going around.] And make sure you eat something too, just in case!
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( can plants get hangovers? for the sake of narration's penchant for wanting this man to suffer as much as he possibly can β¦ we're going to go with yes.
and '98 did it first, so thanks for that, vash.)he notes that playful smile for exactly what it is, and the one he gives in return is nothing short of a challenge. ) I haven't. Never had a reason to, but that doesn't mean I can't handle it. ( are we sensing some vash-level stubbornness? they are twins, after all.
but no, no. he is absolutely, one hundred percent a lightweight and he's about to find out just how much of a lightweight he actually is. stay tuned for those results, because they're bound to be hilarious.
as if to prove his point, he takes another pointed sip β albeit a small one, so maybe he's proving both of their points without really meaning to. any incapacitation of faculties involves a certain level of vulnerability, to be sure, and they may still be in the beginning stages of getting to know one another, but there is a part of him that doesn't think it would mind being taken care of.
not that he's about to say anything like that out loud! yet. give it time.
he follows her gaze in search of anything worth eating β not just appetizers, but of course it would figure that this one still has picky tendencies. ) I don't think I would be uncomfortable if you were the one looking after meβ ( what was that about not saying anything out loud? sir? good grief.
but hold on. getting distracted here: ) Is there nothing that passes for real food in this place? You'd think it all garbage if you went on presentation alone. ( is this a throwback to vash bringing nothing but junk back to the mushroom house in hopes of feeding him β¦ yes.
this is another reason he's going to end up cooking for you all. )
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She repeats this much out loud to him, too.]
Well, don't worry about any of that. I won't be far. [Though, she does pause to now grin. He's so fussy and so stubborn. Obviously she shouldn't be surprised at the similarities that bleed through between the twins, but sometimes it really is striking just how much they share between each other.]
There are some nice places to sit out on the balconies. Why don't you go get comfortable while I chase down some real food for us. [Is she teasing him? Of course she is. If he's comfortable with being vulnerable with her, then it only makes sense that she'd be comfortable enough to tease. There's no threat of harm β hasn't been in some time. The thought hadn't even occurred to her in months.]
The night air might even do us some good.
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besides β¦ didn't we both put in an order for a tipsy independent? coming right up.
he's still going to wrinkle his nose at what's laid out in front of them, perhaps eventually he won't be so fussy about food, but that's still a long time coming. unless this place sees fit to start serving decent-looking healthier options. not everyone is like vash and can subsist off of half of a donut. or honeybun.
he peers down at her with barely-narrowed eyes, dipping to take another sip from his glass as he hmmms in the back of his throat. he's sensing something β¦ ) You're making fun of me. ( there's no heat, no harshness to it at all, but a warm sort of fondness that is beginning to creep its way through him and absolutely has nothing to do with how many sips of wine he's taken! so don't even think it!
but. ) But β¦ all right, I'll go secure a place. ( knife who says that. who says that that isn't in some sort of military branch or another. why are you like this. ) Don't, ah. ( oh no. ) Don't be gone long? ( oh no.
look. it's not cute. it's not cute at all and you had better never say as much, because he will deny it until the very end of his days, and that's going to be a very, very long time from now! so just. don't mind him shuffling off to find a nice bench or some such that is relatively barren of other people to get in the way of any private conversation that might happen β¦ or the inevitable babysitting of a drunk plant. )
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That... does shift in the slightest, though, when he keeps speaking. She pauses, teeth pulling her lower lip upward. She gives a nod, speaking much softer now. Like it's a secret to be kept between them.]
You'll barely notice I'm gone.
[Their conversations about vulnerability are never far from her mind. And while this might not be the most intimate thing he could have said to her, she holds his request close to her chest all the same.
Not that she gives herself any time to dwell on it. She takes a step back, then another, before all but rushing away. Girl's about to hunt down the greenest looking thing she can find in record time]
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impishness β¦ is a good look on her, if he's completely honest with himself. but he doesn't need to get ahead of himself, so he's going to stow those thoughts away for the time being.
she turns on her heel and all but disappears and he's left to his own devices; he steps outside, the air crisp but very pleasant on his face, perhaps because his cheeks are beginning to feel very warm β and it doesn't take him very long to find a bench set out of the way, maybe partially obscured by a bush or potted plant, and if he's ( un? )lucky, there won't be any more devil sprigs attached to them.
he sits, and he waits, and he might just take another couple of sips from his glass as he does so, letting the flavor of the wine wash over his tongue and enjoying its bittersweetness perhaps a bit too much. but maybe that's the alcohol already in his system talking, we just don't know. )
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From there, it's just a matter of finding Nai out on the balcony. She may or may not stumble on a few canoodling Dreamers, but she apologizes quickly enough and skitters away. The longer she goes without finding him, though, the more she gets a little nervous. Hopefully, Nai hadn't looked too closely at the bunch and thought she had similar intentions.
(Strange how the thought makes her stomach twist in a not so unpleasant way. She tries not to think about that too closely, though).
When she eventually does find him, the Plant hidden behind a plant, she sets the tray of sandwiches down in front of him. Then, she does indeed carefully inspect that bush for any stray sprigs. Thankfully, they're safe for now. Any kisses shared will be freely given.
Wait. What.
Anyway. She settles down beside him, an arm's length of distance between the two to ease any tension. That doesn't keep her from leaning forward, peering at his face as she adjusts to the dimmer lighting.]
How are you feeling?
Unfortunately, I am back (2/16)
(The question of whether or not it's too early to share in this holiday has crossed her mind repeatedly. She'd like to hope Nai won't blame her for indulging in a human holiday. They'd exchanged gifts, after all. And besides... she'd like the excuse to spend time with him anyway.)
She'd like to think she's found a suitable gift, albeit one she has to struggle to keep hold of as she meanders the castle, searching for him. She might even have an idea of how to spend the day, if they follow direction said gift would imply. But it's all a bunch of maybes and hypotheticals for now.
First things first? Actually finding the damn man. She looks rather flustered and exasperated by the time she does, as if it's his fault she's carrying around an unruly looking tray. It has a towel haphazardly thrown over it, probably to conceal someone's view.]
You - [She says, very accusatory. Again, she's blaming him for her own decisions. It's a great start.] I have something for you.
oh no what will i do -- also don't look at me tagging this first before everything else
they may end up being less than traditional, in the general sense β¦ but it's the thought behind it that counts the most, right? yes. that is exactly right.
there's a little note of surprise that filters up from the back of his throat when she finally does find him β flipping through a book of recipes he'd happened across quite by accident, filing certain things away if he thinks certain people would enjoy them β and there really is no denying the amusement in his expression when the words that come out of her mouth sound so exasperated. like it really is his fault entirely that she has feelings that she has absolutely no control over.
his gaze passes back and forth between her face and the tray she holds, brows arching slightly upward. )
For me? What's the occasion?
no this works because now i won't forget what i planned out -
It's... a romantic holiday. Well, not today, it was two days ago. So sorry about that. But I needed a little more time anyway.
[She nods to the tray in her arms. Of course, just as soon as said affection manifests and wipes away that irritability, embarrassment crashes in right after. The weight of the gift she has to offer feels almost too heavy now. Her fingers seem to stumble as she shifts enough of the weight to the side to use one hand to pull the towel away.
The lid over the tray is clear, protecting what appears to be 24 individual seedling starters. They're divided into six columns, four squares to each piece of flora she's offering up. Each has a small stake planted in it, carefully and meticulously labeling each and every one. Bergamot, Peppermint, Lavender and Lemon Balm all make sense to be together β they're all things you might find in tea. Even Saffron β individual bulbs that are just now poking through β makes sense in this regard. The cornflowers are the odd ones out.
"Be gentle with me," the shopkeeper had explained. It wasn't quite right, coming from her. A promise that she'll be gentle with him, however? That seems much more poetic. That and the fact that they're blue.]
You - said you wanted to start gardening. So I tried to find some things I thought might also help you with your teamaking too. Most of them are for that.
[Just don't ask about the actual flowers. It's fine.]
excellent
it doesn't matter that she hadn't come to him on the day of the holiday she's referring to; he hadn't known about it when it was going on, what difference is it going to make that he finds out about it after the fact? ) I didn't even know of it when it was happening β¦ you don't have to apologize. ( honestly, it's the thought that counts, always, and with her, of course there's never going to be any shortage of effort to get her point across that she cares.
it makes his chest tighten in the most delightful way, and he doesn't really think he'd be able to convey that in words even if he tried.
he peers down at the tray she holds, taking in all the little seedlings and his chest only tightens further when she mentions what he'd said previously about wanting to try his hand at gardening. it's one thing for her to have remembered at all, but another entirely to have gone to such lengths to present him with something like this. )
Meryl β¦ ( he says, just a little bit breathless, just a little bit in awe. ) They're all so β¦ they're perfect. ( he reads the labels one by one, mind already swirling with thoughts on what he could put together once everything has matured enough, and if he's perfectly honest with himself, he's just a little bit giddy at the thought of experimenting further.
he takes the tray from her just in case it might be a bit heavy, peering down at the blue flowers and indicating them with a tilt of his chin. ) What are those? ( about not questioning the flowers.
whoopsiedoodle. )
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Yet another score for Reporter Stryfe.
Unfortunately, that scoreboard promptly evens out the second he says her name. At first, she thinks she might need to apologize for her efforts, but β no. It quickly becomes apparent that the tightness in his voice is from something warm and kind, rather than anything embroiled in disdain.]
I - wouldn't go that far. I probably could have gotten more. Or planted them better, or -
[She promptly cuts off when she notices just where that gaze goes. Of course he would question it. They stood out like sore thumbs comparatively. Everything else had a use. This was just... sappy drivel that she fears might cause an issue. Briefly, she contemplates making something up, just to make it easier on them both.
Instead, she exhales slowly, closing her eyes.]
They're... blue flowers. They kind of remind of the first flora I ever saw. But more than that, they have their own little meaning. I guess quite a few flowers do. These ones are - [Her eyes crack open, only to fix themselves up upon the ceiling.] Cornflowers. Which mean be gentle with me. Only it's not that I'm asking that of you, just...
[With her arms now free, she folds them delicately around her frame, as if an embrace might keep her from absolutely embarrassing herself.]
I told you I would keep you safe, right. That when you showed that vulnerability to me, I wouldn't take it for granted. Soooo... this felt symbolic of that.
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jury's out on what he's going to decide on, because that's going to take a lot of thought process on his part, and he's always going to want to do right by her when it comes to conveying what's on his mind. or in his heart, in this case.
he doesn't often say her name out loud, perhaps gearing more toward little one than not, and not only because he's always going to be amused by how feisty she gets when he uses it; they're both well aware that names have power to them, and he'd given her free use of his own despite having insisted that part of him had been dead for so long β well.
maybe he's had a bit of help in resurrecting it, and doesn't feel so jaded or bitter about bringing it back around now.
he shakes his head when she begins to ramble about getting more, or planting them better. ) Everything you've done for me so far has been enough, whether you know it or agree to it. Because I was never expecting anything from you in the first place. ( and. like this. he's doubly taken aback by the sensation of warmth prickling through him bit by bit, as though he were slowly lowering himself into one of the hot springs and allowing its soothing heat envelope him. full-body.
the back of his neck is prickly, and good grief he doesn't know what to do with all of this.
he continues to look down at the flowers as she gives the explanation of what they are β at least he had know they were flora, mostly because of the geraniums rem had kept when he and vash were young β and only when he sees her wrap her arms around herself does he move off to the side for a moment to set the tray down, make sure it isn't going to go anywhere, and when he returns to her she only gets the smallest warning before he ends up doing something incredibly out of character for him. ) You humans and your symbolism β¦ ( three, two, one.
he bends down just as much as he needs to sweep her up into a hold akin to a bridal carry, close to his chest with both legs draped over one arm, and he nuzzles gently into the space between her neck and shoulder as a large cat might, nose briefly pressing to the beat of her pulse before finally picking his head up again. )
I could say 'thank you' until I ran out of breath and I still don't think it would be enough. ( it's almost like he's musing out loud to himself, voice all soft around the edges, or like he's sharing a secret with her that he intends to keep between the two of them. ) For your kindness, your acceptance, your warmthβ you, in a very literal sense of the word. ( he bumps their noses together, not unlike an eskimo kiss, but without those exact words. )
Thank you for you.
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Not that she'll mind what happens, Eventually. Nai will have to deal with her squealing at first, and the way her fingers immediately grip at the fabric of whatever clothing he's wearing over his chest. She fixes him with a wild-eyed look, expression going from bewildered to furious to....
To touched. Despite the surprise, he's still so delicate with her. And it's hard to be angry when her skin is prickling and her heart is racing, too. She feels the wash of his breath over her skin in the brief moment it lingers, and she swears it makes her see stars.]
You don't - [She huffs, but doesn't dare shift or shy away or even scowl. Despite any appearances that she tries to put on, she doesn't want to ruin the moment. Her forehead angles so that she can brush against his. All for the sake of being that little bit closer.] You don't have to thank me. Not for something like that, at least.
[Since she's here, her hand lifts, cradling the span of his jaw.]
I care about you. I want to... not just be content, but to have good things in your life. Other things you can care for.
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he's ready for her to throw something of a fit with how he just. lends himself to the notion that he's allowed to manhandle her like that in the first place, but she's right in how incredibly gentle he is with her, and he's going to continue to be gentle until there comes a day in which she informs him that she doesn't want him to be.
( and where you want that thought process to go, you're more than welcome to take it however you like. )
he turns to nuzzle the inside of her wrist when she touches his jaw, making a low, soft, pleased noise in the back of his throat that might β¦ actually sound like something of a purr, if she were to pay close enough attention to it. sometimes plant mannerisms translate into being effectively human, don't think too hard about it.
just wait until he gets his glowy plant markings power back, and he'll pretty much be in glowstick mode around her all the time.he drops a kiss to the inside of her wrist, then lifts his head again and presses another to the corner of her mouth. chaste and sweet, and perhaps nearly the most genuine he's ever been with her. ) You're definitely a good thing that I have in my life. ( he says quietly, but seriously, bumping the side of her nose with his. ) And unlike someone else we know, I have manners, so I am going to thank you. ( he pauses, kisses the very tip of her nose. ) Any way I see fit.
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And really, his reaction is far from troubling. In fact, her smile β which broadens with each kiss β betrays her true thoughts almost immediately. Yes, her nose scrunches in mock annoyance, but there's no effort to shy away. His lips feel good against her skin. She feels good.]
Besides, I meant - [She huffs as their noses bump together, eyes closing as she feels the wash of his breath over her face. It isn't fair that she can't seem to put together a coherent thought right now. He's really got her on the back foot.] I meant beyond me. Something you can put your energy into if -
[She doesn't finish that train of thought. They both know that someone's presence in this world isn't guaranteed. She doesn't need to speak that potential into existence when they're otherwise having a good time.]
If I'm away. Or busy. Or anything like that!