( ic contact );

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Don't bother unless you have something important to say.

→ sms ← mms → voice ← video → action ← plans to end humanity → unreasonable tantrums regarding one's twin brother ←

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a sacrifice i'm willing to make for the sake of my own consistency

[scads]

( part of him is still reeling that they can finally have this again — the closeness, the open affection that he would never willingly seek out from anyone else, only vash — and an even more selfish part of him wants to keep it all for himself, hoard it and him well away from everything and everyone else, even if he's well aware that he can't.

he never learned how to share properly, all right? it's a learning experience.

but he's still soaking up all of that affection as though he might never get to have it again, tipping his own head to the side just so to allow the other's angle to shift, a soft hum that may as well be a purr filtering up from the back of his throat and losing itself in the minimal space between them. )

I never just say anything, Vash. You know that. ( a little bit of a dubious statement, to be sure, but he's standing by it. from this angle, it's far too easy to drop a line of soft, sweet, light kisses along the edge of the other's jaw, still nuzzling into him as a cat actively seeking attention might. )

Thank you for this.

[bountyfull]

Are you thanking me for piercing your ear?

[ He pauses, the words he's speaking are whispered in a low tone. Like they're sharing secrets in their tiny little space. ]

Or something else?

[ It's funny how intimate little touches like this feel, how simple kisses to his jaw or nuzzling against skin can feel so warm when they're so easy to give. Maybe it's because its Nai that they feel so much more important. He lets his hands slip lower on his brother's neck, the flesh-and-bone thumb dragging down over his throat and over the bump of his adams apple, like he's just taking time to explore. ]

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( there is no denying the tiniest little shiver that makes its way through him at the sound of his brother's voice, so low and soft and intimate, even if he doesn't mean for it to be. not intentionally. that's … just what vash does to him now, isn't it?

( it's what it always would have done to him, if they'd been allowed this sort of thing before now. if nai himself hadn't been so hell-bent on making him see the error of his ways, his choices in siding with the humans —

but that isn't what's on his mind now. it hasn't been for the last little while, baby steps in the direction they're currently pressing toward, and he's not about to ruin it just because his thoughts have a tendency to wander. )

nai swallows purposely as that thumb passes over the bump of his adam's apple, a simple movement but still one that brings them closer together, and the sound of his purr is still there in his words when he finally speaks up again, feigning something innocuous. )

The piercing, of course. ( he says it matter-of-factly, which ends up being a moot point when he immediately follows up with: ) And everything that's led up to it.

[bountyfull]

[ It feels like yesterday when they were sitting in the living room of the tiny mushroom house, their hands on each other in ways that seemed almost taboo in the moment but now Vash is pretty certain he wouldn't want to live without. Could he? He could survive, but he's certain he wouldn't want to. He laughs a little, bumping his nose against Nai's after a moment. ]

At least you're honest.

[ He drags his touch back up over his brother's neck, the pads of his thumbs brushing over the crown of Nai's cheekbones and up over the apples of his cheeks, dragging over the mirrored beautymark on his face. He's careful when he approaches anywhere near that newly pierced ear, but he doesn't touch there, instead letting his fingers climb up and drag through white-blond hair.

He makes a point then to drag his thumb over the middle of Nai's forehead, pushing stray hair away from the spot before he leans up and presses his lips to the skin there. He never really thought he'd get a chance to share this sort of intimacy with his twin again, and he's struck in this moment with an emotion so intense it almost makes him choke up. When he speaks, it's hushed and in that same low timbre as before, but somehow just a little awestruck. As though a realization's just come to him. ]

I love you, Nai.

[scads]

( being able to lay his hands on his brother as he had that very first time, it may not have been so long ago but now that he's had it, it's going to feel like he's missing something if they have to go too long without it; that softness, that closeness, that yearning. it isn't something he wants to have to live without, either.

he nuzzles back, like a cat seeking out affection, even if his grin is just this side of sheepish. ) I try to be.

( honest, especially with everything that includes vash in it; his brother has helped him feel at home here, feel safe even without the powers granted to him by being an independent, and he thinks, perhaps not for the first time … that it might not be so bad if they never found a way back to him. he could exist, like this, as long as vash is by his side.

he soaks up the attention vash lays down on him like flower petals chasing a sunbeam to soak up its warmth, a low sound of the utmost contentment filtering up from the very back of his throat; in this moment, it's almost as if nothing had ever changed between them. they were still vash and nai, two halves of the same whole, finally coming back together as they were meant to.

i love you, nai.

he almost chokes on a sound that doesn't have a name, no words to put to it to describe the sensation that thrums through him at three simple words; i love you, like the past century and a half hadn't happened, i love you like the clench of a fist around his heart that squeezes and takes the breath right out of him. i love you, like it was always meant to be.

there's a wetness pricking at the corners of his eyes when he speaks up again, but he ignores it. )

I have only ever loved you, Vash. ( my vash. my vash. ) More than anything. ( he pauses, and then those three words are given back to his brother brushed along the seam of his mouth, soft and reverent. )

I love you.

[bountyfull]

[ He's known. No matter how difficult things had gotten, somehow, deep down there was no denying that they loved each other. They're brothers, two parts of one whole, meant to compliment and support the other. Being torn apart, leagues of planet and stars and ideals between them was only painful. Even at his most afraid, his fear was never for himself when it came to Nai. Here and now, with the work they've put in to stitch together their tattered relationship and torn hearts Vash is certain he never needs or wants to be separated from his brother again. Together, they can overcome so much more than they could when they were apart.

He's so, so sure. He's so, so, hopeful. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, not out of sorrow but just because he's always been emotive, and he brushes his nose against his brothers' briefly. ]

I know. I love you, I love you.

[ It's muttered again and again, his lips ghosting against Nai's in return as he says them, his arms moving to wrap tightly around his brother as he turns that ghost of affection into an actual kiss that stays chaste, for now. It's almost like he's still getting used to hearing the words tumble from his own lips, off his own tongue. He's certain he hasn't said it in over a hundred years, not to anyone. He might as well be inhaling every exhale Nai makes for how close he's slid himself into Nai's lap, and for all the gentle, tenderness he feels in this moment it's not close enough. ]